Evie (Comms Open!)

Critters

yes all the eevees.....
(run away is such a silly ability in pmd pff)

Anyways sorry for the long tangent, just wanted to speak of thoughts ive had for a while

I dont know whats wrong with me, if there even is anything wrong. I feel like there is, something to explain why certain things happen, or maybe there isnt one. Who knows. Autism is the only thing i have some slight confidence in me but even then i still doubt everything. I dont know.

I actively get punished for it!! Because depending on where you live, it can be so awful to be anything but cis, straight, and neurotypical. Some people still believe in "curing" autism. And gayness. Its genuinely dangerous to have a diagnosis at times.

your feelings or heck even just understanding what they are in the first place.

Diagnoses exist but what are people supposed to do when they dont have access to any resources for that? I havent been to a doctor in years. Thats not even mentioning the part where if i do get a diagnosis-

Yet it still feels wrong to say that out loud.

Do i have OCD, ADHD, DID, etc
I dont know!! How is someone supposed to know? And even then how are you so sure??

Journaling your experiences is one thing but i think everyone can agree that documenting your experience isnt easy. Nor is talking about-

I dont even know if im accurately describing literally anything, im going off on a tangent for no reason

Is there something wrong with me?? Probably. Its hard to accept anything.

Get something wrong and you're a faker, damage the rep of those who have it

Do i have autism?? Probably? I think so-

It feels like im complaining over nothing, none of this matters, its so small. These arent real issues,

im just so tired of some things sometimes, i dont mind the counting usually, it happens almost subconciously. Ive gotten used to the static, i guess ill just always be having thoughts

There's so many little things where i just end up not being able to do. Anything. And when i do things it takes time because i have to count. Im not even mentioning everything, just things i can remember. All these little things add up

Sometimes i feel like there's static or some sort of fog in my head that never seems to dissipate. Its never clear, its always there.

Sometimes i repeat a word in my head over and over and over again. A word i've said, a word someone else has said, for no reason whatsoever.

Stunlocked in place for minutes just waiting for static to dissipate in my head. Sometimes i dont even know who i am anymore, and im just stuck there for minutes on end.

I stare at the ceiling or just cover my eyes and everytime i would end up distracted over my thoughts

sometimes the computer has to be on. Sometimes the fan has to be on.

My thoughts are so loud. Its genuinely hard to not think. I cant not think, thoughts are going off every single time. There are voices in my head and they are all so loud at times. Its hard to work.

Sometimes i get-

to use when im going out. Guess what, they're all basically the same bags, some identical but i cant just pick one random one. There's a right one. I dont know which one it is.

Leaving my apartment has to be in a specific way, lights on, sometimes curtains closed, sometimes curtains open-

takes. Picking up anything, putting anything down. Turning something on, anything. Literally anything, i have to count.

Picking out a specific slice of bread in a loaf can take me 5 minutes sometimes because im indescisive and i need to choose the right one.

Pickint out a specific grocery bag-

sometimes i wonder how im still doubting myself if im neurotypical or not when i am actively being debilitated inbetween having those thoughts.

why on earth would i count to three, three times, in an oddly specific rhythm only i know when i do literally everything. Do you know how much time that-

bap bap bappp >w<

evoovoovooivoooivoooevooovoooevooooevuiivoooievooo

more vee more vee

did you know

so true,,

please?

ppl who still commission their favourite artists even in this era where everyone is broke and genAI is being pushed on us at every opportunity—you are appreciated more than words can express!!!

hihihii

thank you!

illustration of a sylveon with star ended ribbons, neon blue tipped ears and wings, a star mark on their forehead, a halo, wearing a blue scarf with a red gem on it, floating and hugging a larger espeon with a fluffy tail with lighter pink tips on their tail and ears, wearing a pair of purple and yellow tinted glasses

monthly for someone on discord!

[ #pokemonart #furryart #feralart #sylveon #espeon ]

im so so sorry, i hope she starts feeling better
we're all here for you

baps u baps u baps u baps u

i care you little pix,,

illustration of an eevee standing up, with a cream colored belly, and lighter colors on the tips of his ears, wearing blue and white striped arm warmers and thigh highs, with a skirt and a blue/yellow flower on his ear.

monthly for @/eevoi.bsky.social !

[ #pokemonart #furryart #anthroart #eevee ]