Amanda Louise

I just saw a Cybertruck with a "Baby on Board" sticker and thought that was very self-aware of the owner.

i want to get married and live with someone someday but the problem is i am really fuckin annoying

oh you liked this one particular 10hr white noise video? here's 12 more

watching one singular sleep aid video is the most efficient way to speed run the destruction of your entire YouTube recommendations algorithm

*triple checks the link i just copied to make sure it didn't magically turn into a link to something horrifying before i send it to someone*

Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable

That is also a good option

i don't want to date to get married i want to date so i have someone to play It Takes Two with

new video game idea: kid thing, but scary

there's more. smiling kid friendly characters, but now with sharp teeth

and get this: the twist? they did spooky secret experiments. on children

and you learn all about the lore from notes and audio tapes

society went wrong ever since people stopped buying those cat clocks where the tail is the pendulum and the eyes move back and forth

I'm not afraid of loud noises

I'm afraid of making loud noises

Because if I make a loud noise while everything else is quiet the entities are gonna hear me and find me

me: man, I've been playing lots of JRPGs lately. I should switch it up
also me: a Persona 5 Royal NG run sounds fun

one of my favorite hobbies is scrolling through zillow daydreaming about all the houses i'll never be able to afford 💜

It can’t be stressed enough — these people are dangerous but at their core they are pathetic fucking losers

just checked the other timeline. tony hawk pro skater XIV is coming out on dreamcast 6

literally it was just playdough (playdeau?) moreau

with this slap bracelet, i thee wed

“Is everything a joke to you?”

Kinda, yes. That’s how I’m surviving.

Sell your Teslas and don't buy Cybertrucks unless you want everyone to laugh at you. That's what we all do, btw. Everytime we see that stupid car, we just laugh.

My wife doesn’t know about my secret second family (raccoons) that I visit while I’m traveling (in the woods)

Are we referring to all Teslas as Swasticars now or is that reserved for the cybertruck, specifically?

My son and I made mango sticky rice for dessert tonight, and goddamn. So delicious.

I say this not as a brag, but as a hope for you in your near future. Because I love you so much and you deserve something lovely, and sweet, and comforting. The world is grim, but sweetness persists. And so do we.

*pushing a wheelbarrow of cocaine into a room of 22-year-old nerds* SO WHO HERE HATES THE GOVERNMENT AND LOVES ME

president²

puppy

Seeing an ipad baby - no, this is not good

Seeing a cat watching the television - incredible, you are like a little man

whenever i feel stupid i just remember there are people out there who unironically spent money on a cyber truck and instantly feel better about myself

y'all ever see someone driving the same car as you and get all self conscious like damn that's really what i look like to you guys huh