lyss, esq.

Show dominance by emailing opposing counsel after midnight

I'm neither witty nor intelligent enough to come up with posts for two separate apps so is cross posting frowned upon here or...? 😂

But half the fun is reading the unhinged maga replies on my tweets 😩

Do [omitted] go gentle into that good night (tyranny)
--America, 2024

a man with a mustache is wearing a suit and tie and looking at the camera . ALT: a man with a mustache is wearing a suit and tie and looking at the camera .

At least 12 people have asked if I still enjoy being an attorney this holiday break

Icarus only it's some yelly blockhead from Florida who pays teenagers for unmentionables

actual malice implies the existence of pretend malice

Happy Friday Eve! We're so close 🎉

Yes 😂

Our jail was cyber attacked...? And their whole computer system is down... So to visit our clients, we have to walk through every floor and search for them......lmfao

And they say global warming isn't real

Stop adding celery. Nothing was ever made better by adding celery.

a man wearing a celtics jersey is asking if he can get a hell yeah ALT: a man wearing a celtics jersey is asking if he can get a hell yeah

They moved video arraignments out of my courtroom this morning 🙏

Sometimes when people ask if my Skyrim tattoo is Hebrew or Arabic, I say yes and make something up

"I, too, am a normal earthly human who eats fries. See? SEE?"

He's holding that empty fry thing like it's a Grammy

What ever happened to that law student who went on Fox News lol

Not sure I've ever dreaded the incoming hometown Thanksgiving convos as much as this year

it must be fucking exhausting to be an immigrant — taking some American's job and working all day, and then shoplifting exactly $949.99 worth of goods, and then coming home and eating someone's pets for dinner. how do they even have time to go to the MS-13 meetings

Sums up the current state of the US politics

Omg—24 vote lead… out of 5.5 MILLION votes!

Happy Friday, new platform 💕

Personally I think satire is an important form of deprogramming! Mocking and marginalizing conspiracies often works better than debunking or debating them.

The frequency with which judges whine that the bar and the academy are falling down in some sort of purported duty to publicly defend them is really just something.

One of the changes I’m really trying to make (and I’m breaking yeeeears of habit here) is:

1) don’t post mad
2) don’t engage with people who are posting mad

Why did he put Jews in quotes...😮‍💨

I knew there must've been a gun in the car's middle compartment cuz he was smoking a cig, and it sorta looked like a blunt as he passed me going 67 MPH. Which was also RAS since that's 3 miles under. Who does that at 1pm with no traffic? And, and--he was two exits away from a high-crime neighborhood

And waiting for a verdict

Time never moves slower than the 2 hours between 3pm and 5pm on a Friday afternoon

POINT ME TOWARDS THE PDs YALL