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Posts tagged #sortapicks

SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 weeks ago
The winner of Super Bowl LX... [Jeff Probst (pretend it's me with my Headcanon Taranza pfp) revealing the Seattle Seahawks as the newest pro football champs] (Cue the Patriots' torch getting snuffed like the 30 before it in the background. Also sorry I couldn't find a transparent wordmark PNG, but credit to SportsLogos.net for their logos.)

The winner of Super Bowl LX... [Jeff Probst (pretend it's me with my Headcanon Taranza pfp) revealing the Seattle Seahawks as the newest pro football champs] (Cue the Patriots' torch getting snuffed like the 30 before it in the background. Also sorry I couldn't find a transparent wordmark PNG, but credit to SportsLogos.net for their logos.)

*Seahawks-Patriots (✅): (First off, definitely the plan to wait until 12 days later to finish this for Seattle. I'm totally not just pure garbage at finishing these Super Bowl recaps in remotely timely fashion as I immediately shift into NASCAR mode! How could you possibly assume that?) Even as someone more tolerant of tense, defensive affairs than many, this was definitely one of the more forgettable Super Bowls in recent memory. But regardless, it was very clear who was ready for the moment and who wasn't. Darnold may not have been Warner on the big stage, but he was also fortunately far from Gannon. He made some nice plays in a few tough spots and overall did what he had to do to complete his redemption arc for the ages (and also in the process make Queens and Minneapolis both want to collectively vomit). Kenneth Walker also had a really solid night, although honestly, he kinda joins the Edelman and 2020 Brady category of guys who mostly won SB MVP because they can't just make it an 11-way tie, because holy hell, was that defense terrific. The Dark Side absolutely consumed New England's hopes all night long in ways that probably gave Foxborough some really rough flashbacks to 1985. That already pretty rough Pats O-line didn't just have absolutely no answers, they didn't even seem to be in the right class. And Drake Maye didn't exactly do much in this Mayeday situation to beat those soft-schedule allegations, although honestly, there's only so much you can blame him with how much he was getting pummeled. (Considering what ball security and distance he showed, maybe the Patriots should have rushed to sign Bad Bunny right before the second half. Fantastic show btw, and I don't even know Spanish.)

*Seahawks-Patriots (✅): (First off, definitely the plan to wait until 12 days later to finish this for Seattle. I'm totally not just pure garbage at finishing these Super Bowl recaps in remotely timely fashion as I immediately shift into NASCAR mode! How could you possibly assume that?) Even as someone more tolerant of tense, defensive affairs than many, this was definitely one of the more forgettable Super Bowls in recent memory. But regardless, it was very clear who was ready for the moment and who wasn't. Darnold may not have been Warner on the big stage, but he was also fortunately far from Gannon. He made some nice plays in a few tough spots and overall did what he had to do to complete his redemption arc for the ages (and also in the process make Queens and Minneapolis both want to collectively vomit). Kenneth Walker also had a really solid night, although honestly, he kinda joins the Edelman and 2020 Brady category of guys who mostly won SB MVP because they can't just make it an 11-way tie, because holy hell, was that defense terrific. The Dark Side absolutely consumed New England's hopes all night long in ways that probably gave Foxborough some really rough flashbacks to 1985. That already pretty rough Pats O-line didn't just have absolutely no answers, they didn't even seem to be in the right class. And Drake Maye didn't exactly do much in this Mayeday situation to beat those soft-schedule allegations, although honestly, there's only so much you can blame him with how much he was getting pummeled. (Considering what ball security and distance he showed, maybe the Patriots should have rushed to sign Bad Bunny right before the second half. Fantastic show btw, and I don't even know Spanish.)

Maye tried to make it interesting again in the 4th, but that defense wasn't letting off the gas, with Uchenna Nwosu joining the likes of Willie Brown, Derrick Brooks, and Tracy Porter in icing a Super Bowl with a pick-six (as all Super Bowls should end if they can't be close, in my humble opinion). 11 years after the Pats ripped the heart out of Seattle with their own pick that doomed the Legion of Boom, there was perhaps no better way for the Dark Side to officially confirm their revenge and exorcise over a decade of Emerald City demons. (Also big shoutout to stellar special teams nights from Michael Dickson and especially Jason Myers, who may have legitimately come closer than damn near any kicker ever to having a real case for Super Bowl MVP.) Mike Vrabel and company definitely have plenty to be proud of with this season and should have a lot to look forward to (although since it's the Patriots, I wish them luck in getting painted as the next great Cinderella run like it's 2001 again lol), but the Seattle Seahawks more than earned their 2nd championship in their 50th season. 12 years later, the 12s lit up the Emerald City night once again.

Maye tried to make it interesting again in the 4th, but that defense wasn't letting off the gas, with Uchenna Nwosu joining the likes of Willie Brown, Derrick Brooks, and Tracy Porter in icing a Super Bowl with a pick-six (as all Super Bowls should end if they can't be close, in my humble opinion). 11 years after the Pats ripped the heart out of Seattle with their own pick that doomed the Legion of Boom, there was perhaps no better way for the Dark Side to officially confirm their revenge and exorcise over a decade of Emerald City demons. (Also big shoutout to stellar special teams nights from Michael Dickson and especially Jason Myers, who may have legitimately come closer than damn near any kicker ever to having a real case for Super Bowl MVP.) Mike Vrabel and company definitely have plenty to be proud of with this season and should have a lot to look forward to (although since it's the Patriots, I wish them luck in getting painted as the next great Cinderella run like it's 2001 again lol), but the Seattle Seahawks more than earned their 2nd championship in their 50th season. 12 years later, the 12s lit up the Emerald City night once again.

Before I sign off for the next (roughly) 200/201 days (depending on how that whole Melbourne Week 1 game thing goes), I'd just like to say that even if I still barely get any views on these posts, I still just love making these so much and I really hope that those who have seen these have enjoyed my second season of SortaPicks (and first with a name). Of the four seasons I've watched the NFL, this one had to be my favorite with just how unpredictable and dramatic it was (even if it meant my actual picks weren't so good), not to mention one of the most all-around thrilling postseasons the league has seen in years (other than a pretty underwhelming finale, obviously). As much as I love NASCAR and all the other sports, I'm still gonna be missing the absurdity of the current NFL and especially making these picks the next 6 months. (Please don't blow it, UFL and rogue-less, soon-to-be-neutered CFL.) But until then, I'm Sorta and I'm sorry you had to read this. Take care of yourselves. Super Bowl LX Pick: 1/1, or 100% 2025/26 Final NFL Picks: 187.5/285 or 65.8% (4.4 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024/25) 2025 NFL Regular Season Picks: 179.5/272, or 66.0% (4.6 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024) 2025/26 NFL Playoffs Picks: 8/13, or 61.5% (exactly the same as 2024/25)

Before I sign off for the next (roughly) 200/201 days (depending on how that whole Melbourne Week 1 game thing goes), I'd just like to say that even if I still barely get any views on these posts, I still just love making these so much and I really hope that those who have seen these have enjoyed my second season of SortaPicks (and first with a name). Of the four seasons I've watched the NFL, this one had to be my favorite with just how unpredictable and dramatic it was (even if it meant my actual picks weren't so good), not to mention one of the most all-around thrilling postseasons the league has seen in years (other than a pretty underwhelming finale, obviously). As much as I love NASCAR and all the other sports, I'm still gonna be missing the absurdity of the current NFL and especially making these picks the next 6 months. (Please don't blow it, UFL and rogue-less, soon-to-be-neutered CFL.) But until then, I'm Sorta and I'm sorry you had to read this. Take care of yourselves. Super Bowl LX Pick: 1/1, or 100% 2025/26 Final NFL Picks: 187.5/285 or 65.8% (4.4 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024/25) 2025 NFL Regular Season Picks: 179.5/272, or 66.0% (4.6 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024) 2025/26 NFL Playoffs Picks: 8/13, or 61.5% (exactly the same as 2024/25)

SortaSports: SortaPicks' (late) 2025/26 NFL Super Bowl LX Recap (SortaPicks II Finale)
#nfl #nflrecap #recap #superbowl #superbowllx #superbowl60 #nflplayoffs #playoffs #sblx #sb60 #seahawks #seattleseahawks #sortasports #sortapicks

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
1 month ago
*Patriots-Broncos (❌): Well, Stidham tried his best. For like a quarter. But while Denver has plenty of reason to wonder "what if" over Nix's injury (or for that matter Sean Payton's idiocy on 4th down in the 1st quarter), I don't know if even 2013 Peyton Manning (definitely not 2015 Peyton) could have gotten Denver very far downfield in the 2nd half with that absolute blizzard (god bless the domeless stadiums/gen), as well as the Patriots defense. Boy, have we all slept on that New England defense for too long and the carrying they've had to do. Drake Maye has gotten rocked all postseason (although he at least made some huge plays on his feet), but the Pats defense has still been terrific enough to allow New England to secure a record-extending 12th Super Bowl berth. (For any of my fellow pre-Super Bowl pedantics, this is their 13th championship appearance when counting that 1963 AFL Championship shitshow to San Diego of all teams that made their humiliating Super Bowl XX cameo almost look like a nail-biter. Almost.) And goddamn, do I feel lucky to have not given a shit about football yet in the 2010s or I would be all-in on joining the salt bath lol. (I may be miserable over my team right now, but to flex about how we peaked 4 years ago, I'm just saying, Who else Dey think gonna win the AFC since prime Pokémon Go besides New England and Kansas City?)

*Patriots-Broncos (❌): Well, Stidham tried his best. For like a quarter. But while Denver has plenty of reason to wonder "what if" over Nix's injury (or for that matter Sean Payton's idiocy on 4th down in the 1st quarter), I don't know if even 2013 Peyton Manning (definitely not 2015 Peyton) could have gotten Denver very far downfield in the 2nd half with that absolute blizzard (god bless the domeless stadiums/gen), as well as the Patriots defense. Boy, have we all slept on that New England defense for too long and the carrying they've had to do. Drake Maye has gotten rocked all postseason (although he at least made some huge plays on his feet), but the Pats defense has still been terrific enough to allow New England to secure a record-extending 12th Super Bowl berth. (For any of my fellow pre-Super Bowl pedantics, this is their 13th championship appearance when counting that 1963 AFL Championship shitshow to San Diego of all teams that made their humiliating Super Bowl XX cameo almost look like a nail-biter. Almost.) And goddamn, do I feel lucky to have not given a shit about football yet in the 2010s or I would be all-in on joining the salt bath lol. (I may be miserable over my team right now, but to flex about how we peaked 4 years ago, I'm just saying, Who else Dey think gonna win the AFC since prime Pokémon Go besides New England and Kansas City?)

*Rams-Seahawks (✅): Few rivalries have had years as great recently as Rams-Seahawks in 2025. After two thrillers in the regular season, their rubber match lived up to the hype. It looked like a huge start for Seattle, but once the Rams locked in, we were in for a thriller. Stafford did all he could to keep Los Angeles's title hopes alive, but not only did the Rams' special teams continue to implode, but Sam Darnold showed his comeback in Week 16 wasn't a fluke and finally figured the Rams up. After playing catch-up all night, Stafford almost put the Rams over the top, but just couldn't thread the needle, and the zombie finally went down. The Rams showed their gutsiness even more than usual this entire season, but ultimately, it's the NFC's most complete team this year winning the Lamar Hunt Trophy, and the 12s are now hoping to end a 12-year title drought. And meanwhile Vikings and Jets fans can yet again have plenty to talk about while drowning out their suburbs over Sam Darnold going from yet another Jets bust to worth dumping for Mr. 9 to being a Super Bowl QB. The football gods really are cruel bastards, huh.

*Rams-Seahawks (✅): Few rivalries have had years as great recently as Rams-Seahawks in 2025. After two thrillers in the regular season, their rubber match lived up to the hype. It looked like a huge start for Seattle, but once the Rams locked in, we were in for a thriller. Stafford did all he could to keep Los Angeles's title hopes alive, but not only did the Rams' special teams continue to implode, but Sam Darnold showed his comeback in Week 16 wasn't a fluke and finally figured the Rams up. After playing catch-up all night, Stafford almost put the Rams over the top, but just couldn't thread the needle, and the zombie finally went down. The Rams showed their gutsiness even more than usual this entire season, but ultimately, it's the NFC's most complete team this year winning the Lamar Hunt Trophy, and the 12s are now hoping to end a 12-year title drought. And meanwhile Vikings and Jets fans can yet again have plenty to talk about while drowning out their suburbs over Sam Darnold going from yet another Jets bust to worth dumping for Mr. 9 to being a Super Bowl QB. The football gods really are cruel bastards, huh.

29th and 30th teams voted out and the final 2 members of our jury: Denver Broncos and Los Angeles Rams. The tribe has spoken. [2 more playoff torches and final 2 jury seats taken, Survivor-style] Congratulations, Patriots and Seahawks. You've gone as far as you can in this game. The power now shifts not to the jury of 12 you partially contributed to voting out (they're just there to squirm lol), but to your own skills. Two weeks from now, one more torch will be snuffed and one of you will join immortality. See you in Santa Clara. [Patriots and Seahawks sitting ready to play in their own Final Tribal Council in Santa Clara]

29th and 30th teams voted out and the final 2 members of our jury: Denver Broncos and Los Angeles Rams. The tribe has spoken. [2 more playoff torches and final 2 jury seats taken, Survivor-style] Congratulations, Patriots and Seahawks. You've gone as far as you can in this game. The power now shifts not to the jury of 12 you partially contributed to voting out (they're just there to squirm lol), but to your own skills. Two weeks from now, one more torch will be snuffed and one of you will join immortality. See you in Santa Clara. [Patriots and Seahawks sitting ready to play in their own Final Tribal Council in Santa Clara]

2025/26 NFL Conference Championship Picks: 1/2, or 50% 2025/26 NFL Playoff Picks so far (up to Conference Championships): 7/12, or 58.3% 2025/26 NFL Picks so far (Regular Season + Playoffs): 186.5/284, or 65.7% (4.7 points worse than 2024/25)

2025/26 NFL Conference Championship Picks: 1/2, or 50% 2025/26 NFL Playoff Picks so far (up to Conference Championships): 7/12, or 58.3% 2025/26 NFL Picks so far (Regular Season + Playoffs): 186.5/284, or 65.7% (4.7 points worse than 2024/25)

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025/26 NFL Conference Championship Round Recap
#nfl #nflrecap #nflplayoffs #playoffs #conferencechampionship #superbowl #superbowllx #superbowl60 #patriots #seahawks #sortasports #sortapicks

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
1 month ago
*AFC Championship Game - AFC2 Patriots @ AFC1 Broncos (Sunday at 3:00 pm Eastern on CBS and Paramount+): Bo Nix injuring his ankle literal moments before his first playoff win is an absolute shock, and Jarrett Stidham will have an uphill battle replacing him. But while this Denver defense had some struggles against Buffalo, they still got 4 picks off Josh Allen, and while Drake Maye's done enough to put the points on the board when needed to, this postseason has been far from a walk in the park for Drake Maye, who's now staring down his 3rd terrific defense in a row. As the last 2 weeks have proven though, this New England defense shouldn't be underestimated either. This feels like it will be an absolute defensive slugfest the likes of which we haven't seen this deep into a season in years, but in the end, I feel like the Broncos will do just enough to scrape out their 9th Lamar Hunt Trophy and return to the Super Bowl after a rough decade away for the Mile High Gang.

*AFC Championship Game - AFC2 Patriots @ AFC1 Broncos (Sunday at 3:00 pm Eastern on CBS and Paramount+): Bo Nix injuring his ankle literal moments before his first playoff win is an absolute shock, and Jarrett Stidham will have an uphill battle replacing him. But while this Denver defense had some struggles against Buffalo, they still got 4 picks off Josh Allen, and while Drake Maye's done enough to put the points on the board when needed to, this postseason has been far from a walk in the park for Drake Maye, who's now staring down his 3rd terrific defense in a row. As the last 2 weeks have proven though, this New England defense shouldn't be underestimated either. This feels like it will be an absolute defensive slugfest the likes of which we haven't seen this deep into a season in years, but in the end, I feel like the Broncos will do just enough to scrape out their 9th Lamar Hunt Trophy and return to the Super Bowl after a rough decade away for the Mile High Gang.

NFC Championship Game - NFC5 Rams @ NFC1 Seahawks (Sunday at 6:30 pm Eastern on Fox): Just the 6th division rivalry conference championship game post-realignment (funnily enough, half of them different NFC West matchups - sorry, Arizona), these feel like two very different teams. The Rams have had to scrape and claw for two straight dramatic road wins where they needed big plays on both sides of the ball to escape alive. Then there's the Seahawks, who after, already being the closest thing to a great team all year, made good use of their bye week by demolishing the 49ers last week (which also has them with the chance to join rare company of defeating multiple division rivals in the same postseason). This looks like Seattle's game to lose on paper, but I really feel like this Rams team, as they often tend to do, won't give up without a fight, especially since they know how to give Sam Darnold a hard time. This very rivalry gave us two of the most dramatic games of the regular season, and it feels fitting that after splitting those games, they'll go blow-for-blow to decide who survives to Santa Clara (funnily enough where one of their other rivals plays) and who will be the final team to come up painfully short of the big dance. In the end, though, I think the Seahawks ultimately gut out their 4th George Halas Trophy and their first Super Bowl berth in 11 years. With that said, best of luck, Darnold.

