Ive been more chill after events of grief. I learned to honor the feeling of goodbye better. I used to ignore it. If I felt I missed someone id never reach out but I learned its okay to remember a connection while understanding I dont need to revisit. There is a reason for endings.
I was in a very convoluted way these past few months as I removed several people near and dear to my heart. It wasnt something id planned but in hindsight it was needed. People that intentionally choose misery and seek to make me miserable cannot exist in my world. We cant function together.
I havent had time to focus me and my thoughts alone. Ive been reflecting that im just a girl that grew up. Nostalgia is nice to remember and see what once was. It doesnt hinder my present existence nor does it limit my future movements. At best nostalgia makes me grateful. I was there and now here
Ive learned when I see someone being treated like sht by friends or lovers to mind my business. Ive learned people choose their heavens and hells especially when they got a job with their own place. Ive learned to not be a buffer. If someone catching hell let em. I move out of karmas way
The way people talk to me reveals alot. Ive never been one to mince words. People really lie about who they are. Manipulative individuals get off on harming another via deceit. They find it funny to harm someones trust. They think no one sees them but when they do bad things it lingers. Vibe be off
I see people perform all the time in the workplace, at their homes with dinner parties and events in the community. Its exhausting to perform with them therefore I watch their behavior to further decide if they need to be in my life. People play games and lie so much. Not many are decent
Water attracts its own level is a saying I live by. I dont question others relationships. If someone wanna complain about their man or their friends I dont have time to listen. Its so easy to let people go that harm. If they are so terrible why keep messing with that person. Its foolish to me.
I used to get hurt when someone had malice towards me but now I dont. Now I put things into perspective. I realized that the way someone conducts themselves is revealing who they choose to be. From clothes, friends, lovers, acquaintances and environments they frequent. Its exposure of character
I really want better for others. I like seeing people do well. I think love looks great on anyone. I dont think that sewing seeds of discord helps anybody especially when confrontation head on can eliminate resentment. But everyone isnt like that. Many are jealous, petty and lowdown BY CHOICE.
Its heartbreaking sometimes when I come with love and get met with apathy. When I decide to end things after what I discover and the person then wants to work stuff out. Its creepy to me. I dont believe in second chances when the first chance involved cruelty. I like leaving at the 1st red flag.
I dont value people that dont value me. I dont turn the other cheek unless its to get a better angle to knock someone out. Im all love but im all violence too when people get out of order. I never understood being a lover and not a fighter as well. Caring is never a weakness and love is never lost
I am not someone that gives unlimited opportunities to try me. I give one. And that one time teaches me how to navigate around a person or an environment. Sometimes people get baffled by others audacity. I get scarce. I dont tolerate rudeness and disrespect. I shut the door forever. I dont look back
I have been learning harsh lessons on being kind. Sometimes people will reveal themselves to be mean and they count on me to be self sacrificing due to the way I carry myself. Im not. Im quick to cut a connection off and to remove myself from a room. I dont get loud. I get quiet. I erase my presence
I dont know how many times I was the smartest in the room but treated with disrespect. Whether it was racism, classism, sexism or homophobia there are people that will NEVER get help from me due to their behavior towards me. I dont care to be above it all. I ignore people. I let them struggle.
Ive learned to mind my business. Ive learned to step all the way back. I dont outstretch my hand anymore. I dont try to catch others when they fall. I let them be. Its given me great perspective. I dont need to be the bigger person. I can give what others give. We match energy 100%
Barefoot shoes been my latest obsession. The way socks are moving towards polyester makes them seem more like a liability than a sound investment. Cool thing about Barefoot shoes is the way they feel. Its so comfortable and easy to wear often and many are machine washable. I love the convenience
As I age I stretch more. In my youth id fall and just take it in stride. I dont even risk that sort of recklessness these days. I stretch often and alot. At times I wonder if it helps but I do it believing it does. Mobility is essential as age increases. Gotta stay limber to roll with lifes punches
I love finding interesting people, books, music and experiences. I like being in stuff but not of it. Its like that timeless stevie wonder song as. Its immaterial vibes that enable raw creativity to occur. I seek it out. Its a special treat to discover something that already exist but unknown to me
Im really sensitive to bad vibes in music. I dont like music that has toxic lyrics at all. Music that has strange negativity to it turns me completely off. There are songs that just bring me down and its the composition that makes me bummed out. I like uplifting sounds and insightful lyrics
Ive been moving away from sneakers and kitten heels to block heels. I gotta say its not so bad. I always thought block heels were ugly but the way they balance my foot when walking is NICE. I really like the designs of them. They remind me of mudd company of the 90s when thick shoes was everything
Love is such a beautiful concept to me. I love to see love in action. I love to see love spoken over my life as well others. I love to bear witness to love and feel it working in my life. Love to me is a philosophy and a idealogy. Either im loving or apathetic. It shows in all I do. Its my focus
I recently had to get rid of my favorite pair of shoes. They are such nice sneakers and the outside was gorgeous. The insides were horrendous as I used them often and the soles have been resoled often. Its kinda a metaphor of life. Somethings dont serve their purpose anymore and gotta go.
There is a peace that comes with accepting life. At times the powers that be in life whether work, family or media can influence me to be different than what I am. Its in those moments I reject the notion. If I was meant to be like whatever someone is suggesting id be that. Im who im supposed to be
I never feel down. I see people get bogged by circumstances in life which is normal but allowing myself to stay in a state of mind that makes me feel reluctant to move isnt for me. Im not discussing depression as thats a legitimate mental illness. Im discussing fear to try and fail then try again
Ive been delving into books on metaphysics and they are so positive. Many teach connecting real life to body-mind-soul connection. If I neglect pieces of me it will show up in another manner in ways I cannot ignore. It really hones the practice of honoring myself. I recommend it
These days it makes me proud to look back at those who came before me. The progressive mind set to keep perspective to enable a future for others. Thats what love is to me. Being able to be considerate. Its the highest form of affection. Its not easy to do because it requires a person to be aware
Seeing racist people attack my peoples history is like seeing someone spit in my grandmothers face. Its desecration. The dead have lived and they do not deserve to be conjured up to mock. Its very sinister to me and it makes me angry seeing such disrespect towards Black america.
Some pray to various gods but I like to pray to my ancestors. I like telling them whats on my heart and asking god to pass the message on. I like connecting to a source that once was. My peace comes from my past. Its enabled me to love going towards a future. The present me exist because they did.
Im a big believer in ancestral veneration. I love talking to the ether as if my passed on family members are still here in the flesh. It brings me comfort. When I move through the world I like to pull on the traits and personality of my elders. My heroes are dead but they are with me in spirit.
Certain chords make me feel like there is a progression to discover god. If god is a tangible existence then maybe music is the pathway. I love thinking about stuff like that. Its fun to me. I think is there is a math equation to surpass death? The immortal coil is but a theory of numbers to me
