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Posts tagged #NFLRecap

SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 weeks ago
The winner of Super Bowl LX... [Jeff Probst (pretend it's me with my Headcanon Taranza pfp) revealing the Seattle Seahawks as the newest pro football champs] (Cue the Patriots' torch getting snuffed like the 30 before it in the background. Also sorry I couldn't find a transparent wordmark PNG, but credit to SportsLogos.net for their logos.)

The winner of Super Bowl LX... [Jeff Probst (pretend it's me with my Headcanon Taranza pfp) revealing the Seattle Seahawks as the newest pro football champs] (Cue the Patriots' torch getting snuffed like the 30 before it in the background. Also sorry I couldn't find a transparent wordmark PNG, but credit to SportsLogos.net for their logos.)

*Seahawks-Patriots (✅): (First off, definitely the plan to wait until 12 days later to finish this for Seattle. I'm totally not just pure garbage at finishing these Super Bowl recaps in remotely timely fashion as I immediately shift into NASCAR mode! How could you possibly assume that?) Even as someone more tolerant of tense, defensive affairs than many, this was definitely one of the more forgettable Super Bowls in recent memory. But regardless, it was very clear who was ready for the moment and who wasn't. Darnold may not have been Warner on the big stage, but he was also fortunately far from Gannon. He made some nice plays in a few tough spots and overall did what he had to do to complete his redemption arc for the ages (and also in the process make Queens and Minneapolis both want to collectively vomit). Kenneth Walker also had a really solid night, although honestly, he kinda joins the Edelman and 2020 Brady category of guys who mostly won SB MVP because they can't just make it an 11-way tie, because holy hell, was that defense terrific. The Dark Side absolutely consumed New England's hopes all night long in ways that probably gave Foxborough some really rough flashbacks to 1985. That already pretty rough Pats O-line didn't just have absolutely no answers, they didn't even seem to be in the right class. And Drake Maye didn't exactly do much in this Mayeday situation to beat those soft-schedule allegations, although honestly, there's only so much you can blame him with how much he was getting pummeled. (Considering what ball security and distance he showed, maybe the Patriots should have rushed to sign Bad Bunny right before the second half. Fantastic show btw, and I don't even know Spanish.)

*Seahawks-Patriots (✅): (First off, definitely the plan to wait until 12 days later to finish this for Seattle. I'm totally not just pure garbage at finishing these Super Bowl recaps in remotely timely fashion as I immediately shift into NASCAR mode! How could you possibly assume that?) Even as someone more tolerant of tense, defensive affairs than many, this was definitely one of the more forgettable Super Bowls in recent memory. But regardless, it was very clear who was ready for the moment and who wasn't. Darnold may not have been Warner on the big stage, but he was also fortunately far from Gannon. He made some nice plays in a few tough spots and overall did what he had to do to complete his redemption arc for the ages (and also in the process make Queens and Minneapolis both want to collectively vomit). Kenneth Walker also had a really solid night, although honestly, he kinda joins the Edelman and 2020 Brady category of guys who mostly won SB MVP because they can't just make it an 11-way tie, because holy hell, was that defense terrific. The Dark Side absolutely consumed New England's hopes all night long in ways that probably gave Foxborough some really rough flashbacks to 1985. That already pretty rough Pats O-line didn't just have absolutely no answers, they didn't even seem to be in the right class. And Drake Maye didn't exactly do much in this Mayeday situation to beat those soft-schedule allegations, although honestly, there's only so much you can blame him with how much he was getting pummeled. (Considering what ball security and distance he showed, maybe the Patriots should have rushed to sign Bad Bunny right before the second half. Fantastic show btw, and I don't even know Spanish.)

Maye tried to make it interesting again in the 4th, but that defense wasn't letting off the gas, with Uchenna Nwosu joining the likes of Willie Brown, Derrick Brooks, and Tracy Porter in icing a Super Bowl with a pick-six (as all Super Bowls should end if they can't be close, in my humble opinion). 11 years after the Pats ripped the heart out of Seattle with their own pick that doomed the Legion of Boom, there was perhaps no better way for the Dark Side to officially confirm their revenge and exorcise over a decade of Emerald City demons. (Also big shoutout to stellar special teams nights from Michael Dickson and especially Jason Myers, who may have legitimately come closer than damn near any kicker ever to having a real case for Super Bowl MVP.) Mike Vrabel and company definitely have plenty to be proud of with this season and should have a lot to look forward to (although since it's the Patriots, I wish them luck in getting painted as the next great Cinderella run like it's 2001 again lol), but the Seattle Seahawks more than earned their 2nd championship in their 50th season. 12 years later, the 12s lit up the Emerald City night once again.

Maye tried to make it interesting again in the 4th, but that defense wasn't letting off the gas, with Uchenna Nwosu joining the likes of Willie Brown, Derrick Brooks, and Tracy Porter in icing a Super Bowl with a pick-six (as all Super Bowls should end if they can't be close, in my humble opinion). 11 years after the Pats ripped the heart out of Seattle with their own pick that doomed the Legion of Boom, there was perhaps no better way for the Dark Side to officially confirm their revenge and exorcise over a decade of Emerald City demons. (Also big shoutout to stellar special teams nights from Michael Dickson and especially Jason Myers, who may have legitimately come closer than damn near any kicker ever to having a real case for Super Bowl MVP.) Mike Vrabel and company definitely have plenty to be proud of with this season and should have a lot to look forward to (although since it's the Patriots, I wish them luck in getting painted as the next great Cinderella run like it's 2001 again lol), but the Seattle Seahawks more than earned their 2nd championship in their 50th season. 12 years later, the 12s lit up the Emerald City night once again.

Before I sign off for the next (roughly) 200/201 days (depending on how that whole Melbourne Week 1 game thing goes), I'd just like to say that even if I still barely get any views on these posts, I still just love making these so much and I really hope that those who have seen these have enjoyed my second season of SortaPicks (and first with a name). Of the four seasons I've watched the NFL, this one had to be my favorite with just how unpredictable and dramatic it was (even if it meant my actual picks weren't so good), not to mention one of the most all-around thrilling postseasons the league has seen in years (other than a pretty underwhelming finale, obviously). As much as I love NASCAR and all the other sports, I'm still gonna be missing the absurdity of the current NFL and especially making these picks the next 6 months. (Please don't blow it, UFL and rogue-less, soon-to-be-neutered CFL.) But until then, I'm Sorta and I'm sorry you had to read this. Take care of yourselves. Super Bowl LX Pick: 1/1, or 100% 2025/26 Final NFL Picks: 187.5/285 or 65.8% (4.4 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024/25) 2025 NFL Regular Season Picks: 179.5/272, or 66.0% (4.6 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024) 2025/26 NFL Playoffs Picks: 8/13, or 61.5% (exactly the same as 2024/25)

Before I sign off for the next (roughly) 200/201 days (depending on how that whole Melbourne Week 1 game thing goes), I'd just like to say that even if I still barely get any views on these posts, I still just love making these so much and I really hope that those who have seen these have enjoyed my second season of SortaPicks (and first with a name). Of the four seasons I've watched the NFL, this one had to be my favorite with just how unpredictable and dramatic it was (even if it meant my actual picks weren't so good), not to mention one of the most all-around thrilling postseasons the league has seen in years (other than a pretty underwhelming finale, obviously). As much as I love NASCAR and all the other sports, I'm still gonna be missing the absurdity of the current NFL and especially making these picks the next 6 months. (Please don't blow it, UFL and rogue-less, soon-to-be-neutered CFL.) But until then, I'm Sorta and I'm sorry you had to read this. Take care of yourselves. Super Bowl LX Pick: 1/1, or 100% 2025/26 Final NFL Picks: 187.5/285 or 65.8% (4.4 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024/25) 2025 NFL Regular Season Picks: 179.5/272, or 66.0% (4.6 points, or 12.5 games, worse than 2024) 2025/26 NFL Playoffs Picks: 8/13, or 61.5% (exactly the same as 2024/25)

SortaSports: SortaPicks' (late) 2025/26 NFL Super Bowl LX Recap (SortaPicks II Finale)
#nfl #nflrecap #recap #superbowl #superbowllx #superbowl60 #nflplayoffs #playoffs #sblx #sb60 #seahawks #seattleseahawks #sortasports #sortapicks

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
1 month ago
*Patriots-Broncos (❌): Well, Stidham tried his best. For like a quarter. But while Denver has plenty of reason to wonder "what if" over Nix's injury (or for that matter Sean Payton's idiocy on 4th down in the 1st quarter), I don't know if even 2013 Peyton Manning (definitely not 2015 Peyton) could have gotten Denver very far downfield in the 2nd half with that absolute blizzard (god bless the domeless stadiums/gen), as well as the Patriots defense. Boy, have we all slept on that New England defense for too long and the carrying they've had to do. Drake Maye has gotten rocked all postseason (although he at least made some huge plays on his feet), but the Pats defense has still been terrific enough to allow New England to secure a record-extending 12th Super Bowl berth. (For any of my fellow pre-Super Bowl pedantics, this is their 13th championship appearance when counting that 1963 AFL Championship shitshow to San Diego of all teams that made their humiliating Super Bowl XX cameo almost look like a nail-biter. Almost.) And goddamn, do I feel lucky to have not given a shit about football yet in the 2010s or I would be all-in on joining the salt bath lol. (I may be miserable over my team right now, but to flex about how we peaked 4 years ago, I'm just saying, Who else Dey think gonna win the AFC since prime Pokémon Go besides New England and Kansas City?)

*Patriots-Broncos (❌): Well, Stidham tried his best. For like a quarter. But while Denver has plenty of reason to wonder "what if" over Nix's injury (or for that matter Sean Payton's idiocy on 4th down in the 1st quarter), I don't know if even 2013 Peyton Manning (definitely not 2015 Peyton) could have gotten Denver very far downfield in the 2nd half with that absolute blizzard (god bless the domeless stadiums/gen), as well as the Patriots defense. Boy, have we all slept on that New England defense for too long and the carrying they've had to do. Drake Maye has gotten rocked all postseason (although he at least made some huge plays on his feet), but the Pats defense has still been terrific enough to allow New England to secure a record-extending 12th Super Bowl berth. (For any of my fellow pre-Super Bowl pedantics, this is their 13th championship appearance when counting that 1963 AFL Championship shitshow to San Diego of all teams that made their humiliating Super Bowl XX cameo almost look like a nail-biter. Almost.) And goddamn, do I feel lucky to have not given a shit about football yet in the 2010s or I would be all-in on joining the salt bath lol. (I may be miserable over my team right now, but to flex about how we peaked 4 years ago, I'm just saying, Who else Dey think gonna win the AFC since prime Pokémon Go besides New England and Kansas City?)