NFC Championship Game - NFC5 Rams @ NFC1 Seahawks (Sunday at 6:30 pm Eastern on Fox): Just the 6th division rivalry conference championship game post-realignment (funnily enough, half of them different NFC West matchups - sorry, Arizona), these feel like two very different teams. The Rams have had to scrape and claw for two straight dramatic road wins where they needed big plays on both sides of the ball to escape alive. Then there's the Seahawks, who after, already being the closest thing to a great team all year, made good use of their bye week by demolishing the 49ers last week (which also has them with the chance to join rare company of defeating multiple division rivals in the same postseason). This looks like Seattle's game to lose on paper, but I really feel like this Rams team, as they often tend to do, won't give up without a fight, especially since they know how to give Sam Darnold a hard time. This very rivalry gave us two of the most dramatic games of the regular season, and it feels fitting that after splitting those games, they'll go blow-for-blow to decide who survives to Santa Clara (funnily enough where one of their other rivals plays) and who will be the final team to come up painfully short of the big dance. In the end, though, I think the Seahawks ultimately gut out their 4th George Halas Trophy and their first Super Bowl berth in 11 years. With that said, best of luck, Darnold.

2025/26 Picks so far (up to Divisional): 185.5/282, or 65.8% 2024 Conference Championship Picks: 1/2, or 50% 2024 Picks (up to Conference Championship): 200/284, or 70.4%

2025/26 Picks so far (up to Divisional): 185.5/282, or 65.8% 2024 Conference Championship Picks: 1/2, or 50% 2024 Picks (up to Conference Championship): 200/284, or 70.4%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025/26 NFL Conference Championship Picks
#nfl #nflplayoffs #playoffs #conferencechampionship #nflconferencechampionship #sortasports #sortapicks

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
1 month ago
*Bills-Broncos (❌): The McDermott era (although shockingly not the Beane era) ended on a very fitting whimper. A game plagued with a perfect storm of super avoidable blunders and depressingly brutal bad breaks that only Buffalo could fall victim to. And in the case of the ultimate Schrödinger's Interception, both of the above at the same time. Fingers can and have been pointed over it (both by fans fuming at the refball and that useless owner seemingly trying to run the Bills and Sabres through the Freaky Friday simulator this year), but this team, despite having a very good shot at moving on, just wasn't clicking enough to overcome the odds. And unfortunately, not even Denver can celebrate their first playoff win in a long decade because Bo Nix's ankle got nixed at literally the 11th hour. So that means we'll have the potential for a Super Bowl between Jarrett Stidham and Sam Darnold, because how the hell else could this season possibly end? *49ers-Seahawks (✅): Respectable effort for San Fran to even get this far, but uhhh yeah, they were never getting out of Seattle in one piece. Rasheed Shaheed channeled his inner Percy Harvin on the opening kickoff and other than a little flicker in the 2nd, that was basically the story of the night. One of the biggest playoff bloodbaths in recent memory as Seattle left practically no remaining doubt that they more than earned this top seed. If this is the Seahawks' standard this postseason, well, somebody better have some body bags ready.

*Bills-Broncos (❌): The McDermott era (although shockingly not the Beane era) ended on a very fitting whimper. A game plagued with a perfect storm of super avoidable blunders and depressingly brutal bad breaks that only Buffalo could fall victim to. And in the case of the ultimate Schrödinger's Interception, both of the above at the same time. Fingers can and have been pointed over it (both by fans fuming at the refball and that useless owner seemingly trying to run the Bills and Sabres through the Freaky Friday simulator this year), but this team, despite having a very good shot at moving on, just wasn't clicking enough to overcome the odds. And unfortunately, not even Denver can celebrate their first playoff win in a long decade because Bo Nix's ankle got nixed at literally the 11th hour. So that means we'll have the potential for a Super Bowl between Jarrett Stidham and Sam Darnold, because how the hell else could this season possibly end? *49ers-Seahawks (✅): Respectable effort for San Fran to even get this far, but uhhh yeah, they were never getting out of Seattle in one piece. Rasheed Shaheed channeled his inner Percy Harvin on the opening kickoff and other than a little flicker in the 2nd, that was basically the story of the night. One of the biggest playoff bloodbaths in recent memory as Seattle left practically no remaining doubt that they more than earned this top seed. If this is the Seahawks' standard this postseason, well, somebody better have some body bags ready.

*Texans-Patriots (❌): Well, this was a depressing way to reveal that the 2000 Ravens would probably not win a Super Bowl in today's NFL. That defense played its heart out, but this offense is just in shambles, especially with Stroud. I wouldn't go as far as to say he's a lost cause, but between the crappy O-line, the dunce that is Nick Caley, and his stunted development as a whole, it genuinely feels like this organization is at a crossroads with C.J. Stroud, and DeMeco Ryans's increasingly apparent flaws as head coach (from keeping the beyond rattled Stroud in there to punting down by 2 scores with just minutes left in addition to the lackluster accountability for a couple years now) aren't helping. The Patriots didn't even need to do much here, and while the Texans now drop to 0-7 in Divisional history and remain the only team without so much as a cameo in the final 4, the Patriots are now back in the AFC Championship Game after a brutal 7-year drought. Long live the underdog. *Rams-Bears (❌): This looked for a moment like yet another Caleb Williams classic. A rollercoaster game culminating in McVay playing it too safe and a 4th-down play that went in seconds from brilliant D-line pressure to one of the greatest miracles in playoff history. But just when the Bears had a golden opportunity to go for the kill, the clock finally struck midnight on Caleb Williams and the Rams barely squeaked it out. It will definitely be interesting seeing how the Bears follow up on this unusual, yet thrilling season, but now the Rams will be returning to the House of Horrors for the ultimate rubber match.

*Texans-Patriots (❌): Well, this was a depressing way to reveal that the 2000 Ravens would probably not win a Super Bowl in today's NFL. That defense played its heart out, but this offense is just in shambles, especially with Stroud. I wouldn't go as far as to say he's a lost cause, but between the crappy O-line, the dunce that is Nick Caley, and his stunted development as a whole, it genuinely feels like this organization is at a crossroads with C.J. Stroud, and DeMeco Ryans's increasingly apparent flaws as head coach (from keeping the beyond rattled Stroud in there to punting down by 2 scores with just minutes left in addition to the lackluster accountability for a couple years now) aren't helping. The Patriots didn't even need to do much here, and while the Texans now drop to 0-7 in Divisional history and remain the only team without so much as a cameo in the final 4, the Patriots are now back in the AFC Championship Game after a brutal 7-year drought. Long live the underdog. *Rams-Bears (❌): This looked for a moment like yet another Caleb Williams classic. A rollercoaster game culminating in McVay playing it too safe and a 4th-down play that went in seconds from brilliant D-line pressure to one of the greatest miracles in playoff history. But just when the Bears had a golden opportunity to go for the kill, the clock finally struck midnight on Caleb Williams and the Rams barely squeaked it out. It will definitely be interesting seeing how the Bears follow up on this unusual, yet thrilling season, but now the Rams will be returning to the House of Horrors for the ultimate rubber match.

25th, 26th, 27th, and 28th teams voted out and the next 4 members of our jury: Buffalo Bills, San Francisco 49ers, Houston Texans, and Chicago Bears. The tribe has spoken. [4 more playoff torches snuffed Survivor-style, making for 4 more jury seats taken] 2025/26 Divisional Picks: 1/4, or 25% 2025/26 NFL Picks so far (up to Divisional): 185.5/282, or 65.8%

25th, 26th, 27th, and 28th teams voted out and the next 4 members of our jury: Buffalo Bills, San Francisco 49ers, Houston Texans, and Chicago Bears. The tribe has spoken. [4 more playoff torches snuffed Survivor-style, making for 4 more jury seats taken] 2025/26 Divisional Picks: 1/4, or 25% 2025/26 NFL Picks so far (up to Divisional): 185.5/282, or 65.8%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025/26 NFL Divisional Round Recap
#nfl #nflplayoffs #playoffs #divisional #nfldivisional #sortasports #sortapicks

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
1 month ago
*AFC6 Bills @ AFC1 Broncos (Saturday at 4:30 pm Eastern on CBS and Paramount+): Weird as this sounds for a matchup between the reigning MVP and the conference's top seed with a top-tier defense, this just strikes me as a pair of teams that sure don't act like they want even a Hunt Trophy, let alone a Lombardi Trophy. Buffalo though at least showed a lot of resilience against the same Jags team that shredded Denver on their own mountain not too long ago, whereas Denver not only has some rust against them, but will have to put a LOT of trust into the arm of Bo Nix, which isn't great when Buffalo's pass defense happens to be a lot better than their rush defense. These are both somewhat cardiac teams in for potentially a rough time in the final four regardless of opponent, but I just get the feeling the Bills will out-clutch the Broncos and return to the AFC Championship Game. *NFC6 49ers @ NFC1 Seahawks (Saturday at 8:00 pm Eastern on Fox): Seattle is in the weird state of feeling like both the clear elite team and also like far from the best top seed in recent years. We obviously know how hot and cold Sam Darnold can be, but with San Fran's already decimated defense getting even more trashed even when they won last week (plus the injury to Kittle, which they definitely can't afford against a defense as good as Seattle's), I feel like despite the Niners' best efforts, the Seahawks will ensure that Super Bowl LX remains a neutral-site affair.

*AFC6 Bills @ AFC1 Broncos (Saturday at 4:30 pm Eastern on CBS and Paramount+): Weird as this sounds for a matchup between the reigning MVP and the conference's top seed with a top-tier defense, this just strikes me as a pair of teams that sure don't act like they want even a Hunt Trophy, let alone a Lombardi Trophy. Buffalo though at least showed a lot of resilience against the same Jags team that shredded Denver on their own mountain not too long ago, whereas Denver not only has some rust against them, but will have to put a LOT of trust into the arm of Bo Nix, which isn't great when Buffalo's pass defense happens to be a lot better than their rush defense. These are both somewhat cardiac teams in for potentially a rough time in the final four regardless of opponent, but I just get the feeling the Bills will out-clutch the Broncos and return to the AFC Championship Game. *NFC6 49ers @ NFC1 Seahawks (Saturday at 8:00 pm Eastern on Fox): Seattle is in the weird state of feeling like both the clear elite team and also like far from the best top seed in recent years. We obviously know how hot and cold Sam Darnold can be, but with San Fran's already decimated defense getting even more trashed even when they won last week (plus the injury to Kittle, which they definitely can't afford against a defense as good as Seattle's), I feel like despite the Niners' best efforts, the Seahawks will ensure that Super Bowl LX remains a neutral-site affair.

*AFC5 Texans @ AFC2 Patriots (Sunday at 3:00 pm Eastern on ABC and ESPN): Two teams who snapped the streak of Wild Card barnburners by both killing it on defense and killing our wills to keep our eyeballs on offense. New England has had plenty to feel confident about this season, but they haven't faced a ton of great tests so far, and this Texans defense is one hell of a test. If anything, what's really complicating this pick for me is the Texans offense. Stroud was pretty sloppy in Pittsburgh last week (although I guess there's a chance that was just Tomlin using his final drops of devil magic), and with Patullo demoted, there's a damn good case to be made for Nick Caley as the worst OC in the league now. (Houston's sign in the offseason: "oc please steal we beg you") But while Houston isn't oozing with playoff experience to the degree of a Buffalo or San Francisco, they've been here two straight years and at least had a shot in both of those Divisional games for a bit, even if things fell apart down the stretch both times. It will be a tall task, but against this upstart Pats team, I think the Texans slug it out and finally make it to Conference Championship Weekend for the first time ever.

*AFC5 Texans @ AFC2 Patriots (Sunday at 3:00 pm Eastern on ABC and ESPN): Two teams who snapped the streak of Wild Card barnburners by both killing it on defense and killing our wills to keep our eyeballs on offense. New England has had plenty to feel confident about this season, but they haven't faced a ton of great tests so far, and this Texans defense is one hell of a test. If anything, what's really complicating this pick for me is the Texans offense. Stroud was pretty sloppy in Pittsburgh last week (although I guess there's a chance that was just Tomlin using his final drops of devil magic), and with Patullo demoted, there's a damn good case to be made for Nick Caley as the worst OC in the league now. (Houston's sign in the offseason: "oc please steal we beg you") But while Houston isn't oozing with playoff experience to the degree of a Buffalo or San Francisco, they've been here two straight years and at least had a shot in both of those Divisional games for a bit, even if things fell apart down the stretch both times. It will be a tall task, but against this upstart Pats team, I think the Texans slug it out and finally make it to Conference Championship Weekend for the first time ever.

NFC5 Rams @ NFC2 Bears (Sunday at 6:30 pm Eastern on NBC and Peacock): Had I been making this pick in November, I would have easily picked the high-powered Rams to make quick work of the wacky Bears. But in January, with the Bears hot off another shocking comeback and the Rams' flaws shining enough that they needed their own final drive and wild catch just to squeak past the strange reboot of the Cardiac Cats, these teams feel a lot closer together now than they did before. The Rams will certainly flash their talents at some points, but with their recent iffiness potentially only exacerbated by Stafford's hand injury in Charlotte and both Chicago's own clutch gene and home field advantage, I just get the feeling that the Bears will return to the final four for the first time in a decade and a half. (Please tell me all my swinging for the fences doesn't blow up in my face this week😭) 2025/26 NFL Picks so far (up to Wild Card): 184.5/278, or 66.4% 2024/25 Divisional Round Picks: 3/4, or 75% 2024/25 Picks (up to Divisional): 199/282, or 70.6%

NFC5 Rams @ NFC2 Bears (Sunday at 6:30 pm Eastern on NBC and Peacock): Had I been making this pick in November, I would have easily picked the high-powered Rams to make quick work of the wacky Bears. But in January, with the Bears hot off another shocking comeback and the Rams' flaws shining enough that they needed their own final drive and wild catch just to squeak past the strange reboot of the Cardiac Cats, these teams feel a lot closer together now than they did before. The Rams will certainly flash their talents at some points, but with their recent iffiness potentially only exacerbated by Stafford's hand injury in Charlotte and both Chicago's own clutch gene and home field advantage, I just get the feeling that the Bears will return to the final four for the first time in a decade and a half. (Please tell me all my swinging for the fences doesn't blow up in my face this week😭) 2025/26 NFL Picks so far (up to Wild Card): 184.5/278, or 66.4% 2024/25 Divisional Round Picks: 3/4, or 75% 2024/25 Picks (up to Divisional): 199/282, or 70.6%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025/26 NFL Divisional Weekend Picks
#nfl #nflpicks #picks #playoffs #nflplayoffs #divisional #nfldivisional #divisionalweekend #divisionalround #sortasports #sortapicks

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1 month ago

Forgot to add my own tags to this Wild Card Recap 😭
#sortapicks #sortasports

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2 months ago
SortaSports 2025-26 NFL Playoff Bracket: Wild Card Round: Patriots beat Chargers, Jaguars beat Bills, Texans beat Steelers, Bears beat Packers, 49ers beat Eagles, and Rams beat Panthers Divisional Round: Texans beat Broncos, Jaguars beat Patriots, Seahawks beat 49ers, and Rams beat Bears Conference Championship: Jaguars beat Texans for 1st AFC title and Seahawks beat Rams for 4th NFC title (first in 11 years) Super Bowl LX: Seahawks beat Jaguars for 2nd Super Bowl championship (first in 12 years) My "unofficial official" playoff bracket on profootballnetwork.com (To be clear, only my Wild Card picks this week count for my season-long total, just to avoid certain matchups not happening later.)

SortaSports 2025-26 NFL Playoff Bracket: Wild Card Round: Patriots beat Chargers, Jaguars beat Bills, Texans beat Steelers, Bears beat Packers, 49ers beat Eagles, and Rams beat Panthers Divisional Round: Texans beat Broncos, Jaguars beat Patriots, Seahawks beat 49ers, and Rams beat Bears Conference Championship: Jaguars beat Texans for 1st AFC title and Seahawks beat Rams for 4th NFC title (first in 11 years) Super Bowl LX: Seahawks beat Jaguars for 2nd Super Bowl championship (first in 12 years) My "unofficial official" playoff bracket on profootballnetwork.com (To be clear, only my Wild Card picks this week count for my season-long total, just to avoid certain matchups not happening later.)

*NFC5 Rams @ NFC4 Panthers (Saturday at 4:30 pm Eastern on Fox): Look, I'd love to see Carolina pull a 2010 Seahawks and parlay their fluky playoff berth into a remarkable upset, and I'd probably be more tempted to shoot for the upset if they showed any momentum at all lately against anyone besides the imploding Buccaneers. But like, they literally needed a duel between two long-dead teams and a three-way tiebreaker just to make it here, and while Los Angeles doesn't look quite as mighty as they did a month ago (and also lost in Charlotte not too long ago), the Rams definitely look ready to make up for all that and get another strong run going. (Although at the very least, stranger upsets have happened. Maybe.) *NFC7 Packers @ NFC2 Bears (Saturday at 8:00 pm Eastern on Amazon Prime Video and Twitch): This is a strange pairing because both of these teams haven't exactly saved their best stuff for the finish. Chicago has played two more close, clutch games these last two weeks, but ultimately fell short, with different sides of the ball ultimately folding in the end. But they look red-hot compared to the Packers, who have been a shell of themselves recently in every way. A slugfest wouldn't shock me, but I definitely see the Bears winning the rubber match and moving on for the first time in 15 years. *AFC6 Bills @ AFC3 Jaguars (Sunday at 1:00 pm Eastern on CBS and Paramount+): It's just so Buffalo for Allen's Bills to be at their most underwhelming at the exact moment that they finally no longer have Mahomes, Lamar, or Burrow in their way. Allen and James Cook will try their damnest, but with how much more well-rounded Jacksonville is (especially defensively), I see the Jaguars coming out on top to end Buffalo's season yet again.

