Ancient Algebra #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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#CleanJokes
Latest posts tagged with #CleanJokes on Bluesky
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#Ukraine Conflict
#U.S. Foreign Policy
#F1
#Chinese Grand Prix
#SNL
#Venezuela Baseball
#AEW Collision
#Six Nations
#Newcastle United
#Arsenal vs Everton
Posts tagged #CleanJokes
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!" #jokefortoday #cleanjokes
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National Anthems #dadjokes #cleanjokes
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Batman #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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Healthy Ants 🐜 #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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Conjunctivitis #dadjokes #cleanjokes
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I was sitting on the sofa last night watching TV, when my wife from the bedroom yelled, "Do you ever get pains on the chest like someone's got a voodoo doll and they're stabbing it?" I replied, "No."
Then she asked, "How about now? #jokefortoday #cleanjokes #voodoo
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Quasimodo goes to a doctor for an annual checkup. "I think something is wrong with your back," the doctor says.
"What makes you think that?" asks Quasimodo.
"I don't know," the doctor replies. "It's just a hunch." #jokefortoday #cleanjokes #Quasimodo
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Battleship #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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Dating Advice #dadjokes #cleanjokes
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When Birds Fly South 🕊 #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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The Hipster #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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I phoned my wife earlier and asked her if she wanted me to pick up Fish and Chips on my way home from work but she just grunted at me...
I think she still regrets letting me name the twins! #jokefortoday #cleanjokes
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Sweeping Girls 👧 #dadjokes #cleanjokes
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Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks, "Where ya going boy?"
The son smiled and replied, "I'm a-going courting Peggy-Sue."
The Father said, "When I went a-courtin', I didn't need me no dang lantern."
"Sure Pa, I know." the boy said. "And look what you got !" #jokefortoday #cleanjokes
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After hearing a sermon about lies and deceit, a man wrote the IRS: "I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have reviewed my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $900.
If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest." #jokefortoday #cleanjokes #IRS
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Winter #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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Two policemen call the station on their radio.
"Hello. ..... Is this the Sarge?"
"Yes?"
"We have a case here, Sarge. A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet." #jokefortoday #cleanjokes
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HUSBAND: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
WIFE: I clean the toilet.
HUSBAND: How does that help?
WIFE: I use your toothbrush. #jokefortoday #cleanjokes
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A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today and in three months, I'll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?"
"In 3 months." #jokefortoday #cleanjokes
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Snow Plow Driver #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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Musical Instrument 🎼 🎵 #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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Fried Chicken 🍗 🐔 #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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Jack Frost's Money 💰 #dadjokes #cleanjokes
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A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge."
"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients." #jokefortoday #cleanjokes #dentists
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My Basketball 🏀 #dadjokes #cleanjokes
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Snowman Fear 😨 #cleanjokes #dadjokes
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Gregorian Monk #dadjokes #cleanjokes
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Cats 🐈 😻 #cleanjokes #dadjokes #Cats
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"Oh my goodness," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"
Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!" #jokefortoday #cleanjokes
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