*Rams-Seahawks (✅): Few rivalries have had years as great recently as Rams-Seahawks in 2025. After two thrillers in the regular season, their rubber match lived up to the hype. It looked like a huge start for Seattle, but once the Rams locked in, we were in for a thriller. Stafford did all he could to keep Los Angeles's title hopes alive, but not only did the Rams' special teams continue to implode, but Sam Darnold showed his comeback in Week 16 wasn't a fluke and finally figured the Rams up. After playing catch-up all night, Stafford almost put the Rams over the top, but just couldn't thread the needle, and the zombie finally went down. The Rams showed their gutsiness even more than usual this entire season, but ultimately, it's the NFC's most complete team this year winning the Lamar Hunt Trophy, and the 12s are now hoping to end a 12-year title drought. And meanwhile Vikings and Jets fans can yet again have plenty to talk about while drowning out their suburbs over Sam Darnold going from yet another Jets bust to worth dumping for Mr. 9 to being a Super Bowl QB. The football gods really are cruel bastards, huh.

*Rams-Seahawks (✅): Few rivalries have had years as great recently as Rams-Seahawks in 2025. After two thrillers in the regular season, their rubber match lived up to the hype. It looked like a huge start for Seattle, but once the Rams locked in, we were in for a thriller. Stafford did all he could to keep Los Angeles's title hopes alive, but not only did the Rams' special teams continue to implode, but Sam Darnold showed his comeback in Week 16 wasn't a fluke and finally figured the Rams up. After playing catch-up all night, Stafford almost put the Rams over the top, but just couldn't thread the needle, and the zombie finally went down. The Rams showed their gutsiness even more than usual this entire season, but ultimately, it's the NFC's most complete team this year winning the Lamar Hunt Trophy, and the 12s are now hoping to end a 12-year title drought. And meanwhile Vikings and Jets fans can yet again have plenty to talk about while drowning out their suburbs over Sam Darnold going from yet another Jets bust to worth dumping for Mr. 9 to being a Super Bowl QB. The football gods really are cruel bastards, huh.

29th and 30th teams voted out and the final 2 members of our jury: Denver Broncos and Los Angeles Rams. The tribe has spoken. [2 more playoff torches and final 2 jury seats taken, Survivor-style] Congratulations, Patriots and Seahawks. You've gone as far as you can in this game. The power now shifts not to the jury of 12 you partially contributed to voting out (they're just there to squirm lol), but to your own skills. Two weeks from now, one more torch will be snuffed and one of you will join immortality. See you in Santa Clara. [Patriots and Seahawks sitting ready to play in their own Final Tribal Council in Santa Clara]

29th and 30th teams voted out and the final 2 members of our jury: Denver Broncos and Los Angeles Rams. The tribe has spoken. [2 more playoff torches and final 2 jury seats taken, Survivor-style] Congratulations, Patriots and Seahawks. You've gone as far as you can in this game. The power now shifts not to the jury of 12 you partially contributed to voting out (they're just there to squirm lol), but to your own skills. Two weeks from now, one more torch will be snuffed and one of you will join immortality. See you in Santa Clara. [Patriots and Seahawks sitting ready to play in their own Final Tribal Council in Santa Clara]

2025/26 NFL Conference Championship Picks: 1/2, or 50% 2025/26 NFL Playoff Picks so far (up to Conference Championships): 7/12, or 58.3% 2025/26 NFL Picks so far (Regular Season + Playoffs): 186.5/284, or 65.7% (4.7 points worse than 2024/25)

2025/26 NFL Conference Championship Picks: 1/2, or 50% 2025/26 NFL Playoff Picks so far (up to Conference Championships): 7/12, or 58.3% 2025/26 NFL Picks so far (Regular Season + Playoffs): 186.5/284, or 65.7% (4.7 points worse than 2024/25)

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025/26 NFL Conference Championship Round Recap
#nfl #nflrecap #nflplayoffs #playoffs #conferencechampionship #superbowl #superbowllx #superbowl60 #patriots #seahawks #sortasports #sortapicks

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
1 month ago
*Rams-Panthers (✅): Damn, the Panthers really almost had a generational upset right there. They may have had some pretty bad goofs in this game, but the Rams frankly had plenty of their own, especially once Stafford's finger got wrecked around halftime. But he finally locked in at the literal last minute, with some help from Carolina running the patented Prevent (Winning) defense, to set up a spectacular game-winner by Colby Parkinson. A most fascinating season for Carolina, I truly think these Cardiac Cats deserve to be remembered as one of the season's defining teams (if for no other reason because of how freaking drunk this season has been for both them and the league as a whole), it'll be interesting to see how the hell the Panthers proceed from here. But while the Rams still look rather shaky compared to about a month ago, they got their revenge from Week 13 and have a date with a somehow even more cardiac club to be discussed later... as in, like 4 words later. Literally now. *Packers-Bears (✅): Matt LaFleur may have confirmed himself as Matt LaFireable with what was both one of the most remarkable comebacks in Bears history and one of the most disastrous implosions in Packers history (just weeks after you could already say the same about their second meeting of the year). The Packers had the knife to the Bears' throats all first half only to spend all second half somehow stabbing themselves instead. But right alongside the Packers totally flaming out was Caleb Williams coming alive with yet another wild rally to cement Chicago's first playoff win in 15 years. This utter implosion for Green Bay, even with the injuries, should spark some serious questions for the Pack's future, especially with how much their longtime punching bag has earned the right to laugh them out of Soldier Field and all the way across the Chicago River.

*Rams-Panthers (✅): Damn, the Panthers really almost had a generational upset right there. They may have had some pretty bad goofs in this game, but the Rams frankly had plenty of their own, especially once Stafford's finger got wrecked around halftime. But he finally locked in at the literal last minute, with some help from Carolina running the patented Prevent (Winning) defense, to set up a spectacular game-winner by Colby Parkinson. A most fascinating season for Carolina, I truly think these Cardiac Cats deserve to be remembered as one of the season's defining teams (if for no other reason because of how freaking drunk this season has been for both them and the league as a whole), it'll be interesting to see how the hell the Panthers proceed from here. But while the Rams still look rather shaky compared to about a month ago, they got their revenge from Week 13 and have a date with a somehow even more cardiac club to be discussed later... as in, like 4 words later. Literally now. *Packers-Bears (✅): Matt LaFleur may have confirmed himself as Matt LaFireable with what was both one of the most remarkable comebacks in Bears history and one of the most disastrous implosions in Packers history (just weeks after you could already say the same about their second meeting of the year). The Packers had the knife to the Bears' throats all first half only to spend all second half somehow stabbing themselves instead. But right alongside the Packers totally flaming out was Caleb Williams coming alive with yet another wild rally to cement Chicago's first playoff win in 15 years. This utter implosion for Green Bay, even with the injuries, should spark some serious questions for the Pack's future, especially with how much their longtime punching bag has earned the right to laugh them out of Soldier Field and all the way across the Chicago River.

*Bills-Jaguars (❌): Of course my only wrong pick for who would get the axe happened to be my AFC champion pick lmao (and this is why I still do the playoffs round-by-round for the actual picks count). I expected Jacksonville to go wild over the Bills defense while Allen and Cook did their best against Duval's great unit, but both defenses were frankly equally up-and-down through the day, That meant it ultimately came down to the quarterbacks, and while Trevor Lawrence showed plenty of growth late in this season, it was the seasoned Josh Allen who propelled Buffalo to victory, capping it off with his first ever(?) playoff game-winning drive. Jacksonville has plenty to be optimistic about, but definitely a disappointing ending for Duval in a season that just feels like it could have been so much more. Buffalo meanwhile is in the strange spot of feeling like they're both playing with house money and running out of chances to get to the dance, but I doubt they mind getting at least one more week to make something happen. *49ers-Eagles (✅): Well, would you look at that. The ineptitude of Sirianni and Patullo (not helped by other factors like a fittingly bricked end to A.J. Brown's Steelers-ass diva arc) was this team's undoing in a total meltdown to this ridiculously resilient 49ers squad. Philly's already in search of yet another head coach, and Sirianni's frankly lucky that even Jeffery Lurie seems to not see that he's the Mike McCarthy of the 2020s. We'll have to see if San Fran holds up in Seattle (they don't exactly have the cheeriest playoff memories there), but they can definitely be proud of this victory, especially Purdy getting his revenge for how his first season ended by throwing the dagger.

*Bills-Jaguars (❌): Of course my only wrong pick for who would get the axe happened to be my AFC champion pick lmao (and this is why I still do the playoffs round-by-round for the actual picks count). I expected Jacksonville to go wild over the Bills defense while Allen and Cook did their best against Duval's great unit, but both defenses were frankly equally up-and-down through the day, That meant it ultimately came down to the quarterbacks, and while Trevor Lawrence showed plenty of growth late in this season, it was the seasoned Josh Allen who propelled Buffalo to victory, capping it off with his first ever(?) playoff game-winning drive. Jacksonville has plenty to be optimistic about, but definitely a disappointing ending for Duval in a season that just feels like it could have been so much more. Buffalo meanwhile is in the strange spot of feeling like they're both playing with house money and running out of chances to get to the dance, but I doubt they mind getting at least one more week to make something happen. *49ers-Eagles (✅): Well, would you look at that. The ineptitude of Sirianni and Patullo (not helped by other factors like a fittingly bricked end to A.J. Brown's Steelers-ass diva arc) was this team's undoing in a total meltdown to this ridiculously resilient 49ers squad. Philly's already in search of yet another head coach, and Sirianni's frankly lucky that even Jeffery Lurie seems to not see that he's the Mike McCarthy of the 2020s. We'll have to see if San Fran holds up in Seattle (they don't exactly have the cheeriest playoff memories there), but they can definitely be proud of this victory, especially Purdy getting his revenge for how his first season ended by throwing the dagger.

*Chargers-Patriots (✅): Yet again, hard to know what to make of playoff Herbert with yet another beaten-up O-line. But regardless, this was an absolute beating for both offenses, yet similar to New England's last playoff win, it simultaneously felt like a sludgy defensive deadlock and like there was absolutely no shot the L.A. team had to beat them. We'll have to see if Drake Maye can get back into the flow (he better if he wants a good shot at THAT Houston D), but New England has some strong momentum to ride for the first time in a whopping 7 years. (How did they survive?) *Texans-Steelers (✅): Oh cool, the Texans stopped the bullshit. The Pittsburgh defense (and also Nick Caley and Stroud's butterfingers) did all they could to make it tense (ngl I was anxious enough to binge the same Angry Birds Toons season I binged during Texans-Chiefs since the hex worked against K.C. that night lol), but ultimately the Texans defense was just too much to overcome once the Steelers remembered they were the Steelers. (Welcome to Steelerball: where the journey is never worth the destination for fans and the destination is hardly worth the journey for haters.) This era of Steelers playoff football is officially stooping to Marvin Lewis levels, and now even Tomlin has decided enough is enough and the Steelers will have to gamble on just their 4th coaching search since the Moon landing. (At least Tomlin seems to be doing the smart thing of going to TV instead of pulling a Harbaugh and going to a sputtering franchise to risk spending 18 weeks throwing his Canton bust into a knocked-down trash can.) As for Houston, they've already set one first with their first road playoff win, but now the real challenge of finally getting to the final four awaits.