*NFC5 Rams @ NFC4 Panthers (Saturday at 4:30 pm Eastern on Fox): Look, I'd love to see Carolina pull a 2010 Seahawks and parlay their fluky playoff berth into a remarkable upset, and I'd probably be more tempted to shoot for the upset if they showed any momentum at all lately against anyone besides the imploding Buccaneers. But like, they literally needed a duel between two long-dead teams and a three-way tiebreaker just to make it here, and while Los Angeles doesn't look quite as mighty as they did a month ago (and also lost in Charlotte not too long ago), the Rams definitely look ready to make up for all that and get another strong run going. (Although at the very least, stranger upsets have happened. Maybe.) *NFC7 Packers @ NFC2 Bears (Saturday at 8:00 pm Eastern on Amazon Prime Video and Twitch): This is a strange pairing because both of these teams haven't exactly saved their best stuff for the finish. Chicago has played two more close, clutch games these last two weeks, but ultimately fell short, with different sides of the ball ultimately folding in the end. But they look red-hot compared to the Packers, who have been a shell of themselves recently in every way. A slugfest wouldn't shock me, but I definitely see the Bears winning the rubber match and moving on for the first time in 15 years. *AFC6 Bills @ AFC3 Jaguars (Sunday at 1:00 pm Eastern on CBS and Paramount+): It's just so Buffalo for Allen's Bills to be at their most underwhelming at the exact moment that they finally no longer have Mahomes, Lamar, or Burrow in their way. Allen and James Cook will try their damnest, but with how much more well-rounded Jacksonville is (especially defensively), I see the Jaguars coming out on top to end Buffalo's season yet again.

*NFC6 49ers @ NFC3 Eagles (Sunday at 4:30 pm Eastern on Fox): As odd as this may sound, this has all the makings of one ugly game. In one corner, an uber-talented team that just so happens to have so much of that talent injured that they probably can't even fit them all on either the sidelines or the press boxes anymore. In the other corner, an uber-talented team with a terrific defense and an offense being put through a wood chipper by two of the biggest hacks to ever have so much power over a defending Super Bowl champion. San Fran certainly had it rough last week, but with how frail Philly looks, the 49ers look ready to chase the dysfunctional Eagles into the tunnel and at least one of their embarrassing coaches into the severance line. *AFC7 Chargers @ AFC2 Patriots (Sunday at 8:00 pm Eastern on NBC and Peacock): There are bigger underdogs and the Chargers on paper look like they have the talent to at least do some damage, but they've just been too shaken up and had too many O-line issues to give me much confidence. And while their rather soft schedule should give some more people pause for later rounds, I think the Patriots coast past the Chargers (never heard of that one before) to get their first non-Brady/Belichick playoff win since the N64 years. *AFC5 Texans @ AFC4 Steelers (Monday at 8:00 pm Eastern on ABC and ESPN): Please stop the bullshit, Texans. Please stop the bullshit, Texans. Please stop the bullshit, Texans. 2025 Regular Season Picks: 179.5/272, or 66.0% 2024 Wild Card Round Picks: 4/6, or 66.7% 2024 Picks (up to Wild Card): 196/278, or 70.5%

*NFC6 49ers @ NFC3 Eagles (Sunday at 4:30 pm Eastern on Fox): As odd as this may sound, this has all the makings of one ugly game. In one corner, an uber-talented team that just so happens to have so much of that talent injured that they probably can't even fit them all on either the sidelines or the press boxes anymore. In the other corner, an uber-talented team with a terrific defense and an offense being put through a wood chipper by two of the biggest hacks to ever have so much power over a defending Super Bowl champion. San Fran certainly had it rough last week, but with how frail Philly looks, the 49ers look ready to chase the dysfunctional Eagles into the tunnel and at least one of their embarrassing coaches into the severance line. *AFC7 Chargers @ AFC2 Patriots (Sunday at 8:00 pm Eastern on NBC and Peacock): There are bigger underdogs and the Chargers on paper look like they have the talent to at least do some damage, but they've just been too shaken up and had too many O-line issues to give me much confidence. And while their rather soft schedule should give some more people pause for later rounds, I think the Patriots coast past the Chargers (never heard of that one before) to get their first non-Brady/Belichick playoff win since the N64 years. *AFC5 Texans @ AFC4 Steelers (Monday at 8:00 pm Eastern on ABC and ESPN): Please stop the bullshit, Texans. Please stop the bullshit, Texans. Please stop the bullshit, Texans. 2025 Regular Season Picks: 179.5/272, or 66.0% 2024 Wild Card Round Picks: 4/6, or 66.7% 2024 Picks (up to Wild Card): 196/278, or 70.5%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025-26 NFL Super Wild Card Weekend Picks (+ Playoff Bracket)
#nfl #nflplayoffs #playoffs #wildcard #nflwildcard #wildcardweekend #sortapicks #sortasports

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2 months ago
*Panthers-Buccaneers (❌): I've half-jokingly thought for a while that if Carolina made the dance, they'd be the type of team to either completely flame out in the Wild Card round or make an amazing Cinderella run to the NFC Championship only to lose in gut-wrenching fashion 2017 Jaguars-style. After these last two games, even I'm leaning a lot more on the latter. (Also good on the Buccs for at least sending the great Gene Deckerhoff out on a high note in spite of it being too little, too late.) *Seahawks-49ers (✅): Man, San Fran really could have used that bye week with how they locked down yet another Injury Bowl crown in this game. *Packers-Vikings (✅): I know it's a backup game, but wow, this team just looks all out of energy in every way. Minnesota certainly didn't mind slamming what little momentum they had even more into a brick wall, especially with a chance to somehow salvage a winning record out of such an exhausting season. *Browns-Bengals (❌): Yes, this franchise absolutely deserved to have Myles Garrett break the sack record against them. Yes, it is absolutely in-character to not change a damn thing and basically guarantee we'll have a new top 5 pick to ruin in 2027. *Colts-Texans (✅): Exactly as painful as the end to this Colts season was only ever going to be. *Cowboys-Giants (❌): One of the weirdest 4-win teams in recent memory for sure. *Saints-Falcons (✅): A historic indirect division title match like this was really the only way the NFC South was gonna end. And sure enough, perhaps as a long-delayed apology for killing Carolina's undefeated season hopes a decade ago, Atlanta decided to close out their own farce of a front office and coaching era by gifting the Cardiac Cats II their first division title since that 2015 season. The Meow Mix Sacrifice is complete.

*Panthers-Buccaneers (❌): I've half-jokingly thought for a while that if Carolina made the dance, they'd be the type of team to either completely flame out in the Wild Card round or make an amazing Cinderella run to the NFC Championship only to lose in gut-wrenching fashion 2017 Jaguars-style. After these last two games, even I'm leaning a lot more on the latter. (Also good on the Buccs for at least sending the great Gene Deckerhoff out on a high note in spite of it being too little, too late.) *Seahawks-49ers (✅): Man, San Fran really could have used that bye week with how they locked down yet another Injury Bowl crown in this game. *Packers-Vikings (✅): I know it's a backup game, but wow, this team just looks all out of energy in every way. Minnesota certainly didn't mind slamming what little momentum they had even more into a brick wall, especially with a chance to somehow salvage a winning record out of such an exhausting season. *Browns-Bengals (❌): Yes, this franchise absolutely deserved to have Myles Garrett break the sack record against them. Yes, it is absolutely in-character to not change a damn thing and basically guarantee we'll have a new top 5 pick to ruin in 2027. *Colts-Texans (✅): Exactly as painful as the end to this Colts season was only ever going to be. *Cowboys-Giants (❌): One of the weirdest 4-win teams in recent memory for sure. *Saints-Falcons (✅): A historic indirect division title match like this was really the only way the NFC South was gonna end. And sure enough, perhaps as a long-delayed apology for killing Carolina's undefeated season hopes a decade ago, Atlanta decided to close out their own farce of a front office and coaching era by gifting the Cardiac Cats II their first division title since that 2015 season. The Meow Mix Sacrifice is complete.

*Titans-Jaguars (✅): For the first time frankly all century, you can genuinely say that nobody wants to enter Duval in January. (And meanwhile Cam Ward is now in danger of getting ruined even more by Matt Nagy. Woof.) *Chargers-Broncos (✅): Yeah, I regret to admit that the Trey Lance Sympathizers have not had much to celebrate lately. *Chiefs-Raiders (❌): For the second time in 3 years, the Chiefs ended their season in Vegas. Unlike 2023, instead of an epic Super Bowl victory to confirm a dynasty, it's them ending a 6-win season by allowing the Tank Bowl champion Raiders to beat them with the same type of wacky drive they've won with a million times during a dynasty that could be crumbling beneath them. And meanwhile in what could be a kinda sad ending for two great head coaches, it's Pete Carroll who ends the season with a potentially chewed up Hall of Fame case and likely his career as many Tank Bowl crowns as Super Bowl crowns (would have been one less Tank title if he just, y'know, anray ethay allbay), but at least goes out with an ugly, UGLY win, I guess. *Jets-Bills (✅): The Jets ending their schedule against Mitch Trubisky and still not recording a single interception all year (and in fact getting sliced and diced by him) honestly sounds about right. *Commanders-Eagles (❌): Turning down the chance to host a checked-out Packers team in favor of benching everyone, getting embarrassed by Josh Johnson's potential last gasp, and having to face a team from a historically great NFC West is definitely a Nick Sirianni kind of decision. *Dolphins-Patriots (✅): To waste seasons, you have to waste the season. (EDIT: To earn pink slips, you have to earn the pink slip.) *Cardinals-Rams (✅): The Rams went from pre-Seattle to post-Seattle and right back to pre-Seattle in the 3rd quarter alone against this flaming trainwreck of a franchise, so really, who knows which side of them we'll see in the next few weeks?

*Titans-Jaguars (✅): For the first time frankly all century, you can genuinely say that nobody wants to enter Duval in January. (And meanwhile Cam Ward is now in danger of getting ruined even more by Matt Nagy. Woof.) *Chargers-Broncos (✅): Yeah, I regret to admit that the Trey Lance Sympathizers have not had much to celebrate lately. *Chiefs-Raiders (❌): For the second time in 3 years, the Chiefs ended their season in Vegas. Unlike 2023, instead of an epic Super Bowl victory to confirm a dynasty, it's them ending a 6-win season by allowing the Tank Bowl champion Raiders to beat them with the same type of wacky drive they've won with a million times during a dynasty that could be crumbling beneath them. And meanwhile in what could be a kinda sad ending for two great head coaches, it's Pete Carroll who ends the season with a potentially chewed up Hall of Fame case and likely his career as many Tank Bowl crowns as Super Bowl crowns (would have been one less Tank title if he just, y'know, anray ethay allbay), but at least goes out with an ugly, UGLY win, I guess. *Jets-Bills (✅): The Jets ending their schedule against Mitch Trubisky and still not recording a single interception all year (and in fact getting sliced and diced by him) honestly sounds about right. *Commanders-Eagles (❌): Turning down the chance to host a checked-out Packers team in favor of benching everyone, getting embarrassed by Josh Johnson's potential last gasp, and having to face a team from a historically great NFC West is definitely a Nick Sirianni kind of decision. *Dolphins-Patriots (✅): To waste seasons, you have to waste the season. (EDIT: To earn pink slips, you have to earn the pink slip.) *Cardinals-Rams (✅): The Rams went from pre-Seattle to post-Seattle and right back to pre-Seattle in the 3rd quarter alone against this flaming trainwreck of a franchise, so really, who knows which side of them we'll see in the next few weeks?

*Lions-Bears (❌): Funny how the NFC North is just the 2nd division in the last 90 years (or more specifically the last 3 years) to have everyone finish with winning records, and yet not only do all look at least a little fraudulent, but two of them still felt like the season was a disaster. (As a Bengals fan still kinda bitter about 2023, join the club. I've got jackets.) *Ravens-Steelers (❌): Damn, Baltimore literally repeated 2011 in two parts spread across two years. First Marc Andrews becomes the new Lee Evans, and now Tyler Loop becomes the new Billy Cundiff. Some serious soul-searching may be in store for Baltimore (EDIT: Huh, they actually did some soul-cleaning indeed), and meanwhile, the same old bullshit for the Steelers (now reaching literally biblical levels) because the football gods are just plain trolls sometimes.

*Lions-Bears (❌): Funny how the NFC North is just the 2nd division in the last 90 years (or more specifically the last 3 years) to have everyone finish with winning records, and yet not only do all look at least a little fraudulent, but two of them still felt like the season was a disaster. (As a Bengals fan still kinda bitter about 2023, join the club. I've got jackets.) *Ravens-Steelers (❌): Damn, Baltimore literally repeated 2011 in two parts spread across two years. First Marc Andrews becomes the new Lee Evans, and now Tyler Loop becomes the new Billy Cundiff. Some serious soul-searching may be in store for Baltimore (EDIT: Huh, they actually did some soul-cleaning indeed), and meanwhile, the same old bullshit for the Steelers (now reaching literally biblical levels) because the football gods are just plain trolls sometimes.

The 17th and 18th teams voted out and the final ones to miss the 2025 NFL Playoffs: Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baltimore Ravens. The tribe has spoken. [the final 2 torch snuffings of the regular season, Survivor style] Meanwhile, the 13th and 14th teams to win immunity into and complete the 2025 NFL Playoffs: Carolina Panthers and [insert audible barfing] Pittsburgh Steelers! Come on over! [the final 2 immunity necklaces awarded] 2025 Week 18 Picks: 9/16, or 56.3% 2025 Regular Season Picks: 179.5/272, or 66.0% (4.6 percentage points worse than 2024) 2024 Regular Season Picks: 192/272, or 70.6%

The 17th and 18th teams voted out and the final ones to miss the 2025 NFL Playoffs: Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baltimore Ravens. The tribe has spoken. [the final 2 torch snuffings of the regular season, Survivor style] Meanwhile, the 13th and 14th teams to win immunity into and complete the 2025 NFL Playoffs: Carolina Panthers and [insert audible barfing] Pittsburgh Steelers! Come on over! [the final 2 immunity necklaces awarded] 2025 Week 18 Picks: 9/16, or 56.3% 2025 Regular Season Picks: 179.5/272, or 66.0% (4.6 percentage points worse than 2024) 2024 Regular Season Picks: 192/272, or 70.6%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 18 Recap (2nd Regular Season Finale!)
#nfl #picks #nflpicks #week18 #nflweek18 #sortasports #sortapicks

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2 months ago
*Panthers-Buccaneers (Saturday ABC/ESPN A): Panthers *Seahawks-49ers (Saturday ABC/ESPN B): Seahawks *Packers-Vikings: Vikings *Browns-Bengals: Bengals (Burrow will likely be Myles's 23rd sack and Taylor will keep his job another 3 years fml) *Colts-Texans: Texans *Cowboys-Giants: Cowboys *Saints-Falcons: Falcons *Titans-Jaguars: Jaguars *Chargers-Broncos: Broncos *Chiefs-Raiders: Chiefs *Jets-Bills: Bills *Commanders-Eagles: Eagles *Dolphins-Patriots: Patriots *Cardinals-Rams: Rams *Lions-Bears: Bears *Ravens-Steelers (SNF): Ravens On the doorstep to immunity (12/14 in already): Buccaneers, Panthers, Ravens, and Steelers On the chopping block (16/18 out already): Buccaneers, Panthers, Ravens, and Steelers 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-17): 170.5/256, or a fittingly cursed 66.6% 2024 Week 18 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5%

*Panthers-Buccaneers (Saturday ABC/ESPN A): Panthers *Seahawks-49ers (Saturday ABC/ESPN B): Seahawks *Packers-Vikings: Vikings *Browns-Bengals: Bengals (Burrow will likely be Myles's 23rd sack and Taylor will keep his job another 3 years fml) *Colts-Texans: Texans *Cowboys-Giants: Cowboys *Saints-Falcons: Falcons *Titans-Jaguars: Jaguars *Chargers-Broncos: Broncos *Chiefs-Raiders: Chiefs *Jets-Bills: Bills *Commanders-Eagles: Eagles *Dolphins-Patriots: Patriots *Cardinals-Rams: Rams *Lions-Bears: Bears *Ravens-Steelers (SNF): Ravens On the doorstep to immunity (12/14 in already): Buccaneers, Panthers, Ravens, and Steelers On the chopping block (16/18 out already): Buccaneers, Panthers, Ravens, and Steelers 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-17): 170.5/256, or a fittingly cursed 66.6% 2024 Week 18 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 18 Picks/Predictions (Regular Season Finale!) #nfl #nflweek17 #week17 #sortasports #sortapicks

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2 months ago
*Cowboys-Commanders (✅): Netflix at least got a fun game, but one that meant nothing other than giving Josh Johnson at least one more moment in the backup spotlight. *Lions-Vikings (❌): The kind of awful performance that makes one wonder if a team's best days are no longer ahead of them, but behind them. *Broncos-Chiefs (✅): The Broncos barely squeaking by a Chiefs team this decimated is honestly a really rough sign. *Texans-Chargers (❌): I feel like I know even less about these teams now, and I don't mean that in a super positive way for either of them, although especially not for the Bolts. *Ravens-Packers (❌): Oh hey, Harbaugh finally remembered to use King Henry! Only took your season being on the brink! *Steelers-Browns (❌): We are just so damn close to the funniest possible finish for this joke of a division. *Seahawks-Panthers (✅): I mean, let's be honest, there was no way this division wasn't coming down to a Week 18 Super Battle of Mid. *Saints-Titans (✅): A classic fun game that doesn't mean a damn thing. *Patriots-Jets (✅): Nothing like the Jets and maintaining narratives of misery against New England. *Buccaneers-Dolphins (❌): Tampa is fucking lucky that Seattle gave them a Get Out of Jail Free card. *Jaguars-Colts (✅): Well, that's a fittingly sad way to end both Rivers' wonderfully weird career and Indy's weirdly woeful collapse of legend. *Cardinals-Bengals (✅): So we're definitely keeping Zac Taylor because of Burrow carving up broken franchises, huh? Yippeeeeeee. *Giants-Raiders (✅): A convincing way for Vegas to close in on Tank Bowl glory.

