“Which way is Iran?” “Woman! Tell me if Iran is to the left of here or if it’s south!” the commander-in-chief yelled at a morning commuter
11.03.2026 23:45
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“Which way is Iran?” “Woman! Tell me if Iran is to the left of here or if it’s south!” the commander-in-chief yelled at a morning commuter
He lives in current-day America in a garage in the PNW, of course he's depressed
“He’s been living in my garage since shortly after we shipped Dominaria in 2018, and he’s nothing like how we portray him in Magic’s story.”
REPORTING LIVE FROM THE ICE PROTESTS OF INNISTRAD by @parker.luckypaper.co is now LIVE!
In the absence of public truth and solidarity, conspiracy blooms, fueling authoritarianism.
www.cascadecascade.com/reporting-li...
“What they’re hoping to do is have a less fortunate venture capitalist with more limited finances take the company. Give the little guy a chance to toy with the careers of a few hundred live humans."
“It’s the damnedest thing when you have to do the support’s jobs yourself, and you lose anyway!”
WotC CEOs have access to Magic products that some would call...unnatural.
He was quoted as saying "this is the best pizza product you could hope to get your hands on this Spring season", almost like how a normal human would sound.
“Because we, like all lawmakers, have absolutely no interest or incentive to work for the benefits of our constituents, we’ve got a lot of free time. We decided to use that to, for some reason, get really invested in the Magic meta in our county jails!”
“We’re committed to respecting the legacy of Warner Bros. by upholding the values that created the legendary company. We at Paramount firmly believe in protecting those century-old morals. The exact values that created classic movies like The Jazz Singer.“
This historic move marks the first known time a Commander player’s complaint about being targeted is actually valid
"If your blood doesn’t run hot, I will make it run in the sands! Execution awaits the dissenter. Diplomacy has solved nothing. Only bloodspill can end this now. Call forth the warbringer!”
“I’ve been playing this game since 1997, and the rules are the rules. You get to play what’s in your kit, and only what’s in your kit. It’s not my fault the kit was more stacked than my ex-wife.”
Oh fuck is that a typo? Whatever, ship it - it's funnier that way,,,,
Commander's Herald Writers Starter Pack
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“I don’t mean to bother you honey, but do you remember those Pokemon cards you bought as a kid?” began a hand-written letter a staff member received along with a print-out of a YouTube screenshot.
“For Edge of Eternities, they made it hard to breathe. For Spider-Man, they became poor. Now there are rats crawling around with moldy pizza, the tables are all inexplicably sticky, and the terrible folding chairs feel like they came straight from a dumpster!"
“We’ve done a lot of wild and wacky Universes Beyond sets lately, and we’re really excited to explore a world as old and varied as the ones found in Magic: The Gathering.”
“We want to make sure those who invested in our game — and our company! — to get the most out of their investment. That, and we want to ensure our prized ‘Sold Out’ product stays ‘Sold Out'”
morcant with various indicators of how much of her it would take to be a centaur
Hey Chat, how much of a person needs to be horse for it to count as a centaur?
What Percentaur, if you will?
"We got Mac, Natalie Portman and Kristen Stewart as headmasters and -mistresses in the different schools, but Daniel Radcliffe refused. He said, ‘I don’t want anything to do with that wizard school shit anymore. Don’t call me back,’ so we got Mara Wilson instead.”
commandersherald.com/the-world-is...
Pop culture and cute animals aren’t enough to keep us from walking into the rising oceans anymore, so we’re combining the two.
“I’ve never felt more welcome at my LGS, and I’ve developed quite a taste for confetti foils too! I love my Ygra deck, and this really lets me lean into the theme. I really hate the triple-sleevers though, their cards take forever to tear into, but it really does lock the freshness in!”
Also true for Universes Beyond
Spoiled earlier this week (and I do mean spoiled because something about it STINKS) was a new copy of Trouble in Pairs. After my initial excitement wore off, I couldn’t help but notice something odd about the new art.
"This was a great chance for me to get my finances in order, get a message to Wizards, and get back in the will.”
Electric seaweed, a card reference to the TMNT NES video game, notoriously difficult for this section of swimming in particular
This single card is enough to bring back an entire generation of gamer trauma
It is unclear what provoked the use of the Blasphemous Act in the first place, but one source tells us it “set off panic bells” as it was “something here from somewhere else".