*Chargers-Patriots (✅): Yet again, hard to know what to make of playoff Herbert with yet another beaten-up O-line. But regardless, this was an absolute beating for both offenses, yet similar to New England's last playoff win, it simultaneously felt like a sludgy defensive deadlock and like there was absolutely no shot the L.A. team had to beat them. We'll have to see if Drake Maye can get back into the flow (he better if he wants a good shot at THAT Houston D), but New England has some strong momentum to ride for the first time in a whopping 7 years. (How did they survive?) *Texans-Steelers (✅): Oh cool, the Texans stopped the bullshit. The Pittsburgh defense (and also Nick Caley and Stroud's butterfingers) did all they could to make it tense (ngl I was anxious enough to binge the same Angry Birds Toons season I binged during Texans-Chiefs since the hex worked against K.C. that night lol), but ultimately the Texans defense was just too much to overcome once the Steelers remembered they were the Steelers. (Welcome to Steelerball: where the journey is never worth the destination for fans and the destination is hardly worth the journey for haters.) This era of Steelers playoff football is officially stooping to Marvin Lewis levels, and now even Tomlin has decided enough is enough and the Steelers will have to gamble on just their 4th coaching search since the Moon landing. (At least Tomlin seems to be doing the smart thing of going to TV instead of pulling a Harbaugh and going to a sputtering franchise to risk spending 18 weeks throwing his Canton bust into a knocked-down trash can.) As for Houston, they've already set one first with their first road playoff win, but now the real challenge of finally getting to the final four awaits.

19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, and 24th teams voted out and the first 6 members of our jury (that means nothing, it's just adding to the Survivor homage lol): Carolina Panthers, Green Bay Packers, Jacksonville Jaguars, Philadelphia Eagles, Los Angeles Chargers, and Pittsburgh Steelers. [6 torches snuffed and 6 jury seats booked] 2025/26 NFL Wild Card Picks: 5/6, or 83.3% 2025/26 NFL Picks so far (up to Wild Card): 184.5/278, or 66.4% (0.4 percentage points better than last week and 4.1 percentage points worse than last year)

19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, and 24th teams voted out and the first 6 members of our jury (that means nothing, it's just adding to the Survivor homage lol): Carolina Panthers, Green Bay Packers, Jacksonville Jaguars, Philadelphia Eagles, Los Angeles Chargers, and Pittsburgh Steelers. [6 torches snuffed and 6 jury seats booked] 2025/26 NFL Wild Card Picks: 5/6, or 83.3% 2025/26 NFL Picks so far (up to Wild Card): 184.5/278, or 66.4% (0.4 percentage points better than last week and 4.1 percentage points worse than last year)

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025/26 NFL Super Wild Card Weekend Recap
#nfl #nflpicks #picks #recap #nflrecap #wildcard #playoffs #nflplayoffs

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
2 months ago
*Rams-Seahawks (✅): The second time on TNF this year that the Seahawks literally discover a brand new (rule change-induced) way to win an NFL game against a division rival. This time, the first ever walk-off 2-point conversion (I think). And wow, what a way to come from behind and go from looking like frauds to at least on the cusp of the top seed. (And hey, Nacua didn't go for any hospital passes that night, but at least he showed even more dumbassery after the game that thankfully didn't involve any more anti-Semitism!) *Eagles-Commanders (✅): Congrats, Philly. You've won the division basically by default against the underbelly of the league. Now prove that it wasn't just feasting off basement dwellers, or else you're gonna be in for a rude awakening in a couple of weeks. *Packers-Bears (✅): It's crazy how this is literally not too far from how Green Bay used to win against Chicago just a few years ago. But these aren't those Bears, and while we can't quite know if the Bears are for real, it sure feels easier to assume who's anything but now. (Also I think it's officially time for this country to stop sleeping on Kevin Burkhardt.) *Chargers-Cowboys (✅): Again, nice little run you had there, Dallas, but it wasn't gonna last against teams like the Chargers. *Buccaneers-Panthers (✅): Honestly, even if they cock up the momentum and miss the dance, I really hope this Panthers team is immortalized as one of the defining teams of this season in retrospect, if for no other reason than perfectly demonstrating how freaking drunk this year has been. *Vikings-Giants (✅): McCarthy and the Vikings eeking out a run to salvage a .500 record only after any playoff hopes were long set ablaze would be easily one of the funniest potential outcomes of almost any other season, but in this season, I don't know if it'd even hit the podium.

*Rams-Seahawks (✅): The second time on TNF this year that the Seahawks literally discover a brand new (rule change-induced) way to win an NFL game against a division rival. This time, the first ever walk-off 2-point conversion (I think). And wow, what a way to come from behind and go from looking like frauds to at least on the cusp of the top seed. (And hey, Nacua didn't go for any hospital passes that night, but at least he showed even more dumbassery after the game that thankfully didn't involve any more anti-Semitism!) *Eagles-Commanders (✅): Congrats, Philly. You've won the division basically by default against the underbelly of the league. Now prove that it wasn't just feasting off basement dwellers, or else you're gonna be in for a rude awakening in a couple of weeks. *Packers-Bears (✅): It's crazy how this is literally not too far from how Green Bay used to win against Chicago just a few years ago. But these aren't those Bears, and while we can't quite know if the Bears are for real, it sure feels easier to assume who's anything but now. (Also I think it's officially time for this country to stop sleeping on Kevin Burkhardt.) *Chargers-Cowboys (✅): Again, nice little run you had there, Dallas, but it wasn't gonna last against teams like the Chargers. *Buccaneers-Panthers (✅): Honestly, even if they cock up the momentum and miss the dance, I really hope this Panthers team is immortalized as one of the defining teams of this season in retrospect, if for no other reason than perfectly demonstrating how freaking drunk this year has been. *Vikings-Giants (✅): McCarthy and the Vikings eeking out a run to salvage a .500 record only after any playoff hopes were long set ablaze would be easily one of the funniest potential outcomes of almost any other season, but in this season, I don't know if it'd even hit the podium.

*Bills-Browns (✅): I think Twitter probably would have (deservedly) torched itself to the ground if Shedeur happened to have the distinction of being Myles Garret's 23rd sack. *Chiefs-Titans (❌): Wyandotte World: Fallen Kingdom (or alternatively, insert your favorite CaptainSparklez jokes) *Bengals-Dolphins (❌): Yay, we finally had a good convincing win again that means absolutely nothing besides potentially being enough to bail Taylor and Tobin out of well-earned pink slips for yet another year. Yippee. *Jets-Saints (✅): The March to Mendoza continues! *Jaguars-Broncos (❌): I know I'm taking the L on this pick in the end, but frankly, was something like this really a shock for Denver? *Falcons-Cardinals (✅): I'm genuinely starting to wonder if the Cardinals have had more one-score bottlings this year than seasons since ditching Chicago back during the Eisenhower administration where they've provided the NFL much of anything besides mediocrity. *Raiders-Texans (✅): Well, that was certainly concerning for an already shaky Houston offense. *Steelers-Lions (❌): Steeler bullshit remains undefeated for another season, what can I say? Anyway, where's my barf bag? *Patriots-Ravens (✅): Guess Steelers bs is so powerful that even rivals in other games can choke at its will. Like seriously, it's so funny how the modern Ravens are basically just the Falcons in the alternate universe where they won Super Bowl LI by a score of 28-26 after a holding no-call screws the Patriots on the last 2-point try. *49ers-Colts (✅): Beef History: Philip Rivers vs. Philip Rivers's Defenses

*Bills-Browns (✅): I think Twitter probably would have (deservedly) torched itself to the ground if Shedeur happened to have the distinction of being Myles Garret's 23rd sack. *Chiefs-Titans (❌): Wyandotte World: Fallen Kingdom (or alternatively, insert your favorite CaptainSparklez jokes) *Bengals-Dolphins (❌): Yay, we finally had a good convincing win again that means absolutely nothing besides potentially being enough to bail Taylor and Tobin out of well-earned pink slips for yet another year. Yippee. *Jets-Saints (✅): The March to Mendoza continues! *Jaguars-Broncos (❌): I know I'm taking the L on this pick in the end, but frankly, was something like this really a shock for Denver? *Falcons-Cardinals (✅): I'm genuinely starting to wonder if the Cardinals have had more one-score bottlings this year than seasons since ditching Chicago back during the Eisenhower administration where they've provided the NFL much of anything besides mediocrity. *Raiders-Texans (✅): Well, that was certainly concerning for an already shaky Houston offense. *Steelers-Lions (❌): Steeler bullshit remains undefeated for another season, what can I say? Anyway, where's my barf bag? *Patriots-Ravens (✅): Guess Steelers bs is so powerful that even rivals in other games can choke at its will. Like seriously, it's so funny how the modern Ravens are basically just the Falcons in the alternate universe where they won Super Bowl LI by a score of 28-26 after a holding no-call screws the Patriots on the last 2-point try. *49ers-Colts (✅): Beef History: Philip Rivers vs. Philip Rivers's Defenses

14th team voted out: Dallas Cowboys. The tribe has spoken. [1 torch snuffed Survivor-style] Lions, your torch remains alight for at least one more week. 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th teams to win immunity into the 2025 NFL playoffs: Seattle Seahawks, Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears, San Francisco 49ers, New England Patriots, Buffalo Bills, Los Angeles Chargers, and Jacksonville Jaguars! Come on over! (One at a time, though, please. I beg of you.) [8 immunity necklaces awarded] Packers, you'll have to wait at least one more week for immunity.

14th team voted out: Dallas Cowboys. The tribe has spoken. [1 torch snuffed Survivor-style] Lions, your torch remains alight for at least one more week. 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th teams to win immunity into the 2025 NFL playoffs: Seattle Seahawks, Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears, San Francisco 49ers, New England Patriots, Buffalo Bills, Los Angeles Chargers, and Jacksonville Jaguars! Come on over! (One at a time, though, please. I beg of you.) [8 immunity necklaces awarded] Packers, you'll have to wait at least one more week for immunity.