*Cowboys-Commanders (✅): Netflix at least got a fun game, but one that meant nothing other than giving Josh Johnson at least one more moment in the backup spotlight. *Lions-Vikings (❌): The kind of awful performance that makes one wonder if a team's best days are no longer ahead of them, but behind them. *Broncos-Chiefs (✅): The Broncos barely squeaking by a Chiefs team this decimated is honestly a really rough sign. *Texans-Chargers (❌): I feel like I know even less about these teams now, and I don't mean that in a super positive way for either of them, although especially not for the Bolts. *Ravens-Packers (❌): Oh hey, Harbaugh finally remembered to use King Henry! Only took your season being on the brink! *Steelers-Browns (❌): We are just so damn close to the funniest possible finish for this joke of a division. *Seahawks-Panthers (✅): I mean, let's be honest, there was no way this division wasn't coming down to a Week 18 Super Battle of Mid. *Saints-Titans (✅): A classic fun game that doesn't mean a damn thing. *Patriots-Jets (✅): Nothing like the Jets and maintaining narratives of misery against New England. *Buccaneers-Dolphins (❌): Tampa is fucking lucky that Seattle gave them a Get Out of Jail Free card. *Jaguars-Colts (✅): Well, that's a fittingly sad way to end both Rivers' wonderfully weird career and Indy's weirdly woeful collapse of legend. *Cardinals-Bengals (✅): So we're definitely keeping Zac Taylor because of Burrow carving up broken franchises, huh? Yippeeeeeee. *Giants-Raiders (✅): A convincing way for Vegas to close in on Tank Bowl glory.

*Eagles-Bills (❌): Yeah, the Eagles are so getting fucking pantsed by the NFC West bronze medalist. *Bears-49ers (✅): A Sunday Night instant classic where Chicago's late-game magic finally slipped up. Now we'll have to see if that magic wasn't wiped out for good by that finish. *Rams-Falcons (❌): You know the football gods are just done with Tampa right now when they're letting the goddamn Falcons win games where they blow big leads.

*Eagles-Bills (❌): Yeah, the Eagles are so getting fucking pantsed by the NFC West bronze medalist. *Bears-49ers (✅): A Sunday Night instant classic where Chicago's late-game magic finally slipped up. Now we'll have to see if that magic wasn't wiped out for good by that finish. *Rams-Falcons (❌): You know the football gods are just done with Tampa right now when they're letting the goddamn Falcons win games where they blow big leads.

15th and 16th teams voted out: Detroit Lions and Indianapolis Colts. The tribe has spoken. [2 more playoff torches snuffed, Survivor style] Buccaneers and Ravens, your torches remain alight for at least one more week. Next week is the chance, boys! 11th and 12th teams to win immunity into the 2025 NFL Playoffs: Green Bay Packers and Houston Texans! Come on over! [2 more playoff immunity necklaces awarded] Panthers and Steelers, you'll have to wait at least one more week for immunity. No more wiggle room, boys!

15th and 16th teams voted out: Detroit Lions and Indianapolis Colts. The tribe has spoken. [2 more playoff torches snuffed, Survivor style] Buccaneers and Ravens, your torches remain alight for at least one more week. Next week is the chance, boys! 11th and 12th teams to win immunity into the 2025 NFL Playoffs: Green Bay Packers and Houston Texans! Come on over! [2 more playoff immunity necklaces awarded] Panthers and Steelers, you'll have to wait at least one more week for immunity. No more wiggle room, boys!

2025 Week 17 Picks: 9/16, or 56.3% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-17): 170.5/256, or a fittingly cursed 66.6%

2025 Week 17 Picks: 9/16, or 56.3% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-17): 170.5/256, or a fittingly cursed 66.6%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 17 Recap #nfl #nflweek17 #week17 #picks #sortasports #sortapicks

0 0 0 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
2 months ago
*Cowboys-Commanders (Christmas Netflix A): Cowboys *Lions-Vikings (Christmas Netflix B): Lions *Broncos-Chiefs (Christmas/TNF): Broncos *Texans-Chargers (Saturday Showdown NFLN): Chargers *Ravens-Packers (Saturday Showdown Peacock): Packers *Steelers-Browns: Steelers *Seahawks-Panthers: Seahawks *Saints-Titans: Saints *Patriots-Jets: Patriots *Buccaneers-Dolphins: Buccaneers *Jaguars-Colts: Jaguars *Cardinals-Bengals: Bengals (I'm too broken to even be salty if this also blows up in my face like the only other time this year I've picked Cincy. If anything, I'm hoping we bottle enough to get some rebuilding going.) *Giants-Raiders: Giants *Eagles-Bills (National Fox): Bills *Bears-49ers (SNF): 49ers *Rams-Falcons (MNF ESPN): Rams On the doorstep to immunity (10/14 in already): Packers, Panthers, Steelers, and Texans On the chopping block (14/18 out already): Buccaneers, Colts, Lions, and Ravens (more info on nflplayoffscenarios.com) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-16): 161.5/240, or 67.3% 2024 Week 17 Picks: 13/16, or 81.3%

*Cowboys-Commanders (Christmas Netflix A): Cowboys *Lions-Vikings (Christmas Netflix B): Lions *Broncos-Chiefs (Christmas/TNF): Broncos *Texans-Chargers (Saturday Showdown NFLN): Chargers *Ravens-Packers (Saturday Showdown Peacock): Packers *Steelers-Browns: Steelers *Seahawks-Panthers: Seahawks *Saints-Titans: Saints *Patriots-Jets: Patriots *Buccaneers-Dolphins: Buccaneers *Jaguars-Colts: Jaguars *Cardinals-Bengals: Bengals (I'm too broken to even be salty if this also blows up in my face like the only other time this year I've picked Cincy. If anything, I'm hoping we bottle enough to get some rebuilding going.) *Giants-Raiders: Giants *Eagles-Bills (National Fox): Bills *Bears-49ers (SNF): 49ers *Rams-Falcons (MNF ESPN): Rams On the doorstep to immunity (10/14 in already): Packers, Panthers, Steelers, and Texans On the chopping block (14/18 out already): Buccaneers, Colts, Lions, and Ravens (more info on nflplayoffscenarios.com) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-16): 161.5/240, or 67.3% 2024 Week 17 Picks: 13/16, or 81.3%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 17 Picks/Predictions #nfl #nflpicks #picks #week17 #nflweek17 #sortapicks #sortasports

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
2 months ago
*Rams-Seahawks (✅): The second time on TNF this year that the Seahawks literally discover a brand new (rule change-induced) way to win an NFL game against a division rival. This time, the first ever walk-off 2-point conversion (I think). And wow, what a way to come from behind and go from looking like frauds to at least on the cusp of the top seed. (And hey, Nacua didn't go for any hospital passes that night, but at least he showed even more dumbassery after the game that thankfully didn't involve any more anti-Semitism!) *Eagles-Commanders (✅): Congrats, Philly. You've won the division basically by default against the underbelly of the league. Now prove that it wasn't just feasting off basement dwellers, or else you're gonna be in for a rude awakening in a couple of weeks. *Packers-Bears (✅): It's crazy how this is literally not too far from how Green Bay used to win against Chicago just a few years ago. But these aren't those Bears, and while we can't quite know if the Bears are for real, it sure feels easier to assume who's anything but now. (Also I think it's officially time for this country to stop sleeping on Kevin Burkhardt.) *Chargers-Cowboys (✅): Again, nice little run you had there, Dallas, but it wasn't gonna last against teams like the Chargers. *Buccaneers-Panthers (✅): Honestly, even if they cock up the momentum and miss the dance, I really hope this Panthers team is immortalized as one of the defining teams of this season in retrospect, if for no other reason than perfectly demonstrating how freaking drunk this year has been. *Vikings-Giants (✅): McCarthy and the Vikings eeking out a run to salvage a .500 record only after any playoff hopes were long set ablaze would be easily one of the funniest potential outcomes of almost any other season, but in this season, I don't know if it'd even hit the podium.

*Rams-Seahawks (✅): The second time on TNF this year that the Seahawks literally discover a brand new (rule change-induced) way to win an NFL game against a division rival. This time, the first ever walk-off 2-point conversion (I think). And wow, what a way to come from behind and go from looking like frauds to at least on the cusp of the top seed. (And hey, Nacua didn't go for any hospital passes that night, but at least he showed even more dumbassery after the game that thankfully didn't involve any more anti-Semitism!) *Eagles-Commanders (✅): Congrats, Philly. You've won the division basically by default against the underbelly of the league. Now prove that it wasn't just feasting off basement dwellers, or else you're gonna be in for a rude awakening in a couple of weeks. *Packers-Bears (✅): It's crazy how this is literally not too far from how Green Bay used to win against Chicago just a few years ago. But these aren't those Bears, and while we can't quite know if the Bears are for real, it sure feels easier to assume who's anything but now. (Also I think it's officially time for this country to stop sleeping on Kevin Burkhardt.) *Chargers-Cowboys (✅): Again, nice little run you had there, Dallas, but it wasn't gonna last against teams like the Chargers. *Buccaneers-Panthers (✅): Honestly, even if they cock up the momentum and miss the dance, I really hope this Panthers team is immortalized as one of the defining teams of this season in retrospect, if for no other reason than perfectly demonstrating how freaking drunk this year has been. *Vikings-Giants (✅): McCarthy and the Vikings eeking out a run to salvage a .500 record only after any playoff hopes were long set ablaze would be easily one of the funniest potential outcomes of almost any other season, but in this season, I don't know if it'd even hit the podium.

*Bills-Browns (✅): I think Twitter probably would have (deservedly) torched itself to the ground if Shedeur happened to have the distinction of being Myles Garret's 23rd sack. *Chiefs-Titans (❌): Wyandotte World: Fallen Kingdom (or alternatively, insert your favorite CaptainSparklez jokes) *Bengals-Dolphins (❌): Yay, we finally had a good convincing win again that means absolutely nothing besides potentially being enough to bail Taylor and Tobin out of well-earned pink slips for yet another year. Yippee. *Jets-Saints (✅): The March to Mendoza continues! *Jaguars-Broncos (❌): I know I'm taking the L on this pick in the end, but frankly, was something like this really a shock for Denver? *Falcons-Cardinals (✅): I'm genuinely starting to wonder if the Cardinals have had more one-score bottlings this year than seasons since ditching Chicago back during the Eisenhower administration where they've provided the NFL much of anything besides mediocrity. *Raiders-Texans (✅): Well, that was certainly concerning for an already shaky Houston offense. *Steelers-Lions (❌): Steeler bullshit remains undefeated for another season, what can I say? Anyway, where's my barf bag? *Patriots-Ravens (✅): Guess Steelers bs is so powerful that even rivals in other games can choke at its will. Like seriously, it's so funny how the modern Ravens are basically just the Falcons in the alternate universe where they won Super Bowl LI by a score of 28-26 after a holding no-call screws the Patriots on the last 2-point try. *49ers-Colts (✅): Beef History: Philip Rivers vs. Philip Rivers's Defenses

*Bills-Browns (✅): I think Twitter probably would have (deservedly) torched itself to the ground if Shedeur happened to have the distinction of being Myles Garret's 23rd sack. *Chiefs-Titans (❌): Wyandotte World: Fallen Kingdom (or alternatively, insert your favorite CaptainSparklez jokes) *Bengals-Dolphins (❌): Yay, we finally had a good convincing win again that means absolutely nothing besides potentially being enough to bail Taylor and Tobin out of well-earned pink slips for yet another year. Yippee. *Jets-Saints (✅): The March to Mendoza continues! *Jaguars-Broncos (❌): I know I'm taking the L on this pick in the end, but frankly, was something like this really a shock for Denver? *Falcons-Cardinals (✅): I'm genuinely starting to wonder if the Cardinals have had more one-score bottlings this year than seasons since ditching Chicago back during the Eisenhower administration where they've provided the NFL much of anything besides mediocrity. *Raiders-Texans (✅): Well, that was certainly concerning for an already shaky Houston offense. *Steelers-Lions (❌): Steeler bullshit remains undefeated for another season, what can I say? Anyway, where's my barf bag? *Patriots-Ravens (✅): Guess Steelers bs is so powerful that even rivals in other games can choke at its will. Like seriously, it's so funny how the modern Ravens are basically just the Falcons in the alternate universe where they won Super Bowl LI by a score of 28-26 after a holding no-call screws the Patriots on the last 2-point try. *49ers-Colts (✅): Beef History: Philip Rivers vs. Philip Rivers's Defenses

14th team voted out: Dallas Cowboys. The tribe has spoken. [1 torch snuffed Survivor-style] Lions, your torch remains alight for at least one more week. 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th teams to win immunity into the 2025 NFL playoffs: Seattle Seahawks, Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears, San Francisco 49ers, New England Patriots, Buffalo Bills, Los Angeles Chargers, and Jacksonville Jaguars! Come on over! (One at a time, though, please. I beg of you.) [8 immunity necklaces awarded] Packers, you'll have to wait at least one more week for immunity.

14th team voted out: Dallas Cowboys. The tribe has spoken. [1 torch snuffed Survivor-style] Lions, your torch remains alight for at least one more week. 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th teams to win immunity into the 2025 NFL playoffs: Seattle Seahawks, Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears, San Francisco 49ers, New England Patriots, Buffalo Bills, Los Angeles Chargers, and Jacksonville Jaguars! Come on over! (One at a time, though, please. I beg of you.) [8 immunity necklaces awarded] Packers, you'll have to wait at least one more week for immunity.

2025 Week 16 Picks: 12/16, or 75% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-16): 161.5/240, or 67.3%

2025 Week 16 Picks: 12/16, or 75% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-16): 161.5/240, or 67.3%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 16 Recap #sortasports #sortapicks #week16 #nflweek16 #nfl #recap #picks #nflpicks #nflrecap

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
2 months ago
*Rams-Seahawks (TNF): Seahawks (Matt, I kindly ask that you throw the most brutal hospital pass of your storied career to that antisemitic douche Nacua first thing tonight.) *Eagles-Commanders (Saturday A): Eagles *Packers-Bears (Saturday B): Bears *Chargers-Cowboys: Chargers *Buccaneers-Panthers: Panthers *Vikings-Giants: Vikings *Bills-Browns: Bills *Chiefs-Titans: Chiefs (by default, which is really funky to say about the Chiefs lol) *Bengals-Dolphins: Dolphins *Jets-Saints: Saints *Jaguars-Broncos: Broncos (just barely) *Falcons-Cardinals: Falcons *Raiders-Texans: Texans *Steelers-Lions: Lions *Patriots-Ravens (SNF): Patriots *49ers-Colts (MNF ABC/ESPN/Disney+): 49ers On the doorstep to immunity (2/14 in already): 49ers, Bears, Bills, Chargers, Eagles, Jaguars, Packers, Patriots, and Seahawks On the chopping block (13/18 out already): Cowboys and Lions 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-15): 149.5/224, or 66.7% 2024 Week 16 Picks: 11/16, or 68.8%

*Rams-Seahawks (TNF): Seahawks (Matt, I kindly ask that you throw the most brutal hospital pass of your storied career to that antisemitic douche Nacua first thing tonight.) *Eagles-Commanders (Saturday A): Eagles *Packers-Bears (Saturday B): Bears *Chargers-Cowboys: Chargers *Buccaneers-Panthers: Panthers *Vikings-Giants: Vikings *Bills-Browns: Bills *Chiefs-Titans: Chiefs (by default, which is really funky to say about the Chiefs lol) *Bengals-Dolphins: Dolphins *Jets-Saints: Saints *Jaguars-Broncos: Broncos (just barely) *Falcons-Cardinals: Falcons *Raiders-Texans: Texans *Steelers-Lions: Lions *Patriots-Ravens (SNF): Patriots *49ers-Colts (MNF ABC/ESPN/Disney+): 49ers On the doorstep to immunity (2/14 in already): 49ers, Bears, Bills, Chargers, Eagles, Jaguars, Packers, Patriots, and Seahawks On the chopping block (13/18 out already): Cowboys and Lions 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-15): 149.5/224, or 66.7% 2024 Week 16 Picks: 11/16, or 68.8%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 16 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #predictions #week16 #nflweek16 #sortapicks #sortasports

1 0 0 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
2 months ago
*Falcons-Buccaneers (❌): Tampa literally out-Falconed the Falcons lol *Browns-Bears (✅): Even a Bears team this cardiac isn't letting the Browns have any hope. *Cardinals-Texans (✅): With how awesome that Texans defense is compared to how spotty the offense is, this team looks dangerously close to running the 2000s Ravens simulator at this rate. *Commanders-Giants (✅): The Giants barely held onto their Tank Bowl chances here. *Raiders-Eagles (✅): Unfortunately, the Raiders couldn't send us into the ultimate comedy roast and the Eagles now have the division all but won by default. *Jets-Jaguars (✅): Oh hey, at least now T-Law looks as awesome as we all thought he'd be entering the league! *Ravens-Bengals (✅): You think I'd have a truly angry rant like the Jets game one in me now that we're mathematically eliminated, but this season has utterly drained me. All I can say this game, this season, and Burrow questioning if he should stay here is that this entire franchise has spent the last three years reconfirming with authority that the name "Bungles" truly is evergreen, no matter how much Burrow and Chase waste away their wonderful talents trying to prove otherwise. *Chargers-Chiefs (✅): Not only does this woeful season have a firm stake in it, but with that injury to Mahomes and the potential last dance for both Reid and Kelce, it looks all the more likely that this dynasty is ending how most dynasties end: not with a bang, but with a Minshew interception. *Bills-Patriots (❌): Patriots choking a big lead in a potential division clincher to Buffalo feels like some serious Freaky Friday-type shit, even with them still being very close to having that division title back. *Colts-Seahawks (✅): Papa Rivers was so close to having a great story to tell his many grandkids (in like 5 years), but unfortunately, that old San Diego spirit(/neg) manifested into the Colts defense giving up one last Jason Myers kick of doom to potentially jackknife Indy's hopes for good.

