Deeks 🫶

My husband just got diagnosed with sleep apnea and got a CPAP machine so give me your best Top Gun fantasy scenarios or whatever haha just kidding we haven't flown in the same plane for years, Goose out ✌️

Lame

don’t forget to love fearlessly you piece of shit

I wish my life was as mysterious as one shoe on the side of the highway.

Most of your pet pictures are better looking than your selfies.

👀

Nothing like a good cry to get the depression going

Like this post if you’re a chopped unc

More weed brownies would solve all our problems.

Daylight saving time but it’s just me convincing myself it’s actually 9 pm when it’s 10 pm for the rest of my life.

love the restful, like i got beat up in my sleep feeling

I just need someone I can slap on the ass every morning and say go get ‘em tiger

🫶

Isn't that what this account does?

🤘🤘👀

the heart is a lumpy lopsided fist of a muscle yet I have resisted the urge to hit you with it you're welcome

Ily 🫂

got the surgery where i cum diet coke now

let's frolic on the moon and bury me under moon rocks or nah

a vagina is sometimes called a "beaver" because of the profound way in which it alters its ecosystem

I know that's right! Ba dum tiss

🤘

Heart skittles is perfect

that sounded so much cooler in my mind before i posted it

my brain is doing the running man while my heart does the skittles

Libras are such a grift, I gotta say

Hell yeah 🤘

🫂 every party I went to was blasting Nirvana

😁

🤘