Gender norms are a kind of social imprisonment. Reproductive organs do not define personality expression unless you choose so. Live and let live.

My own experience is that self honesty is best for my spoon count - to choose not to engage my psyche into the issue, rather than to rationalise that "no one was really hurt" or similar.

with relative ease, this scale of loss is devastating, full stop
Also, if looking at this in this way is beyond your spoon capacity now, that is absolutely OK. You don't have to engage.

The failings of the government infrastructure, climate change impact, etc are real yet turning our focus immediately to that is yet another form of distancing and denial.
So, let's perhaps avoid the lie that only privileged people lost homes, and although the privileged can buy or rebuild .

However, it's also inaccurate, and it's a kind of lie we tell ourselves because empathy means feeling uncomfortable and helpless. But it also means we dehumanise others and THAT is a path that allows us to accept atrocity.

by reducing people to categories and dismissing their losses because they have privilege. As humans coping, we do this all the time because horror is overwhelming. However, it's also inaccurate, and it's a kind of lie we tell ourselves because empathy means feeling uncomfortable

wealthy people who lost their homes, and, either way, those people also lost pieces of their lives that are irreplaceable.. There are also many who are not rich or famous, many there who have lost everything.
It's easy - much easier, in fact - to distance ourselves from the horror

.. that 2 of our dogs were out and OK, thus believing the others must be. They weren't.
Later, at a friend's house to sleep, vomiting as the shock wore off. We had an elderly relative living with us and her dog did not make it.
My point is... It wasn't only .

... the alternative reality coming over me, the drive back telling myself "maybe they are wrong"...then seeing the glow of the blaze in the distance and shock setting in.
I remember not remembering much then except running through neighbour's yards calling for our dogs. The relief finding

Losing a home to fire is devastating. Ours burned down when I was 12.
All of the family were at our business, 40 minutes away. I was working as a waitress there, I think. I'll never forget getting the phone call from a neighbour saying "I think your house is on fire"...