*Falcons-Buccaneers (❌): Tampa literally out-Falconed the Falcons lol *Browns-Bears (✅): Even a Bears team this cardiac isn't letting the Browns have any hope. *Cardinals-Texans (✅): With how awesome that Texans defense is compared to how spotty the offense is, this team looks dangerously close to running the 2000s Ravens simulator at this rate. *Commanders-Giants (✅): The Giants barely held onto their Tank Bowl chances here. *Raiders-Eagles (✅): Unfortunately, the Raiders couldn't send us into the ultimate comedy roast and the Eagles now have the division all but won by default. *Jets-Jaguars (✅): Oh hey, at least now T-Law looks as awesome as we all thought he'd be entering the league! *Ravens-Bengals (✅): You think I'd have a truly angry rant like the Jets game one in me now that we're mathematically eliminated, but this season has utterly drained me. All I can say this game, this season, and Burrow questioning if he should stay here is that this entire franchise has spent the last three years reconfirming with authority that the name "Bungles" truly is evergreen, no matter how much Burrow and Chase waste away their wonderful talents trying to prove otherwise. *Chargers-Chiefs (✅): Not only does this woeful season have a firm stake in it, but with that injury to Mahomes and the potential last dance for both Reid and Kelce, it looks all the more likely that this dynasty is ending how most dynasties end: not with a bang, but with a Minshew interception. *Bills-Patriots (❌): Patriots choking a big lead in a potential division clincher to Buffalo feels like some serious Freaky Friday-type shit, even with them still being very close to having that division title back. *Colts-Seahawks (✅): Papa Rivers was so close to having a great story to tell his many grandkids (in like 5 years), but unfortunately, that old San Diego spirit(/neg) manifested into the Colts defense giving up one last Jason Myers kick of doom to potentially jackknife Indy's hopes for good.

*Packers-Broncos (❌): With the hits Green Bay took in this game, we may well see the 27-year-old QB Super Bowl tradition take a fatal blow no matter how hard they try. *Lions-Rams (✅): Damn, we may actually be on the verge of both 15-win teams from last year missing the playoffs. *Panthers-Saints (❌): The Panthers really don't want Lady Chaos to have her way even to their own benefit, huh? *Titans-49ers (✅): The 49ers being simultaneously all but locked into the playoffs and yet just kinda feeling like they have no shot at all at finishing higher than 3rd in this division sounds about right, honestly. *Vikings-Cowboys (❌): Guess Dallas this time didn't even have to wait until the playoffs to have a typical embarrassing home loss to kill their season! *Dolphins-Steelers (❌): Alright, that's on me for expecting these Dolphins to do literally anything in the cold and having any shot at keeping the Steelers from waltzing to yet another deceiving winning record and yet another wasted playoff spot. (Also, damn, is it depressing seeing how much Tua's career has been destroyed by both injuries and this joke of an organization. This benching probably won't end his career completely, but I just want him to get out before it destroys his post-football life.)

*Packers-Broncos (❌): With the hits Green Bay took in this game, we may well see the 27-year-old QB Super Bowl tradition take a fatal blow no matter how hard they try. *Lions-Rams (✅): Damn, we may actually be on the verge of both 15-win teams from last year missing the playoffs. *Panthers-Saints (❌): The Panthers really don't want Lady Chaos to have her way even to their own benefit, huh? *Titans-49ers (✅): The 49ers being simultaneously all but locked into the playoffs and yet just kinda feeling like they have no shot at all at finishing higher than 3rd in this division sounds about right, honestly. *Vikings-Cowboys (❌): Guess Dallas this time didn't even have to wait until the playoffs to have a typical embarrassing home loss to kill their season! *Dolphins-Steelers (❌): Alright, that's on me for expecting these Dolphins to do literally anything in the cold and having any shot at keeping the Steelers from waltzing to yet another deceiving winning record and yet another wasted playoff spot. (Also, damn, is it depressing seeing how much Tua's career has been destroyed by both injuries and this joke of an organization. This benching probably won't end his career completely, but I just want him to get out before it destroys his post-football life.)

10th, 11th, 12th, and 13th teams voted out: Minnesota Vikings, Cincinnati Bengals (mercifully), Kansas City Chiefs (woah I guess), and Miami Dolphins. The tribe has spoken. [4 playoff torches snuffed] Meanwhile (finally), 1st and 2nd teams to win immunity into the 2025 NFL Playoffs: Los Angeles Rams and Denver Broncos! Come on over! [2 playoff immunity necklaces handed out]

10th, 11th, 12th, and 13th teams voted out: Minnesota Vikings, Cincinnati Bengals (mercifully), Kansas City Chiefs (woah I guess), and Miami Dolphins. The tribe has spoken. [4 playoff torches snuffed] Meanwhile (finally), 1st and 2nd teams to win immunity into the 2025 NFL Playoffs: Los Angeles Rams and Denver Broncos! Come on over! [2 playoff immunity necklaces handed out]

2025 Week 15 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-15): 149.5/224, or 66.7%

2025 Week 15 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-15): 149.5/224, or 66.7%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 15 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #picks #week15 #nflweek15 #sortasports #sortapicks

0 0 1 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Falcons-Buccaneers (TNF): Buccaneers *Browns-Bears: Bears *Cardinals-Texans: Texans *Commanders-Giants: Commanders *Raiders-Eagles: Eagles *Jets-Jaguars: Jaguars *Ravens-Bengals: Ravens *Chargers-Chiefs: Chargers *Bills-Patriots: Patriots *Colts-Seahawks: Seahawks *Packers-Broncos: Packers *Lions-Rams: Rams *Panthers-Saints: Panthers *Titans-49ers: 49ers *Vikings-Cowboys (SNF): Cowboys *Dolphins-Steelers (MNF ESPN): Dolphins On the doorstep to immunity (0/14 in already): Broncos, Patriots, and Rams On the chopping block (9/18 out already): Bengals, Chiefs, Dolphins, and Vikings (more info on nflplayoffscenarios.com) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-14): 139.5/208, or 67.1% 2024 Week 15 Picks: 11/16, or 68.8%

*Falcons-Buccaneers (TNF): Buccaneers *Browns-Bears: Bears *Cardinals-Texans: Texans *Commanders-Giants: Commanders *Raiders-Eagles: Eagles *Jets-Jaguars: Jaguars *Ravens-Bengals: Ravens *Chargers-Chiefs: Chargers *Bills-Patriots: Patriots *Colts-Seahawks: Seahawks *Packers-Broncos: Packers *Lions-Rams: Rams *Panthers-Saints: Panthers *Titans-49ers: 49ers *Vikings-Cowboys (SNF): Cowboys *Dolphins-Steelers (MNF ESPN): Dolphins On the doorstep to immunity (0/14 in already): Broncos, Patriots, and Rams On the chopping block (9/18 out already): Bengals, Chiefs, Dolphins, and Vikings (more info on nflplayoffscenarios.com) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-14): 139.5/208, or 67.1% 2024 Week 15 Picks: 11/16, or 68.8%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 15 Picks/Predictions #nfl #nflweek15 #week15 #picks #predictions #sortasports #sortapicks

0 0 0 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Cowboys-Lions (✅): Well, cute little run Dallas had of exposing fellow frauds. Too bad the football gods decided they had fucked over Detroit enough times in Lions-Cowboys games and decided to turn it around the other way for once. *Seahawks-Falcons (✅): Behold how not to run a team in the 2nd half of a football game (and also how not to run a wannabe contender in general) *Titans-Browns (❌): As much as I've felt like defending Stefanski for a while (speaking as someone who really doesn't like the Browns), that 2-pointer alone really feels like the dagger. *Commanders-Vikings (❌): At least McCarthy finally had a good game with the season cooked? *Bengals-Bills (✅): It probably doesn't say something good about this team that this may have been one of their most agonizing losses in a season filled with them, and I legit feel absolutely nothing at this point. If anything, I'm glad Josh Allen immediately killed any delusions some dared to have of a Steelers-esque meaningless 9-8 push, so that way there'd be even a slight chance of the band-aid-ripping this franchise badly needs to begin a month from now. *Steelers-Ravens (❌): So, Baltimore, your season may have been ruined by the football gods making their love of the increasingly mid Steelers abundantly clear? First time? *Dolphins-Jets (✅): The Dolphins may be on the single most ignorable hot streak we'll see all season (probably in part because they're feasting on the underbelly of the league). But hey, Tua finally won a game at all in the cold, so may as well celebrate it like it's that 3rd Lombardi Trophy you've spent the last 30 years doing absolutely nothing to get remotely close to. *Saints-Buccaneers (❌): Carolina having a very real shot at this division thanks to Tampa imploding sounds pretty on-brand for this season, honestly. *Colts-Jaguars (✅): Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom-val (Potentially soon to be followed by the surprise sequel... The Bridge on the River Philips?!?)

*Cowboys-Lions (✅): Well, cute little run Dallas had of exposing fellow frauds. Too bad the football gods decided they had fucked over Detroit enough times in Lions-Cowboys games and decided to turn it around the other way for once. *Seahawks-Falcons (✅): Behold how not to run a team in the 2nd half of a football game (and also how not to run a wannabe contender in general) *Titans-Browns (❌): As much as I've felt like defending Stefanski for a while (speaking as someone who really doesn't like the Browns), that 2-pointer alone really feels like the dagger. *Commanders-Vikings (❌): At least McCarthy finally had a good game with the season cooked? *Bengals-Bills (✅): It probably doesn't say something good about this team that this may have been one of their most agonizing losses in a season filled with them, and I legit feel absolutely nothing at this point. If anything, I'm glad Josh Allen immediately killed any delusions some dared to have of a Steelers-esque meaningless 9-8 push, so that way there'd be even a slight chance of the band-aid-ripping this franchise badly needs to begin a month from now. *Steelers-Ravens (❌): So, Baltimore, your season may have been ruined by the football gods making their love of the increasingly mid Steelers abundantly clear? First time? *Dolphins-Jets (✅): The Dolphins may be on the single most ignorable hot streak we'll see all season (probably in part because they're feasting on the underbelly of the league). But hey, Tua finally won a game at all in the cold, so may as well celebrate it like it's that 3rd Lombardi Trophy you've spent the last 30 years doing absolutely nothing to get remotely close to. *Saints-Buccaneers (❌): Carolina having a very real shot at this division thanks to Tampa imploding sounds pretty on-brand for this season, honestly. *Colts-Jaguars (✅): Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom-val (Potentially soon to be followed by the surprise sequel... The Bridge on the River Philips?!?)

*Broncos-Raiders (✅): Funny as hell how this technically went down as yet another one-score win for Denver because of Vegas putting together a clutch garbage time drive to only lose by 7. (I know everyone's made their gambling jokes and theories about it, but I'll be all generous and say it's just fate ordaining that the 2025 Broncos must never win a football game by more than one score.) *Bears-Packers (✅): Turns out no matter how promising Chicago is right now, it's still very apparent who owns who. *Rams-Cardinals (✅): As easy a get-right game as you can find. *Texans-Chiefs (✅): Damn. This may actually be it. The age of the Chiefs may have actually ended where it all started: with a dumbass 4th down call in a Texans game. *Eagles-Chargers (✅): So uhhh clearly I used my whole Madden joke from the 49ers-Panthers game 2 Mondays ago way too early. Imagine that on a drug cocktail (or a sugar rush in the case of the little sibling). A true masterclass of football comedy where Monstropolis can barely come close to portraying its absurdity in full glory and there are no winners, only survivors. And it sure as shit isn't the team that had 2 of the combined 3 turnovers on a single goddamn play lmao

*Broncos-Raiders (✅): Funny as hell how this technically went down as yet another one-score win for Denver because of Vegas putting together a clutch garbage time drive to only lose by 7. (I know everyone's made their gambling jokes and theories about it, but I'll be all generous and say it's just fate ordaining that the 2025 Broncos must never win a football game by more than one score.) *Bears-Packers (✅): Turns out no matter how promising Chicago is right now, it's still very apparent who owns who. *Rams-Cardinals (✅): As easy a get-right game as you can find. *Texans-Chiefs (✅): Damn. This may actually be it. The age of the Chiefs may have actually ended where it all started: with a dumbass 4th down call in a Texans game. *Eagles-Chargers (✅): So uhhh clearly I used my whole Madden joke from the 49ers-Panthers game 2 Mondays ago way too early. Imagine that on a drug cocktail (or a sugar rush in the case of the little sibling). A true masterclass of football comedy where Monstropolis can barely come close to portraying its absurdity in full glory and there are no winners, only survivors. And it sure as shit isn't the team that had 2 of the combined 3 turnovers on a single goddamn play lmao

(More body bags!) 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th teams voted out of the 2025 playoff race: Washington Commanders, Atlanta Falcons, New York Jets, and Cleveland Browns. The tribe has spoken. [4 more playoff torches get snuffed a la Survivor] Vikings, your torch remains alight for at least one more week. 2025 Week 14 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-14): 139.5/208, or 67.1%

(More body bags!) 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th teams voted out of the 2025 playoff race: Washington Commanders, Atlanta Falcons, New York Jets, and Cleveland Browns. The tribe has spoken. [4 more playoff torches get snuffed a la Survivor] Vikings, your torch remains alight for at least one more week. 2025 Week 14 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-14): 139.5/208, or 67.1%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 14 Recap #nfl #nflpicks #nflrecap #picks #recap #week14 #nflweek14 #sortasports #sortapicks (btw I did the math and I believe I've already clinched getting at least over 50% of all regular season picks right, which is more than I can say for the Eagles rn lol)

0 0 0 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Cowboys-Lions (TNF): Lions *Seahawks-Falcons: Seahawks *Titans-Browns: Browns *Commanders-Vikings: Commanders *Bengals-Bills: Bills *Steelers-Ravens: Ravens *Dolphins-Jets: Dolphins *Saints-Buccaneers: Buccaneers *Colts-Jaguars: Jaguars *Broncos-Raiders: Broncos *Bears-Packers: Packers *Rams-Cardinals: Rams *Texans-Chiefs (SNF): Texans *Eagles-Chargers (MNF ABC/ESPN): Chargers On the chopping block (5/18 out already): Browns, Commanders, Falcons, Jets, and Vikings (more info on nflplayoffscenarios.com) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-13): 129.5/194, or 66.8% 2024 Week 14 Picks: 11/13, or 84.6%

*Cowboys-Lions (TNF): Lions *Seahawks-Falcons: Seahawks *Titans-Browns: Browns *Commanders-Vikings: Commanders *Bengals-Bills: Bills *Steelers-Ravens: Ravens *Dolphins-Jets: Dolphins *Saints-Buccaneers: Buccaneers *Colts-Jaguars: Jaguars *Broncos-Raiders: Broncos *Bears-Packers: Packers *Rams-Cardinals: Rams *Texans-Chiefs (SNF): Texans *Eagles-Chargers (MNF ABC/ESPN): Chargers On the chopping block (5/18 out already): Browns, Commanders, Falcons, Jets, and Vikings (more info on nflplayoffscenarios.com) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-13): 129.5/194, or 66.8% 2024 Week 14 Picks: 11/13, or 84.6%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 14 Picks #nfl #predictions #week14 #nflweek14 #sortapicks #sortasports

0 0 0 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Packers-Lions (❌): Turns out other than Ebeflus's Chi-legendary flameout cameo, the Calvin Johnson Thanksgiving Curse is very much alive in Detroit. And now it's becoming a genuine concern if the same will hold true for the Bobby Layne Curse longer than quite a few of us expected not too long ago. *Chiefs-Cowboys (❌): All I can say about Kansas City is that you know people are ready to see you knocked down a peg or so when the country was rooting for the damn Cowboys to knock you down. *Bengals-Ravens (❌): You have no idea how long it feels like it's been since we just had a good, solid, convincing win, and I'll enjoy it while it lasts. (Even if any sort of last-ditch hot streak is definitely far too little, far too late to matter in the long run besides having the horrific side effect of getting Taylor and Tobin extended another 5 years by that nepo baby dunce drolling about in the Patcor suite ugh) *Bears-Eagles (✅): Hey, it wasn't just Upset-itis that prompted me to make this pick. The Eagles have all the earmarks of a team ready to implode, especially with the buffoons they have at HC and OC. They look so dreadful now that I honestly have even less of an idea of how we can judge the Bears, but damn, what a dream season for them after the last 6 years of crap! *Jaguars-Titans (✅): Most normal Jaguars win in a while because the Titans are just that useless. *49ers-Browns (✅): San Fran needed to stay in this dogfight of a division and did exactly what they needed to. (Also insert Shedeur Sanders headline again) *Texans-Colts (❌): We saw a great display of momentum changing in this division and an even greater display of refball at damn near its very finest! *Falcons-Jets (❌): It's actually crazy just how good the Falcons franchise is at never going anywhere no matter how much they go into a season swearing this will be different.

*Packers-Lions (❌): Turns out other than Ebeflus's Chi-legendary flameout cameo, the Calvin Johnson Thanksgiving Curse is very much alive in Detroit. And now it's becoming a genuine concern if the same will hold true for the Bobby Layne Curse longer than quite a few of us expected not too long ago. *Chiefs-Cowboys (❌): All I can say about Kansas City is that you know people are ready to see you knocked down a peg or so when the country was rooting for the damn Cowboys to knock you down. *Bengals-Ravens (❌): You have no idea how long it feels like it's been since we just had a good, solid, convincing win, and I'll enjoy it while it lasts. (Even if any sort of last-ditch hot streak is definitely far too little, far too late to matter in the long run besides having the horrific side effect of getting Taylor and Tobin extended another 5 years by that nepo baby dunce drolling about in the Patcor suite ugh) *Bears-Eagles (✅): Hey, it wasn't just Upset-itis that prompted me to make this pick. The Eagles have all the earmarks of a team ready to implode, especially with the buffoons they have at HC and OC. They look so dreadful now that I honestly have even less of an idea of how we can judge the Bears, but damn, what a dream season for them after the last 6 years of crap! *Jaguars-Titans (✅): Most normal Jaguars win in a while because the Titans are just that useless. *49ers-Browns (✅): San Fran needed to stay in this dogfight of a division and did exactly what they needed to. (Also insert Shedeur Sanders headline again) *Texans-Colts (❌): We saw a great display of momentum changing in this division and an even greater display of refball at damn near its very finest! *Falcons-Jets (❌): It's actually crazy just how good the Falcons franchise is at never going anywhere no matter how much they go into a season swearing this will be different.