2025 Week 16 Picks: 12/16, or 75% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-16): 161.5/240, or 67.3%

2025 Week 16 Picks: 12/16, or 75% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-16): 161.5/240, or 67.3%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 16 Recap #sortasports #sortapicks #week16 #nflweek16 #nfl #recap #picks #nflpicks #nflrecap

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
2 months ago
*Falcons-Buccaneers (❌): Tampa literally out-Falconed the Falcons lol *Browns-Bears (✅): Even a Bears team this cardiac isn't letting the Browns have any hope. *Cardinals-Texans (✅): With how awesome that Texans defense is compared to how spotty the offense is, this team looks dangerously close to running the 2000s Ravens simulator at this rate. *Commanders-Giants (✅): The Giants barely held onto their Tank Bowl chances here. *Raiders-Eagles (✅): Unfortunately, the Raiders couldn't send us into the ultimate comedy roast and the Eagles now have the division all but won by default. *Jets-Jaguars (✅): Oh hey, at least now T-Law looks as awesome as we all thought he'd be entering the league! *Ravens-Bengals (✅): You think I'd have a truly angry rant like the Jets game one in me now that we're mathematically eliminated, but this season has utterly drained me. All I can say this game, this season, and Burrow questioning if he should stay here is that this entire franchise has spent the last three years reconfirming with authority that the name "Bungles" truly is evergreen, no matter how much Burrow and Chase waste away their wonderful talents trying to prove otherwise. *Chargers-Chiefs (✅): Not only does this woeful season have a firm stake in it, but with that injury to Mahomes and the potential last dance for both Reid and Kelce, it looks all the more likely that this dynasty is ending how most dynasties end: not with a bang, but with a Minshew interception. *Bills-Patriots (❌): Patriots choking a big lead in a potential division clincher to Buffalo feels like some serious Freaky Friday-type shit, even with them still being very close to having that division title back. *Colts-Seahawks (✅): Papa Rivers was so close to having a great story to tell his many grandkids (in like 5 years), but unfortunately, that old San Diego spirit(/neg) manifested into the Colts defense giving up one last Jason Myers kick of doom to potentially jackknife Indy's hopes for good.

*Falcons-Buccaneers (❌): Tampa literally out-Falconed the Falcons lol *Browns-Bears (✅): Even a Bears team this cardiac isn't letting the Browns have any hope. *Cardinals-Texans (✅): With how awesome that Texans defense is compared to how spotty the offense is, this team looks dangerously close to running the 2000s Ravens simulator at this rate. *Commanders-Giants (✅): The Giants barely held onto their Tank Bowl chances here. *Raiders-Eagles (✅): Unfortunately, the Raiders couldn't send us into the ultimate comedy roast and the Eagles now have the division all but won by default. *Jets-Jaguars (✅): Oh hey, at least now T-Law looks as awesome as we all thought he'd be entering the league! *Ravens-Bengals (✅): You think I'd have a truly angry rant like the Jets game one in me now that we're mathematically eliminated, but this season has utterly drained me. All I can say this game, this season, and Burrow questioning if he should stay here is that this entire franchise has spent the last three years reconfirming with authority that the name "Bungles" truly is evergreen, no matter how much Burrow and Chase waste away their wonderful talents trying to prove otherwise. *Chargers-Chiefs (✅): Not only does this woeful season have a firm stake in it, but with that injury to Mahomes and the potential last dance for both Reid and Kelce, it looks all the more likely that this dynasty is ending how most dynasties end: not with a bang, but with a Minshew interception. *Bills-Patriots (❌): Patriots choking a big lead in a potential division clincher to Buffalo feels like some serious Freaky Friday-type shit, even with them still being very close to having that division title back. *Colts-Seahawks (✅): Papa Rivers was so close to having a great story to tell his many grandkids (in like 5 years), but unfortunately, that old San Diego spirit(/neg) manifested into the Colts defense giving up one last Jason Myers kick of doom to potentially jackknife Indy's hopes for good.

*Packers-Broncos (❌): With the hits Green Bay took in this game, we may well see the 27-year-old QB Super Bowl tradition take a fatal blow no matter how hard they try. *Lions-Rams (✅): Damn, we may actually be on the verge of both 15-win teams from last year missing the playoffs. *Panthers-Saints (❌): The Panthers really don't want Lady Chaos to have her way even to their own benefit, huh? *Titans-49ers (✅): The 49ers being simultaneously all but locked into the playoffs and yet just kinda feeling like they have no shot at all at finishing higher than 3rd in this division sounds about right, honestly. *Vikings-Cowboys (❌): Guess Dallas this time didn't even have to wait until the playoffs to have a typical embarrassing home loss to kill their season! *Dolphins-Steelers (❌): Alright, that's on me for expecting these Dolphins to do literally anything in the cold and having any shot at keeping the Steelers from waltzing to yet another deceiving winning record and yet another wasted playoff spot. (Also, damn, is it depressing seeing how much Tua's career has been destroyed by both injuries and this joke of an organization. This benching probably won't end his career completely, but I just want him to get out before it destroys his post-football life.)

*Packers-Broncos (❌): With the hits Green Bay took in this game, we may well see the 27-year-old QB Super Bowl tradition take a fatal blow no matter how hard they try. *Lions-Rams (✅): Damn, we may actually be on the verge of both 15-win teams from last year missing the playoffs. *Panthers-Saints (❌): The Panthers really don't want Lady Chaos to have her way even to their own benefit, huh? *Titans-49ers (✅): The 49ers being simultaneously all but locked into the playoffs and yet just kinda feeling like they have no shot at all at finishing higher than 3rd in this division sounds about right, honestly. *Vikings-Cowboys (❌): Guess Dallas this time didn't even have to wait until the playoffs to have a typical embarrassing home loss to kill their season! *Dolphins-Steelers (❌): Alright, that's on me for expecting these Dolphins to do literally anything in the cold and having any shot at keeping the Steelers from waltzing to yet another deceiving winning record and yet another wasted playoff spot. (Also, damn, is it depressing seeing how much Tua's career has been destroyed by both injuries and this joke of an organization. This benching probably won't end his career completely, but I just want him to get out before it destroys his post-football life.)

10th, 11th, 12th, and 13th teams voted out: Minnesota Vikings, Cincinnati Bengals (mercifully), Kansas City Chiefs (woah I guess), and Miami Dolphins. The tribe has spoken. [4 playoff torches snuffed] Meanwhile (finally), 1st and 2nd teams to win immunity into the 2025 NFL Playoffs: Los Angeles Rams and Denver Broncos! Come on over! [2 playoff immunity necklaces handed out]

10th, 11th, 12th, and 13th teams voted out: Minnesota Vikings, Cincinnati Bengals (mercifully), Kansas City Chiefs (woah I guess), and Miami Dolphins. The tribe has spoken. [4 playoff torches snuffed] Meanwhile (finally), 1st and 2nd teams to win immunity into the 2025 NFL Playoffs: Los Angeles Rams and Denver Broncos! Come on over! [2 playoff immunity necklaces handed out]

2025 Week 15 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-15): 149.5/224, or 66.7%

2025 Week 15 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-15): 149.5/224, or 66.7%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 15 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #picks #week15 #nflweek15 #sortasports #sortapicks

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Cowboys-Lions (✅): Well, cute little run Dallas had of exposing fellow frauds. Too bad the football gods decided they had fucked over Detroit enough times in Lions-Cowboys games and decided to turn it around the other way for once. *Seahawks-Falcons (✅): Behold how not to run a team in the 2nd half of a football game (and also how not to run a wannabe contender in general) *Titans-Browns (❌): As much as I've felt like defending Stefanski for a while (speaking as someone who really doesn't like the Browns), that 2-pointer alone really feels like the dagger. *Commanders-Vikings (❌): At least McCarthy finally had a good game with the season cooked? *Bengals-Bills (✅): It probably doesn't say something good about this team that this may have been one of their most agonizing losses in a season filled with them, and I legit feel absolutely nothing at this point. If anything, I'm glad Josh Allen immediately killed any delusions some dared to have of a Steelers-esque meaningless 9-8 push, so that way there'd be even a slight chance of the band-aid-ripping this franchise badly needs to begin a month from now. *Steelers-Ravens (❌): So, Baltimore, your season may have been ruined by the football gods making their love of the increasingly mid Steelers abundantly clear? First time? *Dolphins-Jets (✅): The Dolphins may be on the single most ignorable hot streak we'll see all season (probably in part because they're feasting on the underbelly of the league). But hey, Tua finally won a game at all in the cold, so may as well celebrate it like it's that 3rd Lombardi Trophy you've spent the last 30 years doing absolutely nothing to get remotely close to. *Saints-Buccaneers (❌): Carolina having a very real shot at this division thanks to Tampa imploding sounds pretty on-brand for this season, honestly. *Colts-Jaguars (✅): Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom-val (Potentially soon to be followed by the surprise sequel... The Bridge on the River Philips?!?)

*Cowboys-Lions (✅): Well, cute little run Dallas had of exposing fellow frauds. Too bad the football gods decided they had fucked over Detroit enough times in Lions-Cowboys games and decided to turn it around the other way for once. *Seahawks-Falcons (✅): Behold how not to run a team in the 2nd half of a football game (and also how not to run a wannabe contender in general) *Titans-Browns (❌): As much as I've felt like defending Stefanski for a while (speaking as someone who really doesn't like the Browns), that 2-pointer alone really feels like the dagger. *Commanders-Vikings (❌): At least McCarthy finally had a good game with the season cooked? *Bengals-Bills (✅): It probably doesn't say something good about this team that this may have been one of their most agonizing losses in a season filled with them, and I legit feel absolutely nothing at this point. If anything, I'm glad Josh Allen immediately killed any delusions some dared to have of a Steelers-esque meaningless 9-8 push, so that way there'd be even a slight chance of the band-aid-ripping this franchise badly needs to begin a month from now. *Steelers-Ravens (❌): So, Baltimore, your season may have been ruined by the football gods making their love of the increasingly mid Steelers abundantly clear? First time? *Dolphins-Jets (✅): The Dolphins may be on the single most ignorable hot streak we'll see all season (probably in part because they're feasting on the underbelly of the league). But hey, Tua finally won a game at all in the cold, so may as well celebrate it like it's that 3rd Lombardi Trophy you've spent the last 30 years doing absolutely nothing to get remotely close to. *Saints-Buccaneers (❌): Carolina having a very real shot at this division thanks to Tampa imploding sounds pretty on-brand for this season, honestly. *Colts-Jaguars (✅): Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom-val (Potentially soon to be followed by the surprise sequel... The Bridge on the River Philips?!?)

