Julia Carpenter: This is what happens when we let men write books
(Book page: "But she was, for the bathroom door didn't altogether close, due to the old frame of the house settling over the centuries, and she had to sit on the toilet some minutes waiting for the pee to come. Men, they were able to conjure it up immediately, that was one of their powers, that thunderous splashing as they stood lordly above the bowl. Everything about them was more direct, their insides weren't the maze women's were, for the pee to find its way through.")
Gwen Katz: Dude, if your date spends 15 minutes in the bathroom, it's not because it takes her that long to pee.
Michelle DuQuesnay: She's trying to squeeze through the bathroom window but when she realizes she forgot to put butter in her pockets, she returns to the table.
an elf: Is the butter to lubricate her passage through the window or for her breadsticks?
Michelle DuQuesnay: Honestly, probably both
Bernie Leinfelder: She's sexting a hotter guy
For the Twitterstorians on here, I am introducing something new: #ThreadThursday. Every Thursday, I invite you to come spelunking in Twitter's rotting corpse and save a thread that you participated in for posterity. (Don't all just screencap Dril! Pick something more obscure!) I'll start us off.