Tim McKenzie

No lies detected. #SuperBowl #HalftimeShow #BadBunny #TogetherWeAreAmerica

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner #Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner

#2A #Minneapolis #ICEOut #StatesRights

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner
#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner

#Trump: "We have created super high economic growth."

I agree, if you're super high it looks like you've created economic growth.

#WhereDoYouBuyThatShit? #LacedWithShroomsANDPeyote

#Economics #Inflation #Bullshit

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner #Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner

I hear this question is on the ICE entrance exam.

Just kidding. We all know ICE doesn't have a fucking entrance exam...

#PotatoSalad #Raisins #PeakWhiteness

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner #Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner

Macho Man Randy Savage was so dominant in the late 80s that every high school graduation since has begun with his ring music.

#Wrestling #MachoMan #RandySavage #IYKYK

A publicity headshot of Steve Guttenberg captioned "I.C.E.: Because why should Steve Guttenberg be the only one who can still find work after going through four different police academies?"

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner #Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner

I needed a little levity break this evening.

With apologies to #BobcatGoldthwait...

Isn't "La Maison Aux Chouettes" the House of the Owls? Am I going to be checking in with Hedwig?

Even if I could, I don't even know WHERE in the French countryside this place even is...

Has this ever happened to you before? You're practicing your French online and go to look up a phrase and end up booking a romantic room for 2 in a charming chateau in the French countryside on New Year's Eve, which is a great idea, but I can't afford to fly there...

A photo of a bong, with the caption "Coming soon: a right jolly old elf, who ate all the Pringles in spite of himself."

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner
#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner

#ChristmasCheer #WhereDidThoseCandyCanesGo?

#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner

#LearningFrench

I have difficulty with Muzzy. Psychologically. Sylvie tells Jean that Corvax has created multiple copies of her, and he never once suggested a threesome. They're not really selling me on the AUTHENTIC French experience...

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner
#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner:

#WritersLife #Writing #LifeHack #TryAtYourOwnRisk #NoLiabilityAccepted

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner
#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner:

If #bananas is a synonym for "crazy," and #nuts is another synonym for #crazy...

@littlecaesars.bsky.social and I have very different interpretations of #CrazyCrazyBread.

#PizzaPizzaIsStillTheSameThough

Stream of Consciousness Airlines Our cruising altitude is based entirely on dosage.

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner
#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner

A little herbally-enhanced ramble...

Tim McKenzie (@confessionsofamiddleagedstoner) “The sun has never seen a shadow. From the sun’s perspective, everything is always perfectly lit. The sun is immune to the shadow demons.” When I consume $12.50 of psychotropic edibles, I expect be...

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner
#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner:

substack.com/@confessions...

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner
#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner
#LeBongCestBon

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner

Sorry for the delay, I've been doing a lot of writing, and a lot of work, but I'm returning to some intermittent social media work.

#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner

I'm coming down with a cold.

My nose has more drip than my wardrobe.

If I were almost ANYBODY else, that statement might have some clout.

#FasionImpaired #DressLikeAHobo #ButHeyItsComfortable

"Holy Intoxilock, Batman!" Bruce Wayne has a drinking problem.

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner
Another skewed take on #Comics and #PopCulture.

Harley Quinn, Medicine Woman Harley Quinn was once Dr.

Hey, guys, sorry I've been posting less frequently here. I've been working on a lot of longer-form #ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner stuff over on Substack. Here's a recent drop, and I have a few more forthcoming:

Thanks for reading, and for the support. It means a lot.

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner

Smokey is embarrassed as shit. He's trying to convince all his friends that Tokey's only a cousin by marriage, like he's taking PR advice from the #Arkansas bears, for some reason... (3/3)

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner

Tokey the Bear is a little TOO chill. Forgets what he's supposed to be doing, starts makin' #S'mores. Next thing you know, there's another fuckin' #wildfire in #California, man. (2/3)

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner

Smokey the Bear IS #CocaineBear. Got that SUPER intense motto: "Only YOU can prevent forest fires." Up in a fire tower doin' rails at 2am to increase his vigilance. Now, I hate to say it, but he's probably a better choice than his California cousin, Tokey. (1/3)

Confessions of a Middle-Aged Stoner Yes, I'm aware it's the name of the blog. It's also the name of this post.

#Confessions of a #MiddleAged #Stoner #ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner #Marijuana #Humor #GenX #Legalization #Nonfiction #UnlessTheStatuteOfLimitationsIsStillInEffect #ThenFictionAF

The trade-off for bad things not lasting is that good things don't last, either. Is it worth it?

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner #SayingGoodbye #OwnerOfABrokenHeart #ThePhilosophyOfLoss

Subscribe to Tim McKenzie Click to read Tim McKenzie, a Substack publication. Launched 4 days ago.

Tim McKenzie

I've created a Substack, for some of the longer-form ideas that don't really translate well to Bluesky. Feel free to find more at:

confessionsofamiddleagedstoner.substack.com/subscribe?pa...

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner #ShamelessSelfPromotion

[A Substack Note from Tim McKenzie reads] Being a St. Louisan, I misread a comment about Werner Herzog as WHITEY Herzog. VERY different commentary. I would like to combine the two: "I told McGee to steal third, not because it was wise, but because the universe is mocking us and -- in that moment -- I wished to stare into the abyss and return the taunt. The runners stranded on second and third represent the meaningless, transitory nature of life's utter futility, as we fall half a game behind Montreal, firmly in sixth place. As we continue marching toward our inevitable demise, the crowd continues to cheer, but not from hope -- only to drown the screaming silence within."

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner #BaseballAndExistentialCinema #LifeIsFleetingInadequateCatchingIsEternal

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner

*staggers very high into bedroom, stomps one leg down and flops on the bed, one leg raised*

"Stuck the landing!"

#CirqueDuSoBlazed

The corporate world has taught me crying in the broom closet on my break isn't an emotional breakdown. It's "effective time management." I kid. At this end stage of capitalism, we don't get breaks. I'm just grateful to not be peeing in a jar like an Amazon worker. Yet. I haven't read today's emails.

#BlueSky benefits for United and JetBlue have nothing to do with #SocialMedia? I thought I was earning #FrequentFlyer miles this whole time...

#ConfessionsOfAMiddleAgedStoner #BackToTheDrawingBoard #LooksLikeImWalkingToBaltimore