Deacon Blues Clues

This is Super Mario's origin story

I bet all the young girls they murdered in that school would've loved to play these cute little video games but, you know, uh, they murdered them

My reaction to this suggestion

20% of world chili supply cut off with closure of Strait of Hormel

As in "crowd of people demanding to be able to sexually assault his house guests"

we expelled them, blacklisted them, called cops to beat the shit out of them, and deported them. why aren't they protesting again? i'm very smart

wait a second wasn't this literally the thing happening right before Lot had to peace out of Sodom and Gomorrah

Years ago in SF, I ate half of a weed brownie. It started to kick in and I basically ran home. On the way, I got a burrito at a joint around the corner from my house.

The next day, I woke up with my shoes on in bed. I was cradling a plastic bag with the burrito inside it like it was my child.

I still can't believe how effective the Fuck Racism shirt in No More Heroes was at getting people to tell on themselves

In Super Mario 64, if a shell-less Koopa bumps into Mario while he is asleep, he will enter a "sleepwalking" state, where all of his voice sounds are replaced by snoring. He will continue snoring even when being shot out of a cannon; the only way to wake him up is to harm him.

BREAKING: Washington Post reports the Strategic Helium Reserve has been emptied. "ᵂᵉ'ʳᵉ ᵃˡˡ ᵛᵉʳʸ ᶜᵒⁿᶜᵉʳⁿᵉᵈ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᶦˢ" says Lt. Paloma Soredick, Trump's pick to supervise the reserve. "ᵂᵉ ʷᶦˡˡ ⁿᵒᵗ ʳᵉˢᵗ ᵘⁿᵗᶦˡ ʷᵉ ᶠᶦⁿᵈ ʷʰᵒ'ˢ ʳᵉˢᵖᵒⁿˢᶦᵇˡᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵒˢˢ ᵒᶠ ᵒᵘʳ ʰᵉˡᶦᵘᵐ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵇʳᶦⁿᵍ ʰᶦᵐ ᵗᵒ ʲᵘˢᵗᶦᶜᵉ"

Punxsutawney Phil wasn't messing around

Three US fighter jets accidentally shot down by Kuwaiti air defenses, military says | CNN Three US fighter jets crashed in Kuwait on Monday due to an “apparent friendly fire incident,” the US military said in a statement.

That was actually our allies who did that www.cnn.com/2026/03/02/m...

Like I can at least understand how the Japanese got their victory disease that led to the loss of their carriers. They literally destroyed half the US fleet and conquered most of the South Pacific. Trump's admin is riding a similar high off like, fighting Cuban security forces in Venezuela

Mega Starmie walking like this in the anime is one of the scariest things I’ve seen in Pokémon.

I like Luigi more bc i enjoy his green and white fireflower color scheme more than Mario's red and white

The funny part is every insanely degenerate gambling mahjong freak I know irl is a 60+ year old woman

There's a part in kaiji where you briefly see what it's like when he has to draw a woman instead of a man who is vaguely shaped like a duck and its uncanny

They're essentually already running the US government like a Klingon Bird of Prey, why not adopt their same model for succession/promotion to captain

This is what Mahjong Soul is like when it's 3 random waifus and then one guy is playing as the murderously insane 70 year old villain from Akagi

Says a lot about him that he's still on twitter :/

"Security Classification Epic Bigot"

We had essentially solved the problems of economic recession and access to commodities (at least, domestically) and a bunch of bored idiots blew it up because they were absolutely certain that they could get a "better deal." No, man, the sub-80 IQ real estate guy didn't know how to get a better deal

these fucking idiots cut off fossil fuels. now we'll never get the sea level rise we need to get a new strait.

I have a working theory about this: the grocery store parking lot is both the longest the average American spends outside on a given week and the most unobstructed view of the sky available to them

I've just had an amazing idea