*Broncos-Raiders (✅): Funny as hell how this technically went down as yet another one-score win for Denver because of Vegas putting together a clutch garbage time drive to only lose by 7. (I know everyone's made their gambling jokes and theories about it, but I'll be all generous and say it's just fate ordaining that the 2025 Broncos must never win a football game by more than one score.) *Bears-Packers (✅): Turns out no matter how promising Chicago is right now, it's still very apparent who owns who. *Rams-Cardinals (✅): As easy a get-right game as you can find. *Texans-Chiefs (✅): Damn. This may actually be it. The age of the Chiefs may have actually ended where it all started: with a dumbass 4th down call in a Texans game. *Eagles-Chargers (✅): So uhhh clearly I used my whole Madden joke from the 49ers-Panthers game 2 Mondays ago way too early. Imagine that on a drug cocktail (or a sugar rush in the case of the little sibling). A true masterclass of football comedy where Monstropolis can barely come close to portraying its absurdity in full glory and there are no winners, only survivors. And it sure as shit isn't the team that had 2 of the combined 3 turnovers on a single goddamn play lmao

*Broncos-Raiders (✅): Funny as hell how this technically went down as yet another one-score win for Denver because of Vegas putting together a clutch garbage time drive to only lose by 7. (I know everyone's made their gambling jokes and theories about it, but I'll be all generous and say it's just fate ordaining that the 2025 Broncos must never win a football game by more than one score.) *Bears-Packers (✅): Turns out no matter how promising Chicago is right now, it's still very apparent who owns who. *Rams-Cardinals (✅): As easy a get-right game as you can find. *Texans-Chiefs (✅): Damn. This may actually be it. The age of the Chiefs may have actually ended where it all started: with a dumbass 4th down call in a Texans game. *Eagles-Chargers (✅): So uhhh clearly I used my whole Madden joke from the 49ers-Panthers game 2 Mondays ago way too early. Imagine that on a drug cocktail (or a sugar rush in the case of the little sibling). A true masterclass of football comedy where Monstropolis can barely come close to portraying its absurdity in full glory and there are no winners, only survivors. And it sure as shit isn't the team that had 2 of the combined 3 turnovers on a single goddamn play lmao

(More body bags!) 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th teams voted out of the 2025 playoff race: Washington Commanders, Atlanta Falcons, New York Jets, and Cleveland Browns. The tribe has spoken. [4 more playoff torches get snuffed a la Survivor] Vikings, your torch remains alight for at least one more week. 2025 Week 14 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-14): 139.5/208, or 67.1%

(More body bags!) 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th teams voted out of the 2025 playoff race: Washington Commanders, Atlanta Falcons, New York Jets, and Cleveland Browns. The tribe has spoken. [4 more playoff torches get snuffed a la Survivor] Vikings, your torch remains alight for at least one more week. 2025 Week 14 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-14): 139.5/208, or 67.1%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 14 Recap #nfl #nflpicks #nflrecap #picks #recap #week14 #nflweek14 #sortasports #sortapicks (btw I did the math and I believe I've already clinched getting at least over 50% of all regular season picks right, which is more than I can say for the Eagles rn lol)

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@informnewstoday.bsky.social
3 months ago
Post image

Eagles-Chargers on 'Monday Night Football': What We Learned from Los Angeles' 22-19 win
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#MNF #MondayNightFootball #NFL #BoltUp #ChargersWin #ChargersNation #LAChargers #FlyEaglesFly #EaglesFootball #EaglesNation #WhatWeLearned #GameTakeaways #NFLRecap #EaglesVsChargers #22to19

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Packers-Lions (❌): Turns out other than Ebeflus's Chi-legendary flameout cameo, the Calvin Johnson Thanksgiving Curse is very much alive in Detroit. And now it's becoming a genuine concern if the same will hold true for the Bobby Layne Curse longer than quite a few of us expected not too long ago. *Chiefs-Cowboys (❌): All I can say about Kansas City is that you know people are ready to see you knocked down a peg or so when the country was rooting for the damn Cowboys to knock you down. *Bengals-Ravens (❌): You have no idea how long it feels like it's been since we just had a good, solid, convincing win, and I'll enjoy it while it lasts. (Even if any sort of last-ditch hot streak is definitely far too little, far too late to matter in the long run besides having the horrific side effect of getting Taylor and Tobin extended another 5 years by that nepo baby dunce drolling about in the Patcor suite ugh) *Bears-Eagles (✅): Hey, it wasn't just Upset-itis that prompted me to make this pick. The Eagles have all the earmarks of a team ready to implode, especially with the buffoons they have at HC and OC. They look so dreadful now that I honestly have even less of an idea of how we can judge the Bears, but damn, what a dream season for them after the last 6 years of crap! *Jaguars-Titans (✅): Most normal Jaguars win in a while because the Titans are just that useless. *49ers-Browns (✅): San Fran needed to stay in this dogfight of a division and did exactly what they needed to. (Also insert Shedeur Sanders headline again) *Texans-Colts (❌): We saw a great display of momentum changing in this division and an even greater display of refball at damn near its very finest! *Falcons-Jets (❌): It's actually crazy just how good the Falcons franchise is at never going anywhere no matter how much they go into a season swearing this will be different.

*Packers-Lions (❌): Turns out other than Ebeflus's Chi-legendary flameout cameo, the Calvin Johnson Thanksgiving Curse is very much alive in Detroit. And now it's becoming a genuine concern if the same will hold true for the Bobby Layne Curse longer than quite a few of us expected not too long ago. *Chiefs-Cowboys (❌): All I can say about Kansas City is that you know people are ready to see you knocked down a peg or so when the country was rooting for the damn Cowboys to knock you down. *Bengals-Ravens (❌): You have no idea how long it feels like it's been since we just had a good, solid, convincing win, and I'll enjoy it while it lasts. (Even if any sort of last-ditch hot streak is definitely far too little, far too late to matter in the long run besides having the horrific side effect of getting Taylor and Tobin extended another 5 years by that nepo baby dunce drolling about in the Patcor suite ugh) *Bears-Eagles (✅): Hey, it wasn't just Upset-itis that prompted me to make this pick. The Eagles have all the earmarks of a team ready to implode, especially with the buffoons they have at HC and OC. They look so dreadful now that I honestly have even less of an idea of how we can judge the Bears, but damn, what a dream season for them after the last 6 years of crap! *Jaguars-Titans (✅): Most normal Jaguars win in a while because the Titans are just that useless. *49ers-Browns (✅): San Fran needed to stay in this dogfight of a division and did exactly what they needed to. (Also insert Shedeur Sanders headline again) *Texans-Colts (❌): We saw a great display of momentum changing in this division and an even greater display of refball at damn near its very finest! *Falcons-Jets (❌): It's actually crazy just how good the Falcons franchise is at never going anywhere no matter how much they go into a season swearing this will be different.

*Rams-Panthers (❌): WHO THE HELL EVEN WANTS TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL ANYMORE?!? LIKE ARE ALL 1,696 OF YOU PLAYERS ACTUALLY THAT SCARED OF NAVIGATING SANTA CLARA TRAFFIC AGAIN?!? WHAT EVEN IS THIS SEASON?!? *Saints-Dolphins (✅): The Dolphins nearly had one of the quietest historic collapses ever, but it turns out that the Saints are too pathetic to do anything interesting even when nobody's watching. *Cardinals-Buccaneers (✅): Good news, Tampa! Despite Todd Bowles's best efforts, Baker's arm isn't completely baked! And thanks to the Cardinals in one-score games being the Cardinals in one-score games, you sneak out with the win for at least a little breathing room! Just remember, however, that Cats in mirror may be closer than they appear. *Vikings-Seahawks (✅): I'd say that the Vikes' pain this year has been taken to the Max, but this is fucking Minnesota so I'm not even sure if this cracks their top 5 most painful seasons this century. *Raiders-Chargers (✅): Not even Brock Bowers making what stood for like 2 hours as the unquestioned best catch of the year against an AFC West team (honestly, I still think it has a case, holy shit) was anywhere close to enough to save Vegas as the Chargers reaffirmed their spot as this division's 2nd best hope of burying the Chiefs. *Bills-Steelers (✅): This can't be it, right? It has to be too good to be true. The Steelers may NOT bullshit into another 9-8 Super Bowl? No, don't celebrate yet. But damn, does it feel so close, yet so far away.

*Rams-Panthers (❌): WHO THE HELL EVEN WANTS TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL ANYMORE?!? LIKE ARE ALL 1,696 OF YOU PLAYERS ACTUALLY THAT SCARED OF NAVIGATING SANTA CLARA TRAFFIC AGAIN?!? WHAT EVEN IS THIS SEASON?!? *Saints-Dolphins (✅): The Dolphins nearly had one of the quietest historic collapses ever, but it turns out that the Saints are too pathetic to do anything interesting even when nobody's watching. *Cardinals-Buccaneers (✅): Good news, Tampa! Despite Todd Bowles's best efforts, Baker's arm isn't completely baked! And thanks to the Cardinals in one-score games being the Cardinals in one-score games, you sneak out with the win for at least a little breathing room! Just remember, however, that Cats in mirror may be closer than they appear. *Vikings-Seahawks (✅): I'd say that the Vikes' pain this year has been taken to the Max, but this is fucking Minnesota so I'm not even sure if this cracks their top 5 most painful seasons this century. *Raiders-Chargers (✅): Not even Brock Bowers making what stood for like 2 hours as the unquestioned best catch of the year against an AFC West team (honestly, I still think it has a case, holy shit) was anywhere close to enough to save Vegas as the Chargers reaffirmed their spot as this division's 2nd best hope of burying the Chiefs. *Bills-Steelers (✅): This can't be it, right? It has to be too good to be true. The Steelers may NOT bullshit into another 9-8 Super Bowl? No, don't celebrate yet. But damn, does it feel so close, yet so far away.

*Broncos-Commanders (✅): A game that looked worthy of a flex going in became one of the Games of the Year, with Treylon Burks of all people coming out of nowhere to make the other best catch of the year against an AFC West team (and also at least a top 2 one-handed grab in SNF history). In the end, despite how suspect Denver continues to look, they ultimately locked down by the slimmest of margins, in the process all but assuring both their own return trip to postseason ball in January and especially Washington's delayed return trip to the fishing docks in January despite a great fight from Marcus Mariota and company. *Giants-Patriots (✅): I'm afraid there were no Helmet Catches to save the G-Men this time around, and the same may very well be said about saving us from a deep Pats run just like in the days of Brady.

*Broncos-Commanders (✅): A game that looked worthy of a flex going in became one of the Games of the Year, with Treylon Burks of all people coming out of nowhere to make the other best catch of the year against an AFC West team (and also at least a top 2 one-handed grab in SNF history). In the end, despite how suspect Denver continues to look, they ultimately locked down by the slimmest of margins, in the process all but assuring both their own return trip to postseason ball in January and especially Washington's delayed return trip to the fishing docks in January despite a great fight from Marcus Mariota and company. *Giants-Patriots (✅): I'm afraid there were no Helmet Catches to save the G-Men this time around, and the same may very well be said about saving us from a deep Pats run just like in the days of Brady.

