Arlan Hellison*

he means well

my cat like “hey man does it help if I stand directly on your stomach with two feet and put all my weight into it”. no dude. that is not helpful but I can see how you would think that

I had rice and beans and ice cream and now my stomach is like “you’re fuckin dead bro. you died. you’re in Hell. this sucks for you”

yeah I hit the little heart already pal

I agree … strongly

doing a harrowing HBO documentary series about the first year of Bluesky

500 likes and I'll call out tomorrow and get day drunk and play video games

the credits floating through cgi outer space is pretty unnecessary but whatever I like cgi outer space

idk what they added but it certainly wasn’t anything the movie was missing

I hate to say it but the best version of this was probably in Captain Marvel when Jude Law’s like “haha you think you’re tough, fight me without those powers” and she just goes “no” and blasts him like a mile away lol

smeh. boring. ugly

usually when the bad guy says something like “you’re nothing without the ring” you’re supposed to prove him wrong

idk why everyone is so impressed with Hal’s dad. I prefer test pilots who don’t hilariously explode

casting Angela Bassett as Amanda Waller and then not knowing what to do with her should be illegal

god idk why the suit had to look like green exposed muscles. also it’s so fuckin, green. there’s no black or white in the costume at all

I’m sorry did Hector Hammond have a copy of Pokémon in his bedroom

I’ve never regretted anything in my entire life

fan favorite villain Hector Hammond, also known as. well. that’s it, he’s just known as Hector Hammond

there’s so many characters in this movie lol like why are Hector Hammond and Amanda Waller and Carol Ferris’ dad all in it

like the cgi is fine for the sets and stuff I just do not like the fully-animated characters very much. a lot of them could definitely just be guys in makeup

the suit looks like SHIIIIT

getting righteously Cotton Eye Joe’d for costing the town their jobs is not making me like him

Hal is the only one doing jokes and they’re not funny

oh my god the Guardians and their terrifying little jellyfish skulls, I love it actually lmao

it’s Taika Waititi and it is so I’m just gonna move on from that information

oh god please, please tell me the guy decked out like the IT Crowd guy is not Tom Kalmaku

they foreshadow the toy car thing because it was the only exciting idea ring construct idea they had I guess

hilariously enough I think a lot of the problem with this is it sticks to all the stuff that was added with the newest version of his origin at the time and it’s all boring

Hal is a stupid asshole and this is at least consistent with his modern portrayal

the tragic backstory sucks and is presented hilariously