Dani 🤎

I didn’t expect this to do well on my countertop because it’s similar to the last one but yes to this, 7/10

My child gave me her germs and what was a minor fever and rash on her has woke out of my sleep to let me know that I am down terrible. 😭

It gets on my nerves when dads don’t play with their daughters because what the daughter wants to do is girly. Only good dads put their pinky out at the tea party, the rest of y’all got broken masculinity and a sad inner child. 😭

These bars are five ingredients and they’re supposed to be strawberry flavored but they taste like raisins. So I looked at the ingredients and why are there more raisins and dates than strawberries? 😭

Better yet, I’ll go schedule that now. 🤣

My friend’s 30th birthday is coming up and his mortality has weighed heavier and heavier on him each year. I can’t wait to send the “not 30 😟” text. There will be no peace from me, just harassment. 😂

My coworker raises her chickens free range and now the office has free eggs, it’s beautiful.

Yes.

I didn’t realize how my child has more preferences than words. I didn’t know you like blueberry donuts more than the glazed but you did not have to yell, I’m doing my best. 😭

I said “back on my day” in a room full of people older than me and I got fried right up for it 😭

What do you get when you cross a love of platform shoes with a woman who doesn’t pick up her feet?

Me. And I trip a lot 🧍🏾‍♀️

See, the thing about using a work email with the public is that they hang on to that shit and hit you randomly for aaaaaanythinnnnnnnng. 😭

I have seen nefarious levels of slander for Geminis and Virgos and this lets me know that people just don’t like strong mercurial energy. 😭

A June baby is fiiiiinally getting her first pearl necklace 🥰

They told us we could pretend to order anything as part of our work training so I pretended to order $9,000 worth of armadillos. 😌

If you make an undisclosed substitution on my food then that is not a substitution, you fucked it up, I don’t believe you, and I want a refund. Can’t go around changing shit without saying shit.

They get MAD when you take criticism too well.

See, and that’s all I needed to hear to never consider it again. I’ll take my good deed and keep giving them away. 😂

I can’t be the only one who feels like selling their old clothes is more trouble than it’s worth. My local Goodwill will always have a friend in me. 😂

I cackle when I go to lunch and pull back up in somebody’s good parking spot. 😂

A mountain was moved today. 🙂‍↕️

The support of my given family when it comes to my daughter has been out of this world. My created family doesn’t worry alone or struggle, they’re right there worrying with us and making a way.

TikTok dropping ads for safety features tells me everything I need to know.

Ughhhhhh stopping in an intersection does nothing for you and do not be surprised when you get T-boned!

Nah, that Panda Express ad ain’t right 😭

Stop treating people familiarly for basic, minuscule shit. You didn’t vet their actual brain, they got too comfortable, and now it’s awkward because they done said some shit you don’t like but ohhhh this supposed to be the caucasian homie right!?!??!??! An honorary black person!?!??!?? TUH. 😒🦝

It doesn’t have to be n-word passes and cookout invites, let’s put up a boundary and use “ally” when applicable. Why are people still playing around with n-word passes, you WILL get called a nigg- of SOME sort and for your sake I at least pray it’s ending with A.

I love the photo updates from the daycare. Kids really do just be funny 😭😂

I want to attend my high school reunion as a fly on the wall but as a human I do not want to be around those people fr. 😂

Thank you because I don’t wanna beat the mailman up but I do blame him 😭😂