(Bring out the body bags, and lots of them) 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th teams voted out of the 2025 playoff race: Arizona Cardinals, New Orleans Saints, Tennessee Titans, and Las Vegas Raiders. The tribe has spoken. [torches snuffed Survivor-style] Commanders and Jets, your torches remain alight for at least one more week. 2025 Week 13 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-13): 129.5/194, or 66.8%

(Bring out the body bags, and lots of them) 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th teams voted out of the 2025 playoff race: Arizona Cardinals, New Orleans Saints, Tennessee Titans, and Las Vegas Raiders. The tribe has spoken. [torches snuffed Survivor-style] Commanders and Jets, your torches remain alight for at least one more week. 2025 Week 13 Picks: 10/16, or 62.5% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-13): 129.5/194, or 66.8%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 13 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #week13 #nflweek13 #sortapicks #sortasports

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Lina Jara
Lina Jara
@amelialily78.bsky.social
3 months ago
Post image

🎀Bengals' Joe Burrow has 2 TDs in 1st game since September!
💌Read More 💌 shorturl.at/xn7qD

#NFL #NFLNews #NFLHighlights #NFLUpdates #NFL2025 #JoeBurrow #Bengals #CincinnatiBengals #BurrowReturns #BurrowIsBack #BengalsVsRavens #NFLGameDay #NFLRecap #BengalsWin

0 0 0 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Jets-Patriots (✅): Drake Maye be too good for these recaps, because in case you couldn't tell, my whole schtick with his name may (or is it "Maye"?) be wearing out its welcome. (Although at least it can't be as bad as the Jets, right, guys? Right?) *Commanders-Dolphins (❌): McDaniel had to have had one of the most fireable winning games ever, ¿estoy en lo cierto? (Please tell me Google Translate didn't fail me there.) *Texans-Titans (✅): The once-scorned city at least got the better of the diet Bud Adams Bowl, although it certainly is damning that it was as close as it was. *Bears-Vikings (❌): Even with McCarthy in essence not really being a sophomore in this Sophomore Bowl, wow, was it apparent who was more ready for the big time in this division in the end, even with the late rally. *Panthers-Falcons (❌): Shockingly, Carolina makes it look more and more likely that they actually managed to channel the ghosts of Cardiac Cats' past. (I mean, that team also happened to be two years removed from a Heisman-helmed 15-loss trainwreck, and look how they turned out!) And perhaps not so shockingly, yet another once-promising Falcons season has now spiraled into the abyss, especially now that Penix is out and they're stuck riding it out with their 180-million-dollar mistake. *Packers-Giants (✅): Honestly, the fact that Cooked Russ and his wrecked team's brand new interim coach came as close as they did to winning may be just as scathing an indictment of the Packers as any of their recent losses. *Chargers-Jaguars (❌): I knew both of these teams were increasingly inconsistent, but woof, this feels even more concerning for the Bolts than it feels encouraging for the Jags.

*Jets-Patriots (✅): Drake Maye be too good for these recaps, because in case you couldn't tell, my whole schtick with his name may (or is it "Maye"?) be wearing out its welcome. (Although at least it can't be as bad as the Jets, right, guys? Right?) *Commanders-Dolphins (❌): McDaniel had to have had one of the most fireable winning games ever, ¿estoy en lo cierto? (Please tell me Google Translate didn't fail me there.) *Texans-Titans (✅): The once-scorned city at least got the better of the diet Bud Adams Bowl, although it certainly is damning that it was as close as it was. *Bears-Vikings (❌): Even with McCarthy in essence not really being a sophomore in this Sophomore Bowl, wow, was it apparent who was more ready for the big time in this division in the end, even with the late rally. *Panthers-Falcons (❌): Shockingly, Carolina makes it look more and more likely that they actually managed to channel the ghosts of Cardiac Cats' past. (I mean, that team also happened to be two years removed from a Heisman-helmed 15-loss trainwreck, and look how they turned out!) And perhaps not so shockingly, yet another once-promising Falcons season has now spiraled into the abyss, especially now that Penix is out and they're stuck riding it out with their 180-million-dollar mistake. *Packers-Giants (✅): Honestly, the fact that Cooked Russ and his wrecked team's brand new interim coach came as close as they did to winning may be just as scathing an indictment of the Packers as any of their recent losses. *Chargers-Jaguars (❌): I knew both of these teams were increasingly inconsistent, but woof, this feels even more concerning for the Bolts than it feels encouraging for the Jags.

*Bengals-Steelers (✅): The Steelers indeed won by default, but only by dropping 34 and not 70. And this is why you don't gamble, kids. More importantly, whatever's going on with Chase is why you don't spit on people, kids, because that's just gross. Even more importantly than any of that, you also shouldn't be Bengals fans, kids. It'll make you long for the days of your first boo-boo. *Buccaneers-Bills (❌): It'd probably feel a little too harsh to call this a Fraud Bowl, but it was still clear that both of these teams needed to perform going in, and at least they both sure did defensively in a classic case of a game far more fun than its final score would indicate. *49ers-Cardinals (✅): In what could have been the first Soft Benching Bowl with that name, Purdy instead came back just in time to do all he needed to against this flightless flock. *Seahawks-Rams (❌): Despite the Hawks' best efforts late, this game ultimately reaffirmed both who's boss in this division and why McDarnold's was sold off for cheap at the turn of the fiscal year. *Chiefs-Broncos (❌): As this latest Nixing proved, the football gods clearly realized they fucked up with their little Chiefs experiment last year and have now decided that the only way to make up for last season was to completely turn the tables on KC with one-score games. *Ravens-Browns (✅): Goddamn it, the Ravens are back. And now the Sheduer stans are out in full force after a debut (admittedly not a comfortably-timed one) that would make even Johnny Football queasy. *Lions-Eagles (❌): Such a deflating offensive performance that even if one of the worst PI calls of all time didn't happen, I'm not so sure if the Lions really have a shot at this one. *Cowboys-Raiders (✅): Considering what that Dallas locker room had gone through the week before, this is the definition of a win deserved in more ways than just football. I know Marshawn would be proud of how his brothers-in-arms played on Monday night.

*Bengals-Steelers (✅): The Steelers indeed won by default, but only by dropping 34 and not 70. And this is why you don't gamble, kids. More importantly, whatever's going on with Chase is why you don't spit on people, kids, because that's just gross. Even more importantly than any of that, you also shouldn't be Bengals fans, kids. It'll make you long for the days of your first boo-boo. *Buccaneers-Bills (❌): It'd probably feel a little too harsh to call this a Fraud Bowl, but it was still clear that both of these teams needed to perform going in, and at least they both sure did defensively in a classic case of a game far more fun than its final score would indicate. *49ers-Cardinals (✅): In what could have been the first Soft Benching Bowl with that name, Purdy instead came back just in time to do all he needed to against this flightless flock. *Seahawks-Rams (❌): Despite the Hawks' best efforts late, this game ultimately reaffirmed both who's boss in this division and why McDarnold's was sold off for cheap at the turn of the fiscal year. *Chiefs-Broncos (❌): As this latest Nixing proved, the football gods clearly realized they fucked up with their little Chiefs experiment last year and have now decided that the only way to make up for last season was to completely turn the tables on KC with one-score games. *Ravens-Browns (✅): Goddamn it, the Ravens are back. And now the Sheduer stans are out in full force after a debut (admittedly not a comfortably-timed one) that would make even Johnny Football queasy. *Lions-Eagles (❌): Such a deflating offensive performance that even if one of the worst PI calls of all time didn't happen, I'm not so sure if the Lions really have a shot at this one. *Cowboys-Raiders (✅): Considering what that Dallas locker room had gone through the week before, this is the definition of a win deserved in more ways than just football. I know Marshawn would be proud of how his brothers-in-arms played on Monday night.

2025 Week 11 Picks: 7/15, or 46.7% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-11): 109.5/164, or 66.8%

2025 Week 11 Picks: 7/15, or 46.7% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-11): 109.5/164, or 66.8%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 11 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #nflweek11 #week11 #sortasports #sortapicks

0 0 0 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
3 months ago
*Raiders-Broncos (✅): Bringing it back to 2022 with utterly unwatchable TNF games, I see! *Falcons-Colts (✅): Jonathan Taylor really doing all he can to end the non-QB MVP drought *Jaguars-Texans (❌): If you thought the AFC South couldn't get any weirder, how about the Jags having their most epic choke ever and letting General Mills play the hero in 2025 for a Texans team on the brink! *Bills-Dolphins (❌): Well uhhh that's concerning, Buffalo! *Browns-Jets (❌): Are the Jets just gonna sweep Ohio and absolutely nobody else? (Speaking of, the 2nd and potentially final week of the season where I don't pick the Bengals to lose! That's entirely because it's their bye week, but just let me have this, damn it.) *Patriots-Buccaneers (✅): The winner of the Ex-Brady Bowl would fittingly be the team that got a lot more of Brady. *Saints-Panthers (❌): MeowMix's Favre-esque back-and-forth unsacrificing and resacrificing is being reflected in how inconsistent the Panthers keep being. *Giants-Bears (✅): Yet another game where everything has gone wrong for the Giants, enough so to spell the end of the bizarre Daboll era. (Meanwhile, is everything going right for the Bears now? Sure, why not.) *Ravens-Vikings (❌): The Vikings have never beaten the Ravens without eventually making the NFC Championship the same year. But they've also never made the playoffs after losing to the Ravens in the same year, so uhhh make what you will of their chances for this season now after this flop. *Cardinals-Seahawks (✅): This Bird Bowl was more like a pack of vultures ripping apart their disheveled prey without even bothering to check if they're too dead to care or not. *Rams-49ers (✅): I mean, what did we think was gonna happen with how beat up San Fran is?

*Raiders-Broncos (✅): Bringing it back to 2022 with utterly unwatchable TNF games, I see! *Falcons-Colts (✅): Jonathan Taylor really doing all he can to end the non-QB MVP drought *Jaguars-Texans (❌): If you thought the AFC South couldn't get any weirder, how about the Jags having their most epic choke ever and letting General Mills play the hero in 2025 for a Texans team on the brink! *Bills-Dolphins (❌): Well uhhh that's concerning, Buffalo! *Browns-Jets (❌): Are the Jets just gonna sweep Ohio and absolutely nobody else? (Speaking of, the 2nd and potentially final week of the season where I don't pick the Bengals to lose! That's entirely because it's their bye week, but just let me have this, damn it.) *Patriots-Buccaneers (✅): The winner of the Ex-Brady Bowl would fittingly be the team that got a lot more of Brady. *Saints-Panthers (❌): MeowMix's Favre-esque back-and-forth unsacrificing and resacrificing is being reflected in how inconsistent the Panthers keep being. *Giants-Bears (✅): Yet another game where everything has gone wrong for the Giants, enough so to spell the end of the bizarre Daboll era. (Meanwhile, is everything going right for the Bears now? Sure, why not.) *Ravens-Vikings (❌): The Vikings have never beaten the Ravens without eventually making the NFC Championship the same year. But they've also never made the playoffs after losing to the Ravens in the same year, so uhhh make what you will of their chances for this season now after this flop. *Cardinals-Seahawks (✅): This Bird Bowl was more like a pack of vultures ripping apart their disheveled prey without even bothering to check if they're too dead to care or not. *Rams-49ers (✅): I mean, what did we think was gonna happen with how beat up San Fran is?