*Rams-Panthers (❌): WHO THE HELL EVEN WANTS TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL ANYMORE?!? LIKE ARE ALL 1,696 OF YOU PLAYERS ACTUALLY THAT SCARED OF NAVIGATING SANTA CLARA TRAFFIC AGAIN?!? WHAT EVEN IS THIS SEASON?!? *Saints-Dolphins (✅): The Dolphins nearly had one of the quietest historic collapses ever, but it turns out that the Saints are too pathetic to do anything interesting even when nobody's watching. *Cardinals-Buccaneers (✅): Good news, Tampa! Despite Todd Bowles's best efforts, Baker's arm isn't completely baked! And thanks to the Cardinals in one-score games being the Cardinals in one-score games, you sneak out with the win for at least a little breathing room! Just remember, however, that Cats in mirror may be closer than they appear. *Vikings-Seahawks (✅): I'd say that the Vikes' pain this year has been taken to the Max, but this is fucking Minnesota so I'm not even sure if this cracks their top 5 most painful seasons this century. *Raiders-Chargers (✅): Not even Brock Bowers making what stood for like 2 hours as the unquestioned best catch of the year against an AFC West team (honestly, I still think it has a case, holy shit) was anywhere close to enough to save Vegas as the Chargers reaffirmed their spot as this division's 2nd best hope of burying the Chiefs. *Bills-Steelers (✅): This can't be it, right? It has to be too good to be true. The Steelers may NOT bullshit into another 9-8 Super Bowl? No, don't celebrate yet. But damn, does it feel so close, yet so far away.

*Rams-Panthers (❌): WHO THE HELL EVEN WANTS TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL ANYMORE?!? LIKE ARE ALL 1,696 OF YOU PLAYERS ACTUALLY THAT SCARED OF NAVIGATING SANTA CLARA TRAFFIC AGAIN?!? WHAT EVEN IS THIS SEASON?!? *Saints-Dolphins (✅): The Dolphins nearly had one of the quietest historic collapses ever, but it turns out that the Saints are too pathetic to do anything interesting even when nobody's watching. *Cardinals-Buccaneers (✅): Good news, Tampa! Despite Todd Bowles's best efforts, Baker's arm isn't completely baked! And thanks to the Cardinals in one-score games being the Cardinals in one-score games, you sneak out with the win for at least a little breathing room! Just remember, however, that Cats in mirror may be closer than they appear. *Vikings-Seahawks (✅): I'd say that the Vikes' pain this year has been taken to the Max, but this is fucking Minnesota so I'm not even sure if this cracks their top 5 most painful seasons this century. *Raiders-Chargers (✅): Not even Brock Bowers making what stood for like 2 hours as the unquestioned best catch of the year against an AFC West team (honestly, I still think it has a case, holy shit) was anywhere close to enough to save Vegas as the Chargers reaffirmed their spot as this division's 2nd best hope of burying the Chiefs. *Bills-Steelers (✅): This can't be it, right? It has to be too good to be true. The Steelers may NOT bullshit into another 9-8 Super Bowl? No, don't celebrate yet. But damn, does it feel so close, yet so far away.

*Broncos-Commanders (✅): A game that looked worthy of a flex going in became one of the Games of the Year, with Treylon Burks of all people coming out of nowhere to make the other best catch of the year against an AFC West team (and also at least a top 2 one-handed grab in SNF history). In the end, despite how suspect Denver continues to look, they ultimately locked down by the slimmest of margins, in the process all but assuring both their own return trip to postseason ball in January and especially Washington's delayed return trip to the fishing docks in January despite a great fight from Marcus Mariota and company. *Giants-Patriots (✅): I'm afraid there were no Helmet Catches to save the G-Men this time around, and the same may very well be said about saving us from a deep Pats run just like in the days of Brady.

*Broncos-Commanders (✅): A game that looked worthy of a flex going in became one of the Games of the Year, with Treylon Burks of all people coming out of nowhere to make the other best catch of the year against an AFC West team (and also at least a top 2 one-handed grab in SNF history). In the end, despite how suspect Denver continues to look, they ultimately locked down by the slimmest of margins, in the process all but assuring both their own return trip to postseason ball in January and especially Washington's delayed return trip to the fishing docks in January despite a great fight from Marcus Mariota and company. *Giants-Patriots (✅): I'm afraid there were no Helmet Catches to save the G-Men this time around, and the same may very well be said about saving us from a deep Pats run just like in the days of Brady.

(Bring out the body bags, and lots of them) 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th teams voted out of the 2025 playoff race: Arizona Cardinals, New Orleans Saints, Tennessee Titans, and Las Vegas Raiders. The tribe has spoken. [torches snuffed Survivor-style] Commanders and Jets, your torches remain alight for at least one more week. 2025 Week 13 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-13): 129.5/194, or 66.8%

(Bring out the body bags, and lots of them) 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th teams voted out of the 2025 playoff race: Arizona Cardinals, New Orleans Saints, Tennessee Titans, and Las Vegas Raiders. The tribe has spoken. [torches snuffed Survivor-style] Commanders and Jets, your torches remain alight for at least one more week. 2025 Week 13 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-13): 129.5/194, or 66.8%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 13 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #week13 #nflweek13 #sortapicks #sortasports

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Packers-Lions (Thanksgiving Fox): Lions *Chiefs-Cowboys (Thanksgiving CBS): Chiefs *Bengals-Ravens (Thanksgiving NBC): Ravens *Bears-Eagles (Black Friday): Bears (chalk it up to a classic "momentum is God" pick all you want, but it just feels like that kind of matchup at this rate) *Jaguars-Titans: Jaguars *49ers-Browns: 49ers *Texans-Colts: Colts *Falcons-Jets: Falcons *Rams-Panthers: Rams *Saints-Dolphins: Dolphins *Cardinals-Buccaneers: Buccaneers *Vikings-Seahawks: Seahawks *Raiders-Chargers: Chargers *Bills-Steelers: Bills *Broncos-Commanders (SNF): Broncos *Giants-Patriots (MNF ESPN): Patriots (and I mean that this Giants team makes the 2007 Giants look like the 2007 Patriots, geez) On the chopping block (1/18 out already): Cardinals, Commanders, Jets, Raiders, Saints, and Titans (more info on nflplayoffscenarios.com) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-12): 119.5/178, or 67.1% 2024 Week 13 Picks: 15/16, or 93.8%

*Packers-Lions (Thanksgiving Fox): Lions *Chiefs-Cowboys (Thanksgiving CBS): Chiefs *Bengals-Ravens (Thanksgiving NBC): Ravens *Bears-Eagles (Black Friday): Bears (chalk it up to a classic "momentum is God" pick all you want, but it just feels like that kind of matchup at this rate) *Jaguars-Titans: Jaguars *49ers-Browns: 49ers *Texans-Colts: Colts *Falcons-Jets: Falcons *Rams-Panthers: Rams *Saints-Dolphins: Dolphins *Cardinals-Buccaneers: Buccaneers *Vikings-Seahawks: Seahawks *Raiders-Chargers: Chargers *Bills-Steelers: Bills *Broncos-Commanders (SNF): Broncos *Giants-Patriots (MNF ESPN): Patriots (and I mean that this Giants team makes the 2007 Giants look like the 2007 Patriots, geez) On the chopping block (1/18 out already): Cardinals, Commanders, Jets, Raiders, Saints, and Titans (more info on nflplayoffscenarios.com) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-12): 119.5/178, or 67.1% 2024 Week 13 Picks: 15/16, or 93.8%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 13 Picks #nfl #nflthanksgiving #nflweek13 #week13 #sortasports #sortapicks

0 0 0 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Bills-Texans (n): Damn, maybe I should have trusted my gut here. But my concern consumed my pick just like how that D-line consumed Josh Allen and likely the Bills' division title hopes. *Vikings-Packers (Y): I don't love writing off quarterbacks super early in their career, but WOOF is McCarthy not making that outlook easy to keep up. *Giants-Lions (Y): This looks really damning for Detroit, but at least they're not the ones stuck with the Turnover Bakery or a D-coordinator fired way too late. *Seahawks-Titans (Y): Seahawks continuing to make bad teams cower at their feet. *Colts-Chiefs (n): No, Indy! Why'd you falter on the doorstep of saving America? 😭 *Patriots-Bengals (Y): Bringing Burrow back into this mess this deep into the abyss is like trying to use duct tape on a giant shipwreck when it's already seconds away from splitting in half. *Steelers-Bears (Y): Most expensive swinging door in football! You love to see it! *Jets-Ravens (Y): Remember when the Ravens were a 1-5 trainwreck with levels of defensive incompetence that the Inner Harbour hadn't seen since the horrors of 1981? Ah, the good old days. (Well, at least it's not Pittsburgh leading the division, I guess.) *Jaguars-Cardinals (Y): Jacksonville has always been the NFL's Twilight Zone, even on the not-so-common occasion that they win. But BOY are they taking that distinction to new heights this season. *Browns-Raiders (n): At this point, I think I'll go from just hating the Browns for having a creep on their roster to hating them just a little bit more for wasting the career of a player as stellar as Myles Garrett. (Also Shedeur Sanders completed a couple of checkdowns that went far and I know that Twitter was just so reasonable about that.)

*Bills-Texans (n): Damn, maybe I should have trusted my gut here. But my concern consumed my pick just like how that D-line consumed Josh Allen and likely the Bills' division title hopes. *Vikings-Packers (Y): I don't love writing off quarterbacks super early in their career, but WOOF is McCarthy not making that outlook easy to keep up. *Giants-Lions (Y): This looks really damning for Detroit, but at least they're not the ones stuck with the Turnover Bakery or a D-coordinator fired way too late. *Seahawks-Titans (Y): Seahawks continuing to make bad teams cower at their feet. *Colts-Chiefs (n): No, Indy! Why'd you falter on the doorstep of saving America? 😭 *Patriots-Bengals (Y): Bringing Burrow back into this mess this deep into the abyss is like trying to use duct tape on a giant shipwreck when it's already seconds away from splitting in half. *Steelers-Bears (Y): Most expensive swinging door in football! You love to see it! *Jets-Ravens (Y): Remember when the Ravens were a 1-5 trainwreck with levels of defensive incompetence that the Inner Harbour hadn't seen since the horrors of 1981? Ah, the good old days. (Well, at least it's not Pittsburgh leading the division, I guess.) *Jaguars-Cardinals (Y): Jacksonville has always been the NFL's Twilight Zone, even on the not-so-common occasion that they win. But BOY are they taking that distinction to new heights this season. *Browns-Raiders (n): At this point, I think I'll go from just hating the Browns for having a creep on their roster to hating them just a little bit more for wasting the career of a player as stellar as Myles Garrett. (Also Shedeur Sanders completed a couple of checkdowns that went far and I know that Twitter was just so reasonable about that.)

*Eagles-Cowboys (n): After months of sloppy play and horrifically coached offense, Philly's chickens didn't just come home to roost here, they stormed their home and carved them up into the exact bed shapes they wanted. Sound clumsy and stupid? Well you're right, but it can't be that much worse than whatever the hell Sirianni and Patullo are doing to waste this team away. *Falcons-Saints (Y): Enjoy this free win while you can, Atlanta, because I don't know if you have that many more in you with how much this season has spiraled. *Buccaneers-Rams (Y): Buccaneers have gone from Baking their division to in serious danger of being as Baked as Baker's shoulder. Perfect for being the sacrifice for the Rams to assert themselves as perhaps the new Super Bowl favorites. *Panthers-49ers (Y): This game was like watching someone normally good, but kinda rusty at Madden sandbagging hard to try and give their baby sibling a shot only for them to suck even more because they didn't see the sandbagging coming and tried sandbagging themself to make it more interesting for themself. And meanwhile, they're not only dumb enough to agree to make it the full 60 minutes when 12 minutes would be painful enough, but you're forced to sit there the entire time. Now let's never speak of this night ever again.

*Eagles-Cowboys (n): After months of sloppy play and horrifically coached offense, Philly's chickens didn't just come home to roost here, they stormed their home and carved them up into the exact bed shapes they wanted. Sound clumsy and stupid? Well you're right, but it can't be that much worse than whatever the hell Sirianni and Patullo are doing to waste this team away. *Falcons-Saints (Y): Enjoy this free win while you can, Atlanta, because I don't know if you have that many more in you with how much this season has spiraled. *Buccaneers-Rams (Y): Buccaneers have gone from Baking their division to in serious danger of being as Baked as Baker's shoulder. Perfect for being the sacrifice for the Rams to assert themselves as perhaps the new Super Bowl favorites. *Panthers-49ers (Y): This game was like watching someone normally good, but kinda rusty at Madden sandbagging hard to try and give their baby sibling a shot only for them to suck even more because they didn't see the sandbagging coming and tried sandbagging themself to make it more interesting for themself. And meanwhile, they're not only dumb enough to agree to make it the full 60 minutes when 12 minutes would be painful enough, but you're forced to sit there the entire time. Now let's never speak of this night ever again.

1st team voted out of the 2025 playoff race, Giants. New York, the tribe has spoken. [Giants' torch snuffed Survivor-style] 2025 Week 12 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-12): 119.5/178, or 67.1%

1st team voted out of the 2025 playoff race, Giants. New York, the tribe has spoken. [Giants' torch snuffed Survivor-style] 2025 Week 12 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-12): 119.5/178, or 67.1%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 12 Recap #nfl #nflweek12 #week12 #sortapicks #sortasports

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Bills-Texans (TNF): Bills (although since it's a matter of great offense with crummy defense vs. great defense with crummy offense, I don't see it being a runaway by any means) *Vikings-Packers: Packers *Giants-Lions: Lions *Seahawks-Titans: Seahawks *Colts-Chiefs: Colts *Patriots-Bengals: Patriots *Steelers-Bears: Bears *Jets-Ravens: Ravens *Jaguars-Cardinals: Jaguars *Browns-Raiders: Raiders *Eagles-Cowboys: Eagles *Falcons-Saints: Falcons *Buccaneers-Rams (SNF): Rams *Panthers-49ers (MNF ESPN): 49ers 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-11): 109.5/164, or 66.8% 2024 Week 12 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2% Can be eliminated this week: Giants Source for the playoff info (plus details) is https://nflplayoffscenarios.com/

*Bills-Texans (TNF): Bills (although since it's a matter of great offense with crummy defense vs. great defense with crummy offense, I don't see it being a runaway by any means) *Vikings-Packers: Packers *Giants-Lions: Lions *Seahawks-Titans: Seahawks *Colts-Chiefs: Colts *Patriots-Bengals: Patriots *Steelers-Bears: Bears *Jets-Ravens: Ravens *Jaguars-Cardinals: Jaguars *Browns-Raiders: Raiders *Eagles-Cowboys: Eagles *Falcons-Saints: Falcons *Buccaneers-Rams (SNF): Rams *Panthers-49ers (MNF ESPN): 49ers 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-11): 109.5/164, or 66.8% 2024 Week 12 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2% Can be eliminated this week: Giants Source for the playoff info (plus details) is https://nflplayoffscenarios.com/

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 12 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #nflweek12 #week12 #sortasports #sortapicks (Again, the awesome @nflplayoffscenarios.com site is the one getting all the playoff scenarios sorted out. That said, if you don't want me tagging you in future weeks, just let me know.)

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Jets-Patriots (✅): Drake Maye be too good for these recaps, because in case you couldn't tell, my whole schtick with his name may (or is it "Maye"?) be wearing out its welcome. (Although at least it can't be as bad as the Jets, right, guys? Right?) *Commanders-Dolphins (❌): McDaniel had to have had one of the most fireable winning games ever, ¿estoy en lo cierto? (Please tell me Google Translate didn't fail me there.) *Texans-Titans (✅): The once-scorned city at least got the better of the diet Bud Adams Bowl, although it certainly is damning that it was as close as it was. *Bears-Vikings (❌): Even with McCarthy in essence not really being a sophomore in this Sophomore Bowl, wow, was it apparent who was more ready for the big time in this division in the end, even with the late rally. *Panthers-Falcons (❌): Shockingly, Carolina makes it look more and more likely that they actually managed to channel the ghosts of Cardiac Cats' past. (I mean, that team also happened to be two years removed from a Heisman-helmed 15-loss trainwreck, and look how they turned out!) And perhaps not so shockingly, yet another once-promising Falcons season has now spiraled into the abyss, especially now that Penix is out and they're stuck riding it out with their 180-million-dollar mistake. *Packers-Giants (✅): Honestly, the fact that Cooked Russ and his wrecked team's brand new interim coach came as close as they did to winning may be just as scathing an indictment of the Packers as any of their recent losses. *Chargers-Jaguars (❌): I knew both of these teams were increasingly inconsistent, but woof, this feels even more concerning for the Bolts than it feels encouraging for the Jags.

