Roya’s Sad Account

I’m constantly told that once I find my groove I will be unstoppable. GOD I want this to be true so badly!!!

I just wanna be in a better financial position so I don’t deal with constant bullshit every which way I go

I really REALLY don’t wanna be in this job anymore

For the first time in a long time, I’m standing up against my brain demons. Like I’m angry over how illogical they’re being just to bring me down. Who gave them the right to suggest that my OWN FRIENDS AND FAMILY are against me for existing wtf

Every now and then I’m in a new office building for work and I gotta say, I’m much prefer the environment here as supposed to the other that’s more like an open office (yet also compact if that makes sense)

Thankfully it’s not work related. Just most of the news and a really good comic that really got to me in a deep emotional level. I just needed a breather

Having an internal moment at work rn ….

It’s really sucks how often mental health is never taken as seriously as it should. Countless times I’ve seen people going through a complete crisis/cry for help and they often dismissed, joked upon or told they’re being “too dramatic”

My dad really wants me to be successful with my art and streams

I need to get up off my ass and actually work on my stuff and be able to do what I actually WANT to do for a living. I don’t wanna be in this eye doctor job anymore!!

Plus there’s SO many better store front websites out there. Like yeah some require some payment, but that’s better than sharing your ID to persona

I want everyone to think less of me for still using Discord despite everything

While I’m mostly over it, I’m still upset over what happened with my friend and how things ended up. Especially knowing how it was all my own fault and how preventable it could’ve been

Not being able to draw as much as I used to sucks balls especially when my brain is just filled with so many different ideas

UUUUGH NOT MY LEFT EARBUD SUDDENLY BECOMING LOWER THAN THE OTHER!!! It’s so disorienting and I hate it!!!

I DONT WANNA GO TO WORK TOMORROW!!!!!!!

It’s always the worse when something not so great happens right after a coming out of a good movie. Right now it’s me loosing my mask and reading up weird af decisions from game devs I’ve been following for years

If you try to send me a DM request, please don’t have only be “I hope you have time to talk” or “can I talk to you about something?”

JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!! Or else I’ll ignore you entirely

I’m just not satisfied with my current job anymore. Yes it’s my best form of income but I’m already just done and I already wanna get off my ass and actually do the work I’ve been holding off for YEARS

Might be wild of me to say but I’d actually wanna not go to work anymore so that I can focus on my crafts and hopefully get a better job/career through my work alone

I’m gonna TRY and fall asleep tonight. Hopefully my phone addiction won’t keep me up at night (AGAIN)

And the worst part is that I can never fall asleep on a plane, so I end up passing out after I get to my destination

It’s always the night before a flight that I have the most difficult time falling asleep. Either that or I stay up all night long (if it’s a morning flight) am delirious the whole way through

I hate how I see an amazing project from peers that genuinely inspires me and yet in the same breath my brain is like “nobody’s gonna give a shit about your characters the same way”

I know things could’ve gone SO much worse, but things could’ve also got a lot better too

It’s so hard for me to forgive myself for how much of an asshole I’ve been to so many I consider my friends. I doubt they’ll ever forgive me for how much I hurt them

I would love to have the ability to have lock my accounts. I dont wanna air out my inner personal thoughts into the open

I keep thinking about this mentorship I applied for and how my dad keeps asking me if anything has come up from it. I wanna be able to do it SO badly but idk... I've just been so burnt out from so many rejections. Trying my best not to loose hope