*Lions-Commanders (✅): Maybe Mr. "Name the Stadium After Me" is a kiss of death for any team he's rooting for and happens to see live. (Also I'd say we dodged a bullet never having him be a real commentator, but considering what he's doing with his life instead, maybe that timeline isn't so bad for anything but our ears.) *Steelers-Chargers (✅): Steelers playing down to their potential and Chargers playing up to their potential. Exactly as the world should be! (Yeah, so the next week was fucking painful in both those regards lol) *Eagles-Packers (❌): 55 minutes of ugliness followed by 5 minutes of making you wonder how the hell both these coaches are considered favorites to reach the Super Bowl. 2025 Week 10 Picks: 8/14, or 57.1% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-10): 102.5/149, or 68.8%

*Lions-Commanders (✅): Maybe Mr. "Name the Stadium After Me" is a kiss of death for any team he's rooting for and happens to see live. (Also I'd say we dodged a bullet never having him be a real commentator, but considering what he's doing with his life instead, maybe that timeline isn't so bad for anything but our ears.) *Steelers-Chargers (✅): Steelers playing down to their potential and Chargers playing up to their potential. Exactly as the world should be! (Yeah, so the next week was fucking painful in both those regards lol) *Eagles-Packers (❌): 55 minutes of ugliness followed by 5 minutes of making you wonder how the hell both these coaches are considered favorites to reach the Super Bowl. 2025 Week 10 Picks: 8/14, or 57.1% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-10): 102.5/149, or 68.8%

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 (VERY LATE) Week 10 Recap (I know, I'm so goddamn slow lol) #nfl #nflpicks #nflrecap #sortapicks #sortasports

0 0 0 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
4 months ago
*Ravens-Dolphins (✅): Easy target for a get-right game. *Bears-Bengals (✅): My 4th full year being a fan of this team and I'm already becoming numb to shit like this. *Falcons-Patriots (✅): Patriots will never stop haunting the Falcons, I see. *49ers-Giants (✅): 49ers are showing just how banged-up you can be to still have a shot at a division. *Colts-Steelers (❌): They're just that immune to a cold streak before they've clinched 9 wins apparently. *Chargers-Titans (✅): Yep, this Wild Card loss is going to be painful once all the injuries are too much to ignore. *Vikings-Lions (❌): Vikings are too strange to fold that easily. *Panthers-Packers (❌): Cardiac Cats are back for a new generation! *Broncos-Texans (✅): Houston really wants to be the anti-Bengals, I guess. *Saints-Rams (✅): Rams continue to be the dark horse. *Jaguars-Raiders (✅): So Jaguars to not just win the first-ever multi-touchdown overtime, but to win on such a weird deflection and break the field goal record to make Justin Tucker wince even more this year! (Also pretty Raiders for them to literally invent a new way to lose an NFL game like that lol) *Chiefs-Bills (✅): Bills own them in the regular season, yadda yadda, how will it hurt in January this time? *Seahawks-Commanders (✅): Already a disaster night for Washington even before Daniels (in garbage time?!?) got that much more dangerously close to being the new RGIII. *Cardinals-Cowboys (❌): Cardinals got the win they absolutely needed. In light of what happened this morning with one of these two teams, though, that's honestly all that feels right to say about this game, if it even matters anyway. 2025 Week 9 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 94.5/135, or a less nice, but exact 70%

*Ravens-Dolphins (✅): Easy target for a get-right game. *Bears-Bengals (✅): My 4th full year being a fan of this team and I'm already becoming numb to shit like this. *Falcons-Patriots (✅): Patriots will never stop haunting the Falcons, I see. *49ers-Giants (✅): 49ers are showing just how banged-up you can be to still have a shot at a division. *Colts-Steelers (❌): They're just that immune to a cold streak before they've clinched 9 wins apparently. *Chargers-Titans (✅): Yep, this Wild Card loss is going to be painful once all the injuries are too much to ignore. *Vikings-Lions (❌): Vikings are too strange to fold that easily. *Panthers-Packers (❌): Cardiac Cats are back for a new generation! *Broncos-Texans (✅): Houston really wants to be the anti-Bengals, I guess. *Saints-Rams (✅): Rams continue to be the dark horse. *Jaguars-Raiders (✅): So Jaguars to not just win the first-ever multi-touchdown overtime, but to win on such a weird deflection and break the field goal record to make Justin Tucker wince even more this year! (Also pretty Raiders for them to literally invent a new way to lose an NFL game like that lol) *Chiefs-Bills (✅): Bills own them in the regular season, yadda yadda, how will it hurt in January this time? *Seahawks-Commanders (✅): Already a disaster night for Washington even before Daniels (in garbage time?!?) got that much more dangerously close to being the new RGIII. *Cardinals-Cowboys (❌): Cardinals got the win they absolutely needed. In light of what happened this morning with one of these two teams, though, that's honestly all that feels right to say about this game, if it even matters anyway. 2025 Week 9 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 94.5/135, or a less nice, but exact 70%

SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 9 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #recap #week9 #nflweek9 #sortasports #sortapicks

0 0 0 0
news99
news99
@usanews9.bsky.social
4 months ago
Preview
Cardinals’ Masterclass: How Arizona Outplayed Dallas.Watch Recap Now The Dallas Cowboys' offense struggled in their 27-17 loss to the Arizona Cardinals, with quarterback Dak Prescott being sacked five times and the team failing to score a touchdown until the fourth qua...

Arizona on Fire! "The Cardinals' masterclass win over the Cowboys is a must-watch! shorturl.at/iHZpj #NFLRecap #CardinalsWin"

0 0 0 0
SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
4 months ago
*Vikings-Chargers (✅): Well, as if the story of Wentz couldn't get more depressing. *Dolphins-Falcons (❌): LMAO I guess i kinda called it when I said the '09 Rams could beat these guys by 31 the week after they'd beat the '85 Bears by 31. *Jets-Bengals (❌): Because this pathetic franchise doesn't deserve another original thought this week (other than how deserving it would be if this was the only team to lose to the Jets all year), I'll just copy-paste my rant to my fellow young, but battered Bengals fan friend after this disaster: "Pardon the language turnaround, but this franchise is a fucking joke. I finally have enough trust in them to pick them to win a football game this year against one of the worst quarterbacks of the decade and the coach who ran out the clock right after a fake punt, and this is what happens. A defense that would make the worst offenses from 100 years ago running on pure bathtub booze look like the 2007 Patriots on steroids too powerful for Barry Bonds. Joe Burrow needs to wake up, smell the monster, and flee to a franchise that even remotely deserves him. He deserves to do what Stafford did against us and win a Super Bowl on a franchise that isn't a goddamn meme. And if we happen to somehow be good enough to play in that Super Bowl years later, we deserve to lose. We deserve to get fucking diced to pieces at a 1989 Broncos level by the QB we almost destroyed and Mike Brown deserves to get his incompetence rubbed in his face if it's the last game he ever watches from the owner's box too fancy to deserve his crusty, cheap ass. I hate loving this team so much." [breathes for a little bit] ... Okay, back to the show! :D

*Vikings-Chargers (✅): Well, as if the story of Wentz couldn't get more depressing. *Dolphins-Falcons (❌): LMAO I guess i kinda called it when I said the '09 Rams could beat these guys by 31 the week after they'd beat the '85 Bears by 31. *Jets-Bengals (❌): Because this pathetic franchise doesn't deserve another original thought this week (other than how deserving it would be if this was the only team to lose to the Jets all year), I'll just copy-paste my rant to my fellow young, but battered Bengals fan friend after this disaster: "Pardon the language turnaround, but this franchise is a fucking joke. I finally have enough trust in them to pick them to win a football game this year against one of the worst quarterbacks of the decade and the coach who ran out the clock right after a fake punt, and this is what happens. A defense that would make the worst offenses from 100 years ago running on pure bathtub booze look like the 2007 Patriots on steroids too powerful for Barry Bonds. Joe Burrow needs to wake up, smell the monster, and flee to a franchise that even remotely deserves him. He deserves to do what Stafford did against us and win a Super Bowl on a franchise that isn't a goddamn meme. And if we happen to somehow be good enough to play in that Super Bowl years later, we deserve to lose. We deserve to get fucking diced to pieces at a 1989 Broncos level by the QB we almost destroyed and Mike Brown deserves to get his incompetence rubbed in his face if it's the last game he ever watches from the owner's box too fancy to deserve his crusty, cheap ass. I hate loving this team so much." [breathes for a little bit] ... Okay, back to the show! :D

*Bears-Ravens (❌): Typical Chicago consistency in being inconsistent! *Browns-Patriots (✅): I may hate the Browns, but Myles Garret deserves so much better than this. *Giants-Eagles (✅): The Giants look like they're kinda sorta maybe back on track for like 1.75 games, and apparently that's enough for the football gods (and also frankly themselves in last week's case) to bury them with everything including the kitchen sink, complete with the injuries that would come from that. Now it's not even funny anymore, but just sad. *49ers-Texans (❌): We're nearly halfway through and I still have no idea what the hell to make of either of these teams. *Bills-Panthers (✅): Well, at least the MeowMix Memorial Streak was fun while it lasted. *Buccaneers-Saints (✅): Geez, can the Saints even be a good jobber anymore? *Titans-Colts (✅): Yeah, not much of a shock that the Colts are doing a good job at continuing their attempt at a '99 Rams arc against this out-of-tune Nashville pile-up. *Cowboys-Broncos (✅): That defense sure is living up to the second half of the name Dallas(s)! *Packers-Steelers (✅): My defense may be an unslavageable disaster, but at least it's not an absurdly expensive unsalvageable disaster! *Commanders-Chiefs (✅): I don't know whether to feel more annoyance at the Chiefs getting hot again or more complete indifference at the Commanders since losing Jayden. 2025 Week 8 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or still a very nice 69.9%

*Bears-Ravens (❌): Typical Chicago consistency in being inconsistent! *Browns-Patriots (✅): I may hate the Browns, but Myles Garret deserves so much better than this. *Giants-Eagles (✅): The Giants look like they're kinda sorta maybe back on track for like 1.75 games, and apparently that's enough for the football gods (and also frankly themselves in last week's case) to bury them with everything including the kitchen sink, complete with the injuries that would come from that. Now it's not even funny anymore, but just sad. *49ers-Texans (❌): We're nearly halfway through and I still have no idea what the hell to make of either of these teams. *Bills-Panthers (✅): Well, at least the MeowMix Memorial Streak was fun while it lasted. *Buccaneers-Saints (✅): Geez, can the Saints even be a good jobber anymore? *Titans-Colts (✅): Yeah, not much of a shock that the Colts are doing a good job at continuing their attempt at a '99 Rams arc against this out-of-tune Nashville pile-up. *Cowboys-Broncos (✅): That defense sure is living up to the second half of the name Dallas(s)! *Packers-Steelers (✅): My defense may be an unslavageable disaster, but at least it's not an absurdly expensive unsalvageable disaster! *Commanders-Chiefs (✅): I don't know whether to feel more annoyance at the Chiefs getting hot again or more complete indifference at the Commanders since losing Jayden. 2025 Week 8 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or still a very nice 69.9%

