James Damron

Bluesky is just Twitter’s retirement community

could someone go pee for me. i don't wanna get up

Pro tip: Whenever someone asks you what your weekend plans are just say you are super busy. Otherwise you can find yourself doing what they have in mind because you had no plans.

I’ve only had a couple of rude customers so far today. But I have style. I have grace. I did not punch them in the face.

Next cook: using my brine?

Add a letter, ruin a song

I wanna know what glove is

*types out post*
*anticipates replies*
*deletes post*

Every day I am thankful my balls do not have eyes.

I’m sorry for what I said during sex.

I also have a low-carb version I need to type out.

Feel free to practice screaming my name while you’re in the shower, I don’t mind.

Let’s play a game. I’ll hide and you go fuck yourself.

--The PNP (Pork And Poultry) Brine-- This is geared towards my smoker, but works decent in an oven or crockpot. -Ingredients: 1 Cup Salt 1 Cup Dark Brown Sugar 1 Cup The Rub 1/2 Gallon Apple Juice 12oz Spicy Brown Mustard 1 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar 1) In a 3 quart saucepan, combine 3 cups of apple juice with everything else. Tip: Use the apple juice and vinegar to get all the mustard out of the bottle 2) Gradual whisk over medium heat until a steady simmer, or the spices have dissolve 3) Remove from heat and add ice until brine is cool to the touch, or about room temperature 4) Once cooled, pour brine over the meat. Pour the rest of the apple juice to get brine an inch above the meat. Add more apple juice and/or water to submerge the meat. 5) Store in fridge for minimum of 8 hours up to 24 hours - the longer, the better. 6) When ready to cook the meat, remove from brine, and coat in the dry rub an hour before you're ready to cook.

reddancooking.blogspot.com/2025/03/bbq-... <Dry rubs

I brine them overnight in a mustard based brine then use my own dry rub.

Groovy. Let me know what you think.

Sick of winter but still not sick of seeing woodland creature tracks in fresh snow. Especially the Sasquatch ones.

"Zoom out and establish a shot of spread cheeks, slow motion shot on the jiggle and that's cinema everyone"

"Good work guys"

Sir I’m going to need you act like your hairline and take five steps back

Why like a skeet when you can reskeet it and make someone feel noticed.

WHO THE HELL STOLE MY LUCKY RED BIKINI BRIEF! The one I was wearing when Eric, the hottest PT in the gym, picked me up 😤

Whipped cream.

I always leave a dirty pair behind.

I think most laundromats operate on the "take a pair, leave a pair" policy

They used Gain.

I miss the probing...

i get it, sweatpants drawstring. sometimes i just wanna go crawl in a hole too.

The meanest things the doctor told me today were to start eating healthier and to cut back on coffee. She’s an evil, EVIL woman.

i fanatically workout bc it’s good for me but really it’s so i have the physical strength to stir my jar of natural peanut butter