*Jets-Patriots (✅): Drake Maye be too good for these recaps, because in case you couldn't tell, my whole schtick with his name may (or is it "Maye"?) be wearing out its welcome. (Although at least it can't be as bad as the Jets, right, guys? Right?) *Commanders-Dolphins (❌): McDaniel had to have had one of the most fireable winning games ever, ¿estoy en lo cierto? (Please tell me Google Translate didn't fail me there.) *Texans-Titans (✅): The once-scorned city at least got the better of the diet Bud Adams Bowl, although it certainly is damning that it was as close as it was. *Bears-Vikings (❌): Even with McCarthy in essence not really being a sophomore in this Sophomore Bowl, wow, was it apparent who was more ready for the big time in this division in the end, even with the late rally. *Panthers-Falcons (❌): Shockingly, Carolina makes it look more and more likely that they actually managed to channel the ghosts of Cardiac Cats' past. (I mean, that team also happened to be two years removed from a Heisman-helmed 15-loss trainwreck, and look how they turned out!) And perhaps not so shockingly, yet another once-promising Falcons season has now spiraled into the abyss, especially now that Penix is out and they're stuck riding it out with their 180-million-dollar mistake. *Packers-Giants (✅): Honestly, the fact that Cooked Russ and his wrecked team's brand new interim coach came as close as they did to winning may be just as scathing an indictment of the Packers as any of their recent losses. *Chargers-Jaguars (❌): I knew both of these teams were increasingly inconsistent, but woof, this feels even more concerning for the Bolts than it feels encouraging for the Jags.

*Bengals-Steelers (✅): The Steelers indeed won by default, but only by dropping 34 and not 70. And this is why you don't gamble, kids. More importantly, whatever's going on with Chase is why you don't spit on people, kids, because that's just gross. Even more importantly than any of that, you also shouldn't be Bengals fans, kids. It'll make you long for the days of your first boo-boo. *Buccaneers-Bills (❌): It'd probably feel a little too harsh to call this a Fraud Bowl, but it was still clear that both of these teams needed to perform going in, and at least they both sure did defensively in a classic case of a game far more fun than its final score would indicate. *49ers-Cardinals (✅): In what could have been the first Soft Benching Bowl with that name, Purdy instead came back just in time to do all he needed to against this flightless flock. *Seahawks-Rams (❌): Despite the Hawks' best efforts late, this game ultimately reaffirmed both who's boss in this division and why McDarnold's was sold off for cheap at the turn of the fiscal year. *Chiefs-Broncos (❌): As this latest Nixing proved, the football gods clearly realized they fucked up with their little Chiefs experiment last year and have now decided that the only way to make up for last season was to completely turn the tables on KC with one-score games. *Ravens-Browns (✅): Goddamn it, the Ravens are back. And now the Sheduer stans are out in full force after a debut (admittedly not a comfortably-timed one) that would make even Johnny Football queasy. *Lions-Eagles (❌): Such a deflating offensive performance that even if one of the worst PI calls of all time didn't happen, I'm not so sure if the Lions really have a shot at this one. *Cowboys-Raiders (✅): Considering what that Dallas locker room had gone through the week before, this is the definition of a win deserved in more ways than just football. I know Marshawn would be proud of how his brothers-in-arms played on Monday night.

*Bengals-Steelers (✅): The Steelers indeed won by default, but only by dropping 34 and not 70. And this is why you don't gamble, kids. More importantly, whatever's going on with Chase is why you don't spit on people, kids, because that's just gross. Even more importantly than any of that, you also shouldn't be Bengals fans, kids. It'll make you long for the days of your first boo-boo. *Buccaneers-Bills (❌): It'd probably feel a little too harsh to call this a Fraud Bowl, but it was still clear that both of these teams needed to perform going in, and at least they both sure did defensively in a classic case of a game far more fun than its final score would indicate. *49ers-Cardinals (✅): In what could have been the first Soft Benching Bowl with that name, Purdy instead came back just in time to do all he needed to against this flightless flock. *Seahawks-Rams (❌): Despite the Hawks' best efforts late, this game ultimately reaffirmed both who's boss in this division and why McDarnold's was sold off for cheap at the turn of the fiscal year. *Chiefs-Broncos (❌): As this latest Nixing proved, the football gods clearly realized they fucked up with their little Chiefs experiment last year and have now decided that the only way to make up for last season was to completely turn the tables on KC with one-score games. *Ravens-Browns (✅): Goddamn it, the Ravens are back. And now the Sheduer stans are out in full force after a debut (admittedly not a comfortably-timed one) that would make even Johnny Football queasy. *Lions-Eagles (❌): Such a deflating offensive performance that even if one of the worst PI calls of all time didn't happen, I'm not so sure if the Lions really have a shot at this one. *Cowboys-Raiders (✅): Considering what that Dallas locker room had gone through the week before, this is the definition of a win deserved in more ways than just football. I know Marshawn would be proud of how his brothers-in-arms played on Monday night.

2025 Week 11 Picks: 7/15, or 46.7% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-11): 109.5/164, or 66.8%

2025 Week 11 Picks: 7/15, or 46.7% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-11): 109.5/164, or 66.8%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 11 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #nflweek11 #week11 #sortasports #sortapicks

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SortaNonymous
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@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Raiders-Broncos (✅): Bringing it back to 2022 with utterly unwatchable TNF games, I see! *Falcons-Colts (✅): Jonathan Taylor really doing all he can to end the non-QB MVP drought *Jaguars-Texans (❌): If you thought the AFC South couldn't get any weirder, how about the Jags having their most epic choke ever and letting General Mills play the hero in 2025 for a Texans team on the brink! *Bills-Dolphins (❌): Well uhhh that's concerning, Buffalo! *Browns-Jets (❌): Are the Jets just gonna sweep Ohio and absolutely nobody else? (Speaking of, the 2nd and potentially final week of the season where I don't pick the Bengals to lose! That's entirely because it's their bye week, but just let me have this, damn it.) *Patriots-Buccaneers (✅): The winner of the Ex-Brady Bowl would fittingly be the team that got a lot more of Brady. *Saints-Panthers (❌): MeowMix's Favre-esque back-and-forth unsacrificing and resacrificing is being reflected in how inconsistent the Panthers keep being. *Giants-Bears (✅): Yet another game where everything has gone wrong for the Giants, enough so to spell the end of the bizarre Daboll era. (Meanwhile, is everything going right for the Bears now? Sure, why not.) *Ravens-Vikings (❌): The Vikings have never beaten the Ravens without eventually making the NFC Championship the same year. But they've also never made the playoffs after losing to the Ravens in the same year, so uhhh make what you will of their chances for this season now after this flop. *Cardinals-Seahawks (✅): This Bird Bowl was more like a pack of vultures ripping apart their disheveled prey without even bothering to check if they're too dead to care or not. *Rams-49ers (✅): I mean, what did we think was gonna happen with how beat up San Fran is?

*Raiders-Broncos (✅): Bringing it back to 2022 with utterly unwatchable TNF games, I see! *Falcons-Colts (✅): Jonathan Taylor really doing all he can to end the non-QB MVP drought *Jaguars-Texans (❌): If you thought the AFC South couldn't get any weirder, how about the Jags having their most epic choke ever and letting General Mills play the hero in 2025 for a Texans team on the brink! *Bills-Dolphins (❌): Well uhhh that's concerning, Buffalo! *Browns-Jets (❌): Are the Jets just gonna sweep Ohio and absolutely nobody else? (Speaking of, the 2nd and potentially final week of the season where I don't pick the Bengals to lose! That's entirely because it's their bye week, but just let me have this, damn it.) *Patriots-Buccaneers (✅): The winner of the Ex-Brady Bowl would fittingly be the team that got a lot more of Brady. *Saints-Panthers (❌): MeowMix's Favre-esque back-and-forth unsacrificing and resacrificing is being reflected in how inconsistent the Panthers keep being. *Giants-Bears (✅): Yet another game where everything has gone wrong for the Giants, enough so to spell the end of the bizarre Daboll era. (Meanwhile, is everything going right for the Bears now? Sure, why not.) *Ravens-Vikings (❌): The Vikings have never beaten the Ravens without eventually making the NFC Championship the same year. But they've also never made the playoffs after losing to the Ravens in the same year, so uhhh make what you will of their chances for this season now after this flop. *Cardinals-Seahawks (✅): This Bird Bowl was more like a pack of vultures ripping apart their disheveled prey without even bothering to check if they're too dead to care or not. *Rams-49ers (✅): I mean, what did we think was gonna happen with how beat up San Fran is?

*Lions-Commanders (✅): Maybe Mr. "Name the Stadium After Me" is a kiss of death for any team he's rooting for and happens to see live. (Also I'd say we dodged a bullet never having him be a real commentator, but considering what he's doing with his life instead, maybe that timeline isn't so bad for anything but our ears.) *Steelers-Chargers (✅): Steelers playing down to their potential and Chargers playing up to their potential. Exactly as the world should be! (Yeah, so the next week was fucking painful in both those regards lol) *Eagles-Packers (❌): 55 minutes of ugliness followed by 5 minutes of making you wonder how the hell both these coaches are considered favorites to reach the Super Bowl. 2025 Week 10 Picks: 8/14, or 57.1% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-10): 102.5/149, or 68.8%

*Lions-Commanders (✅): Maybe Mr. "Name the Stadium After Me" is a kiss of death for any team he's rooting for and happens to see live. (Also I'd say we dodged a bullet never having him be a real commentator, but considering what he's doing with his life instead, maybe that timeline isn't so bad for anything but our ears.) *Steelers-Chargers (✅): Steelers playing down to their potential and Chargers playing up to their potential. Exactly as the world should be! (Yeah, so the next week was fucking painful in both those regards lol) *Eagles-Packers (❌): 55 minutes of ugliness followed by 5 minutes of making you wonder how the hell both these coaches are considered favorites to reach the Super Bowl. 2025 Week 10 Picks: 8/14, or 57.1% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-10): 102.5/149, or 68.8%

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 (VERY LATE) Week 10 Recap (I know, I'm so goddamn slow lol) #nfl #nflpicks #nflrecap #sortapicks #sortasports

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
4 months ago
*Jets-Patriots (TNF): Patriots *Commanders-Dolphins (Madrid, Spain): Commanders *Texans-Titans: Texans *Bears-Vikings: Vikings *Panthers-Falcons: Falcons *Packers-Giants: Packers *Chargers-Jaguars: Chargers *Bengals-Steelers: Steelers (I hate sports gambling, but I'm betting on the over even if it's 70) *Buccaneers-Bills: Buccaneers *49ers-Cardinals: 49ers *Seahawks-Rams: Seahawks *Chiefs-Broncos: Chiefs *Ravens-Browns: Ravens *Lions-Eagles (SNF): Lions *Cowboys-Raiders (MNF): Cowboys 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-10): 102.5/149, or 68.8% 2024 Week 11 Picks: 8/14, 57.1%

*Jets-Patriots (TNF): Patriots *Commanders-Dolphins (Madrid, Spain): Commanders *Texans-Titans: Texans *Bears-Vikings: Vikings *Panthers-Falcons: Falcons *Packers-Giants: Packers *Chargers-Jaguars: Chargers *Bengals-Steelers: Steelers (I hate sports gambling, but I'm betting on the over even if it's 70) *Buccaneers-Bills: Buccaneers *49ers-Cardinals: 49ers *Seahawks-Rams: Seahawks *Chiefs-Broncos: Chiefs *Ravens-Browns: Ravens *Lions-Eagles (SNF): Lions *Cowboys-Raiders (MNF): Cowboys 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-10): 102.5/149, or 68.8% 2024 Week 11 Picks: 8/14, 57.1%

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 11 Picks #nfl #sortapicks #sortasports #nflweek11 #week11

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
4 months ago
*Raiders-Broncos (TNF): Broncos *Falcons-Colts (Berlin, Germany): Colts *Jaguars-Texans: Jaguars *Bills-Dolphins: Bills *Browns-Jets: Browns *Patriots-Buccaneers: Patriots *Saints-Panthers: Panthers *Giants-Bears: Bears *Ravens-Vikings: Vikings *Cardinals-Seahawks: Seahawks *Rams-49ers: Rams *Lions-Commanders: Lions *Steelers-Chargers (SNF): Chargers *Eagles-Packers (MNF): Packers 2025 Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 94.5/135, or exactly 70% 2024 Week 10 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2%

*Raiders-Broncos (TNF): Broncos *Falcons-Colts (Berlin, Germany): Colts *Jaguars-Texans: Jaguars *Bills-Dolphins: Bills *Browns-Jets: Browns *Patriots-Buccaneers: Patriots *Saints-Panthers: Panthers *Giants-Bears: Bears *Ravens-Vikings: Vikings *Cardinals-Seahawks: Seahawks *Rams-49ers: Rams *Lions-Commanders: Lions *Steelers-Chargers (SNF): Chargers *Eagles-Packers (MNF): Packers 2025 Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 94.5/135, or exactly 70% 2024 Week 10 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 10 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #week10 #nflweek10 #sortasports #sortapicks #predictions

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
4 months ago
*Ravens-Dolphins (✅): Easy target for a get-right game. *Bears-Bengals (✅): My 4th full year being a fan of this team and I'm already becoming numb to shit like this. *Falcons-Patriots (✅): Patriots will never stop haunting the Falcons, I see. *49ers-Giants (✅): 49ers are showing just how banged-up you can be to still have a shot at a division. *Colts-Steelers (❌): They're just that immune to a cold streak before they've clinched 9 wins apparently. *Chargers-Titans (✅): Yep, this Wild Card loss is going to be painful once all the injuries are too much to ignore. *Vikings-Lions (❌): Vikings are too strange to fold that easily. *Panthers-Packers (❌): Cardiac Cats are back for a new generation! *Broncos-Texans (✅): Houston really wants to be the anti-Bengals, I guess. *Saints-Rams (✅): Rams continue to be the dark horse. *Jaguars-Raiders (✅): So Jaguars to not just win the first-ever multi-touchdown overtime, but to win on such a weird deflection and break the field goal record to make Justin Tucker wince even more this year! (Also pretty Raiders for them to literally invent a new way to lose an NFL game like that lol) *Chiefs-Bills (✅): Bills own them in the regular season, yadda yadda, how will it hurt in January this time? *Seahawks-Commanders (✅): Already a disaster night for Washington even before Daniels (in garbage time?!?) got that much more dangerously close to being the new RGIII. *Cardinals-Cowboys (❌): Cardinals got the win they absolutely needed. In light of what happened this morning with one of these two teams, though, that's honestly all that feels right to say about this game, if it even matters anyway. 2025 Week 9 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 94.5/135, or a less nice, but exact 70%

*Ravens-Dolphins (✅): Easy target for a get-right game. *Bears-Bengals (✅): My 4th full year being a fan of this team and I'm already becoming numb to shit like this. *Falcons-Patriots (✅): Patriots will never stop haunting the Falcons, I see. *49ers-Giants (✅): 49ers are showing just how banged-up you can be to still have a shot at a division. *Colts-Steelers (❌): They're just that immune to a cold streak before they've clinched 9 wins apparently. *Chargers-Titans (✅): Yep, this Wild Card loss is going to be painful once all the injuries are too much to ignore. *Vikings-Lions (❌): Vikings are too strange to fold that easily. *Panthers-Packers (❌): Cardiac Cats are back for a new generation! *Broncos-Texans (✅): Houston really wants to be the anti-Bengals, I guess. *Saints-Rams (✅): Rams continue to be the dark horse. *Jaguars-Raiders (✅): So Jaguars to not just win the first-ever multi-touchdown overtime, but to win on such a weird deflection and break the field goal record to make Justin Tucker wince even more this year! (Also pretty Raiders for them to literally invent a new way to lose an NFL game like that lol) *Chiefs-Bills (✅): Bills own them in the regular season, yadda yadda, how will it hurt in January this time? *Seahawks-Commanders (✅): Already a disaster night for Washington even before Daniels (in garbage time?!?) got that much more dangerously close to being the new RGIII. *Cardinals-Cowboys (❌): Cardinals got the win they absolutely needed. In light of what happened this morning with one of these two teams, though, that's honestly all that feels right to say about this game, if it even matters anyway. 2025 Week 9 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 94.5/135, or a less nice, but exact 70%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 9 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #recap #week9 #nflweek9 #sortasports #sortapicks

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
4 months ago
*Ravens-Dolphins (TNF): Ravens *Bears-Bengals: Bears *Falcons-Patriots: Patriots *49ers-Giants: 49ers *Colts-Steelers: Colts *Chargers-Titans: Chargers *Vikings-Lions: Lions *Panthers-Packers: Packers *Broncos-Texans: Broncos *Saints-Rams: Rams *Jaguars-Raiders: Jaguars *Chiefs-Bills (National CBS): Bills *Seahawks-Commanders (SNF): Seahawks *Cardinals-Cowboys (MNF): Cowboys 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or a very nice 69.9% 2024 Week 9 Picks: 11/15, or 73.3%

*Ravens-Dolphins (TNF): Ravens *Bears-Bengals: Bears *Falcons-Patriots: Patriots *49ers-Giants: 49ers *Colts-Steelers: Colts *Chargers-Titans: Chargers *Vikings-Lions: Lions *Panthers-Packers: Packers *Broncos-Texans: Broncos *Saints-Rams: Rams *Jaguars-Raiders: Jaguars *Chiefs-Bills (National CBS): Bills *Seahawks-Commanders (SNF): Seahawks *Cardinals-Cowboys (MNF): Cowboys 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or a very nice 69.9% 2024 Week 9 Picks: 11/15, or 73.3%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 9 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #week9 #nflweek9 #sortapicks #sortasports

