Nothing makes a person feel alive like buying twelve plants you have no intention of watering consistently.
It’s time to start planting your seedlings—those little plants of hope rooted in balls of dirt and compost. Maybe this year the slugs will migrate to your neighbor’s yard and ignore your tomato and zucchini starts. Maybe this year your basil won’t die like it heard a rumor about you and took it personally. Maybe this year you won’t stand in your kitchen at midnight whispering, “Why did I buy cilantro again,” like it’s a confession.
Slug Forecast:
High. Always high. They are thriving. They have plans. They have little wet meetings at night where they assign targets. Leave them an offering in order to stay on their good side.
A snippet from The latest Fillmore News Spring Update 💙📚
open.substack.com/pub/gloryfin...
#smalltown #southernhumor #satire