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
4 months ago
*Vikings-Chargers (✅): Well, as if the story of Wentz couldn't get more depressing. *Dolphins-Falcons (❌): LMAO I guess i kinda called it when I said the '09 Rams could beat these guys by 31 the week after they'd beat the '85 Bears by 31. *Jets-Bengals (❌): Because this pathetic franchise doesn't deserve another original thought this week (other than how deserving it would be if this was the only team to lose to the Jets all year), I'll just copy-paste my rant to my fellow young, but battered Bengals fan friend after this disaster: "Pardon the language turnaround, but this franchise is a fucking joke. I finally have enough trust in them to pick them to win a football game this year against one of the worst quarterbacks of the decade and the coach who ran out the clock right after a fake punt, and this is what happens. A defense that would make the worst offenses from 100 years ago running on pure bathtub booze look like the 2007 Patriots on steroids too powerful for Barry Bonds. Joe Burrow needs to wake up, smell the monster, and flee to a franchise that even remotely deserves him. He deserves to do what Stafford did against us and win a Super Bowl on a franchise that isn't a goddamn meme. And if we happen to somehow be good enough to play in that Super Bowl years later, we deserve to lose. We deserve to get fucking diced to pieces at a 1989 Broncos level by the QB we almost destroyed and Mike Brown deserves to get his incompetence rubbed in his face if it's the last game he ever watches from the owner's box too fancy to deserve his crusty, cheap ass. I hate loving this team so much." [breathes for a little bit] ... Okay, back to the show! :D

*Vikings-Chargers (✅): Well, as if the story of Wentz couldn't get more depressing. *Dolphins-Falcons (❌): LMAO I guess i kinda called it when I said the '09 Rams could beat these guys by 31 the week after they'd beat the '85 Bears by 31. *Jets-Bengals (❌): Because this pathetic franchise doesn't deserve another original thought this week (other than how deserving it would be if this was the only team to lose to the Jets all year), I'll just copy-paste my rant to my fellow young, but battered Bengals fan friend after this disaster: "Pardon the language turnaround, but this franchise is a fucking joke. I finally have enough trust in them to pick them to win a football game this year against one of the worst quarterbacks of the decade and the coach who ran out the clock right after a fake punt, and this is what happens. A defense that would make the worst offenses from 100 years ago running on pure bathtub booze look like the 2007 Patriots on steroids too powerful for Barry Bonds. Joe Burrow needs to wake up, smell the monster, and flee to a franchise that even remotely deserves him. He deserves to do what Stafford did against us and win a Super Bowl on a franchise that isn't a goddamn meme. And if we happen to somehow be good enough to play in that Super Bowl years later, we deserve to lose. We deserve to get fucking diced to pieces at a 1989 Broncos level by the QB we almost destroyed and Mike Brown deserves to get his incompetence rubbed in his face if it's the last game he ever watches from the owner's box too fancy to deserve his crusty, cheap ass. I hate loving this team so much." [breathes for a little bit] ... Okay, back to the show! :D

*Bears-Ravens (❌): Typical Chicago consistency in being inconsistent! *Browns-Patriots (✅): I may hate the Browns, but Myles Garret deserves so much better than this. *Giants-Eagles (✅): The Giants look like they're kinda sorta maybe back on track for like 1.75 games, and apparently that's enough for the football gods (and also frankly themselves in last week's case) to bury them with everything including the kitchen sink, complete with the injuries that would come from that. Now it's not even funny anymore, but just sad. *49ers-Texans (❌): We're nearly halfway through and I still have no idea what the hell to make of either of these teams. *Bills-Panthers (✅): Well, at least the MeowMix Memorial Streak was fun while it lasted. *Buccaneers-Saints (✅): Geez, can the Saints even be a good jobber anymore? *Titans-Colts (✅): Yeah, not much of a shock that the Colts are doing a good job at continuing their attempt at a '99 Rams arc against this out-of-tune Nashville pile-up. *Cowboys-Broncos (✅): That defense sure is living up to the second half of the name Dallas(s)! *Packers-Steelers (✅): My defense may be an unslavageable disaster, but at least it's not an absurdly expensive unsalvageable disaster! *Commanders-Chiefs (✅): I don't know whether to feel more annoyance at the Chiefs getting hot again or more complete indifference at the Commanders since losing Jayden. 2025 Week 8 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or still a very nice 69.9%

*Bears-Ravens (❌): Typical Chicago consistency in being inconsistent! *Browns-Patriots (✅): I may hate the Browns, but Myles Garret deserves so much better than this. *Giants-Eagles (✅): The Giants look like they're kinda sorta maybe back on track for like 1.75 games, and apparently that's enough for the football gods (and also frankly themselves in last week's case) to bury them with everything including the kitchen sink, complete with the injuries that would come from that. Now it's not even funny anymore, but just sad. *49ers-Texans (❌): We're nearly halfway through and I still have no idea what the hell to make of either of these teams. *Bills-Panthers (✅): Well, at least the MeowMix Memorial Streak was fun while it lasted. *Buccaneers-Saints (✅): Geez, can the Saints even be a good jobber anymore? *Titans-Colts (✅): Yeah, not much of a shock that the Colts are doing a good job at continuing their attempt at a '99 Rams arc against this out-of-tune Nashville pile-up. *Cowboys-Broncos (✅): That defense sure is living up to the second half of the name Dallas(s)! *Packers-Steelers (✅): My defense may be an unslavageable disaster, but at least it's not an absurdly expensive unsalvageable disaster! *Commanders-Chiefs (✅): I don't know whether to feel more annoyance at the Chiefs getting hot again or more complete indifference at the Commanders since losing Jayden. 2025 Week 8 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or still a very nice 69.9%

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 8 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #picks #week8 #nflweek8 #sortapicks #sortasports

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
4 months ago
*Vikings-Chargers (TNF): Chargers *Dolphins-Falcons: Falcons *Jets-Bengals: Bengals (Wow, it feels too good to be true picking them with confidence for the first time since... I don't even know when!) *Bears-Ravens: Bears *Browns-Patriots: Patriots *Giants-Eagles: Eagles *49ers-Texans: 49ers *Bills-Panthers: Bills *Buccaneers-Saints: Buccaneers *Titans-Colts: Colts *Cowboys-Broncos: Broncos *Packers-Steelers (SNF): Packers *Commanders-Chiefs (MNF): Chiefs 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 75.5/108, or a very nice 69.9% 2024 Week 8 Picks: 13/16, or 81.3%

*Vikings-Chargers (TNF): Chargers *Dolphins-Falcons: Falcons *Jets-Bengals: Bengals (Wow, it feels too good to be true picking them with confidence for the first time since... I don't even know when!) *Bears-Ravens: Bears *Browns-Patriots: Patriots *Giants-Eagles: Eagles *49ers-Texans: 49ers *Bills-Panthers: Bills *Buccaneers-Saints: Buccaneers *Titans-Colts: Colts *Cowboys-Broncos: Broncos *Packers-Steelers (SNF): Packers *Commanders-Chiefs (MNF): Chiefs 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 75.5/108, or a very nice 69.9% 2024 Week 8 Picks: 13/16, or 81.3%

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL Week 8 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #nflweek8 #week8 #sortasports #sortapicks

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
4 months ago
SortaSports: SortaPicks (SUPER LATE) 2025 NFL Week 6 Review *Eagles-Giants (❌): So uhhh that's concerning for Philly. But wow, maybe the Giants could really build off this into something! (Yes, I wrote this AFTER Week 7 lol) *Broncos-Jets (✅): Subjecting Fieldsball to British eyes should be worthy of a trial at the Hague. *Seahawks-Jaguars (❌): Good ol' Jags consistency in being inconsistent, I guess. *Chargers-Dolphins (✅): I've seen rocks sink less rapidly than the Dolphins. *Rams-Ravens (✅): Don't worry, getting Lamar back will solve all your problems, right guys? :D *Cardinals-Colts (✅): Big Red truly is in the red right now. *Cowboys-Panthers (❌): In what's quickly becoming a weird-ass season, Carolina really seems interested in being the weirdest-ass team of all. *Patriots-Saints (✅): The Pats Maye be back. *Browns-Steelers (✅): The Turnpike Rivalry being a pike in Cleveland's side, shocking. *Titans-Raiders (✅): This is literally the 4th time in 5 years where the first overall pick was stuck with a horrible coach whose failure could be seen a mile away and got fired mid-season. Literally when will franchises freaking learn?!? *49ers-Buccaneers (✅): A certain Queen song is becoming very relevant to this era of 49ers football in regards to how often they go down with injury, and despite how close they've come to it, it sure as shit ain't "We Are the Champions". *Bengals-Packers (✅): Well, at least we only looked kinda incompetent and not completely incompetent, I guess? *Lions-Chiefs (❌): Goddamn it, they're actually back maybe. *Bills-Falcons (❌): Uhhh, Bills? You doing okay? *Bears-Commanders (❌): Okay, you're definitely not doing okay, Commanders. 2025 Week 6 Picks: 9/15, or 60% (40% less than Week 6 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-6): 64.5/93, or 69.4% (down 1.8% from last week)

SortaSports: SortaPicks (SUPER LATE) 2025 NFL Week 6 Review *Eagles-Giants (❌): So uhhh that's concerning for Philly. But wow, maybe the Giants could really build off this into something! (Yes, I wrote this AFTER Week 7 lol) *Broncos-Jets (✅): Subjecting Fieldsball to British eyes should be worthy of a trial at the Hague. *Seahawks-Jaguars (❌): Good ol' Jags consistency in being inconsistent, I guess. *Chargers-Dolphins (✅): I've seen rocks sink less rapidly than the Dolphins. *Rams-Ravens (✅): Don't worry, getting Lamar back will solve all your problems, right guys? :D *Cardinals-Colts (✅): Big Red truly is in the red right now. *Cowboys-Panthers (❌): In what's quickly becoming a weird-ass season, Carolina really seems interested in being the weirdest-ass team of all. *Patriots-Saints (✅): The Pats Maye be back. *Browns-Steelers (✅): The Turnpike Rivalry being a pike in Cleveland's side, shocking. *Titans-Raiders (✅): This is literally the 4th time in 5 years where the first overall pick was stuck with a horrible coach whose failure could be seen a mile away and got fired mid-season. Literally when will franchises freaking learn?!? *49ers-Buccaneers (✅): A certain Queen song is becoming very relevant to this era of 49ers football in regards to how often they go down with injury, and despite how close they've come to it, it sure as shit ain't "We Are the Champions". *Bengals-Packers (✅): Well, at least we only looked kinda incompetent and not completely incompetent, I guess? *Lions-Chiefs (❌): Goddamn it, they're actually back maybe. *Bills-Falcons (❌): Uhhh, Bills? You doing okay? *Bears-Commanders (❌): Okay, you're definitely not doing okay, Commanders. 2025 Week 6 Picks: 9/15, or 60% (40% less than Week 6 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-6): 64.5/93, or 69.4% (down 1.8% from last week)

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 7 Recap *Steelers-Bengals (❌): Wait, the Bengals got into another close high-scoring shootout that wasn't decided until the final seconds due to defensive ineptitude on the final drive... and WE were the ones who won? Against Pittsburgh? Wow. I actually forgot how it felt to be on the good side of these. I know this won't amount to anything, but I'm enjoying it while I can! (And also we're somehow not completely out of this division race despite not deserving it one bit lmao) *Rams-Jaguars (✅): Uhhh are the Jags really the best franchise to push to London like it's their alternate home? *Patriots-Titans (✅): Drake Maye bounced back from a bad coach in his rookie year and no help on the O-line to show off his potential in year 2. Cam Ward is just begging to the football gods that the same will hold true for him, because prospects for year 1 in this dump are GRIM. *Saints-Bears (✅): Bears are looking dangerously close to being a competent NFL franchise. I actually can't believe it, damn. *Dolphins-Browns (✅): The Dolphins' locker room sounds more lost than a jewel from the Louvre, geez. *Panthers-Jets (✅): Now I'm kinda pissed at myself for using up all my half-decent plane puns for the Jets failing last year. *Eagles-Vikings (❌): The Eagles did all they could to hand Minnesota the win on a silver platter, and yet both Carson Wentz and also KOC having a foolish amount of faith in Carson Wentz slapped the win back onto Philly's face whether they wanted it or not. *Raiders-Chiefs (✅): How long until the gum is the only thing keeping Pete sane at night? (Week 7 Recap continues on next pic)

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 7 Recap *Steelers-Bengals (❌): Wait, the Bengals got into another close high-scoring shootout that wasn't decided until the final seconds due to defensive ineptitude on the final drive... and WE were the ones who won? Against Pittsburgh? Wow. I actually forgot how it felt to be on the good side of these. I know this won't amount to anything, but I'm enjoying it while I can! (And also we're somehow not completely out of this division race despite not deserving it one bit lmao) *Rams-Jaguars (✅): Uhhh are the Jags really the best franchise to push to London like it's their alternate home? *Patriots-Titans (✅): Drake Maye bounced back from a bad coach in his rookie year and no help on the O-line to show off his potential in year 2. Cam Ward is just begging to the football gods that the same will hold true for him, because prospects for year 1 in this dump are GRIM. *Saints-Bears (✅): Bears are looking dangerously close to being a competent NFL franchise. I actually can't believe it, damn. *Dolphins-Browns (✅): The Dolphins' locker room sounds more lost than a jewel from the Louvre, geez. *Panthers-Jets (✅): Now I'm kinda pissed at myself for using up all my half-decent plane puns for the Jets failing last year. *Eagles-Vikings (❌): The Eagles did all they could to hand Minnesota the win on a silver platter, and yet both Carson Wentz and also KOC having a foolish amount of faith in Carson Wentz slapped the win back onto Philly's face whether they wanted it or not. *Raiders-Chiefs (✅): How long until the gum is the only thing keeping Pete sane at night? (Week 7 Recap continues on next pic)

(Week 7 Recap con't) *Giants-Broncos (✅): One of those unbelievable comebacks where it's hard to find something new about it other than that New York seems to have at least one moment per decade where they have one of the worst chokes of all time and somehow manage to scapegoat someone on special teams every time. (Like yeah, missing 2 big extra points sucks, but was he the only one that gave up 33 points in one quarter? Was that backup longsnapper with the snapfu (followed immediately by a potential missed PI on the holder's desperation heave) the one who blew them a 24-point lead in 20 minutes against a washed 49ers team in the '02 Wild Card? Was the rookie punter with the line drive punt to DeSean (which he briefly fumbled!) the one who blew a 21-point lead in 7 minutes with the division on the line in 2010? I was literally just thinking about stuff like that when this disasterpiece happened. Okay, don't worry, I'll get off my soapbox now lol) *Colts-Chargers (❌): Wow, Chargers just couldn't wait until January or even November to get Chargering, I guess. *Packers-Cardinals (✅): Guess Green Bay still hasn't forgiven them for 51-45 or the Hail Larry after all. *Commanders-Cowboys (❌): You better not be trying to turn Daniels into the next RGIII, I swear. (Week 7 Recap continues on next pic)

(Week 7 Recap con't) *Giants-Broncos (✅): One of those unbelievable comebacks where it's hard to find something new about it other than that New York seems to have at least one moment per decade where they have one of the worst chokes of all time and somehow manage to scapegoat someone on special teams every time. (Like yeah, missing 2 big extra points sucks, but was he the only one that gave up 33 points in one quarter? Was that backup longsnapper with the snapfu (followed immediately by a potential missed PI on the holder's desperation heave) the one who blew them a 24-point lead in 20 minutes against a washed 49ers team in the '02 Wild Card? Was the rookie punter with the line drive punt to DeSean (which he briefly fumbled!) the one who blew a 21-point lead in 7 minutes with the division on the line in 2010? I was literally just thinking about stuff like that when this disasterpiece happened. Okay, don't worry, I'll get off my soapbox now lol) *Colts-Chargers (❌): Wow, Chargers just couldn't wait until January or even November to get Chargering, I guess. *Packers-Cardinals (✅): Guess Green Bay still hasn't forgiven them for 51-45 or the Hail Larry after all. *Commanders-Cowboys (❌): You better not be trying to turn Daniels into the next RGIII, I swear. (Week 7 Recap continues on next pic)

(Week 7 Recap con't) *Falcons-49ers (✅): At this rate, Atlanta could beat the '85 Bears by 31 and then lose to the '09 Rams by 31 the very next week, and I wouldn't be too surprised. *Buccaneers-Lions (✅): Guess reality was gonna set in eventually for Baker and co. *Texans-Seahawks (✅): The only reason Seattle merely flirted with barfing this game to the Texans instead of outright handing it straight to them was that they knew they had to go easy on Seattleites that night hours after George Springer had just broke their hearts and chewed them out and spit them out and then stepped on them and threw them down a sewer and called them names and then laughed. (Yes, that still hurts and I've never even set foot within like 2,300 miles of Seattle lmao) 2025 Week 7 Picks: 11/15, or 73.3% (1.7% less than Week 7 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 75.5/108, or a very nice 69.9% (0.5% higher than last week)

(Week 7 Recap con't) *Falcons-49ers (✅): At this rate, Atlanta could beat the '85 Bears by 31 and then lose to the '09 Rams by 31 the very next week, and I wouldn't be too surprised. *Buccaneers-Lions (✅): Guess reality was gonna set in eventually for Baker and co. *Texans-Seahawks (✅): The only reason Seattle merely flirted with barfing this game to the Texans instead of outright handing it straight to them was that they knew they had to go easy on Seattleites that night hours after George Springer had just broke their hearts and chewed them out and spit them out and then stepped on them and threw them down a sewer and called them names and then laughed. (Yes, that still hurts and I've never even set foot within like 2,300 miles of Seattle lmao) 2025 Week 7 Picks: 11/15, or 73.3% (1.7% less than Week 7 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 75.5/108, or a very nice 69.9% (0.5% higher than last week)

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL Weeks 6 + 7 Recaps (Yes, I procrastinated so much on these last 2 reviews that I'm doing a double feature here lol; 1st pic is Week 6 and the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th pics are Week 7) #nfl #sortasports #sortapicks #nflpicks #nflrecap #picks #week6 #nflweek6 #week7 #nflweek7

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