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 8 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #picks #week8 #nflweek8 #sortapicks #sortasports

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SortaNonymous
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
4 months ago
SortaSports: SortaPicks (SUPER LATE) 2025 NFL Week 6 Review *Eagles-Giants (❌): So uhhh that's concerning for Philly. But wow, maybe the Giants could really build off this into something! (Yes, I wrote this AFTER Week 7 lol) *Broncos-Jets (✅): Subjecting Fieldsball to British eyes should be worthy of a trial at the Hague. *Seahawks-Jaguars (❌): Good ol' Jags consistency in being inconsistent, I guess. *Chargers-Dolphins (✅): I've seen rocks sink less rapidly than the Dolphins. *Rams-Ravens (✅): Don't worry, getting Lamar back will solve all your problems, right guys? :D *Cardinals-Colts (✅): Big Red truly is in the red right now. *Cowboys-Panthers (❌): In what's quickly becoming a weird-ass season, Carolina really seems interested in being the weirdest-ass team of all. *Patriots-Saints (✅): The Pats Maye be back. *Browns-Steelers (✅): The Turnpike Rivalry being a pike in Cleveland's side, shocking. *Titans-Raiders (✅): This is literally the 4th time in 5 years where the first overall pick was stuck with a horrible coach whose failure could be seen a mile away and got fired mid-season. Literally when will franchises freaking learn?!? *49ers-Buccaneers (✅): A certain Queen song is becoming very relevant to this era of 49ers football in regards to how often they go down with injury, and despite how close they've come to it, it sure as shit ain't "We Are the Champions". *Bengals-Packers (✅): Well, at least we only looked kinda incompetent and not completely incompetent, I guess? *Lions-Chiefs (❌): Goddamn it, they're actually back maybe. *Bills-Falcons (❌): Uhhh, Bills? You doing okay? *Bears-Commanders (❌): Okay, you're definitely not doing okay, Commanders. 2025 Week 6 Picks: 9/15, or 60% (40% less than Week 6 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-6): 64.5/93, or 69.4% (down 1.8% from last week)

SortaSports: SortaPicks (SUPER LATE) 2025 NFL Week 6 Review *Eagles-Giants (❌): So uhhh that's concerning for Philly. But wow, maybe the Giants could really build off this into something! (Yes, I wrote this AFTER Week 7 lol) *Broncos-Jets (✅): Subjecting Fieldsball to British eyes should be worthy of a trial at the Hague. *Seahawks-Jaguars (❌): Good ol' Jags consistency in being inconsistent, I guess. *Chargers-Dolphins (✅): I've seen rocks sink less rapidly than the Dolphins. *Rams-Ravens (✅): Don't worry, getting Lamar back will solve all your problems, right guys? :D *Cardinals-Colts (✅): Big Red truly is in the red right now. *Cowboys-Panthers (❌): In what's quickly becoming a weird-ass season, Carolina really seems interested in being the weirdest-ass team of all. *Patriots-Saints (✅): The Pats Maye be back. *Browns-Steelers (✅): The Turnpike Rivalry being a pike in Cleveland's side, shocking. *Titans-Raiders (✅): This is literally the 4th time in 5 years where the first overall pick was stuck with a horrible coach whose failure could be seen a mile away and got fired mid-season. Literally when will franchises freaking learn?!? *49ers-Buccaneers (✅): A certain Queen song is becoming very relevant to this era of 49ers football in regards to how often they go down with injury, and despite how close they've come to it, it sure as shit ain't "We Are the Champions". *Bengals-Packers (✅): Well, at least we only looked kinda incompetent and not completely incompetent, I guess? *Lions-Chiefs (❌): Goddamn it, they're actually back maybe. *Bills-Falcons (❌): Uhhh, Bills? You doing okay? *Bears-Commanders (❌): Okay, you're definitely not doing okay, Commanders. 2025 Week 6 Picks: 9/15, or 60% (40% less than Week 6 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-6): 64.5/93, or 69.4% (down 1.8% from last week)

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 7 Recap *Steelers-Bengals (❌): Wait, the Bengals got into another close high-scoring shootout that wasn't decided until the final seconds due to defensive ineptitude on the final drive... and WE were the ones who won? Against Pittsburgh? Wow. I actually forgot how it felt to be on the good side of these. I know this won't amount to anything, but I'm enjoying it while I can! (And also we're somehow not completely out of this division race despite not deserving it one bit lmao) *Rams-Jaguars (✅): Uhhh are the Jags really the best franchise to push to London like it's their alternate home? *Patriots-Titans (✅): Drake Maye bounced back from a bad coach in his rookie year and no help on the O-line to show off his potential in year 2. Cam Ward is just begging to the football gods that the same will hold true for him, because prospects for year 1 in this dump are GRIM. *Saints-Bears (✅): Bears are looking dangerously close to being a competent NFL franchise. I actually can't believe it, damn. *Dolphins-Browns (✅): The Dolphins' locker room sounds more lost than a jewel from the Louvre, geez. *Panthers-Jets (✅): Now I'm kinda pissed at myself for using up all my half-decent plane puns for the Jets failing last year. *Eagles-Vikings (❌): The Eagles did all they could to hand Minnesota the win on a silver platter, and yet both Carson Wentz and also KOC having a foolish amount of faith in Carson Wentz slapped the win back onto Philly's face whether they wanted it or not. *Raiders-Chiefs (✅): How long until the gum is the only thing keeping Pete sane at night? (Week 7 Recap continues on next pic)

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 7 Recap *Steelers-Bengals (❌): Wait, the Bengals got into another close high-scoring shootout that wasn't decided until the final seconds due to defensive ineptitude on the final drive... and WE were the ones who won? Against Pittsburgh? Wow. I actually forgot how it felt to be on the good side of these. I know this won't amount to anything, but I'm enjoying it while I can! (And also we're somehow not completely out of this division race despite not deserving it one bit lmao) *Rams-Jaguars (✅): Uhhh are the Jags really the best franchise to push to London like it's their alternate home? *Patriots-Titans (✅): Drake Maye bounced back from a bad coach in his rookie year and no help on the O-line to show off his potential in year 2. Cam Ward is just begging to the football gods that the same will hold true for him, because prospects for year 1 in this dump are GRIM. *Saints-Bears (✅): Bears are looking dangerously close to being a competent NFL franchise. I actually can't believe it, damn. *Dolphins-Browns (✅): The Dolphins' locker room sounds more lost than a jewel from the Louvre, geez. *Panthers-Jets (✅): Now I'm kinda pissed at myself for using up all my half-decent plane puns for the Jets failing last year. *Eagles-Vikings (❌): The Eagles did all they could to hand Minnesota the win on a silver platter, and yet both Carson Wentz and also KOC having a foolish amount of faith in Carson Wentz slapped the win back onto Philly's face whether they wanted it or not. *Raiders-Chiefs (✅): How long until the gum is the only thing keeping Pete sane at night? (Week 7 Recap continues on next pic)

(Week 7 Recap con't) *Giants-Broncos (✅): One of those unbelievable comebacks where it's hard to find something new about it other than that New York seems to have at least one moment per decade where they have one of the worst chokes of all time and somehow manage to scapegoat someone on special teams every time. (Like yeah, missing 2 big extra points sucks, but was he the only one that gave up 33 points in one quarter? Was that backup longsnapper with the snapfu (followed immediately by a potential missed PI on the holder's desperation heave) the one who blew them a 24-point lead in 20 minutes against a washed 49ers team in the '02 Wild Card? Was the rookie punter with the line drive punt to DeSean (which he briefly fumbled!) the one who blew a 21-point lead in 7 minutes with the division on the line in 2010? I was literally just thinking about stuff like that when this disasterpiece happened. Okay, don't worry, I'll get off my soapbox now lol) *Colts-Chargers (❌): Wow, Chargers just couldn't wait until January or even November to get Chargering, I guess. *Packers-Cardinals (✅): Guess Green Bay still hasn't forgiven them for 51-45 or the Hail Larry after all. *Commanders-Cowboys (❌): You better not be trying to turn Daniels into the next RGIII, I swear. (Week 7 Recap continues on next pic)

(Week 7 Recap con't) *Giants-Broncos (✅): One of those unbelievable comebacks where it's hard to find something new about it other than that New York seems to have at least one moment per decade where they have one of the worst chokes of all time and somehow manage to scapegoat someone on special teams every time. (Like yeah, missing 2 big extra points sucks, but was he the only one that gave up 33 points in one quarter? Was that backup longsnapper with the snapfu (followed immediately by a potential missed PI on the holder's desperation heave) the one who blew them a 24-point lead in 20 minutes against a washed 49ers team in the '02 Wild Card? Was the rookie punter with the line drive punt to DeSean (which he briefly fumbled!) the one who blew a 21-point lead in 7 minutes with the division on the line in 2010? I was literally just thinking about stuff like that when this disasterpiece happened. Okay, don't worry, I'll get off my soapbox now lol) *Colts-Chargers (❌): Wow, Chargers just couldn't wait until January or even November to get Chargering, I guess. *Packers-Cardinals (✅): Guess Green Bay still hasn't forgiven them for 51-45 or the Hail Larry after all. *Commanders-Cowboys (❌): You better not be trying to turn Daniels into the next RGIII, I swear. (Week 7 Recap continues on next pic)

(Week 7 Recap con't) *Falcons-49ers (✅): At this rate, Atlanta could beat the '85 Bears by 31 and then lose to the '09 Rams by 31 the very next week, and I wouldn't be too surprised. *Buccaneers-Lions (✅): Guess reality was gonna set in eventually for Baker and co. *Texans-Seahawks (✅): The only reason Seattle merely flirted with barfing this game to the Texans instead of outright handing it straight to them was that they knew they had to go easy on Seattleites that night hours after George Springer had just broke their hearts and chewed them out and spit them out and then stepped on them and threw them down a sewer and called them names and then laughed. (Yes, that still hurts and I've never even set foot within like 2,300 miles of Seattle lmao) 2025 Week 7 Picks: 11/15, or 73.3% (1.7% less than Week 7 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 75.5/108, or a very nice 69.9% (0.5% higher than last week)

(Week 7 Recap con't) *Falcons-49ers (✅): At this rate, Atlanta could beat the '85 Bears by 31 and then lose to the '09 Rams by 31 the very next week, and I wouldn't be too surprised. *Buccaneers-Lions (✅): Guess reality was gonna set in eventually for Baker and co. *Texans-Seahawks (✅): The only reason Seattle merely flirted with barfing this game to the Texans instead of outright handing it straight to them was that they knew they had to go easy on Seattleites that night hours after George Springer had just broke their hearts and chewed them out and spit them out and then stepped on them and threw them down a sewer and called them names and then laughed. (Yes, that still hurts and I've never even set foot within like 2,300 miles of Seattle lmao) 2025 Week 7 Picks: 11/15, or 73.3% (1.7% less than Week 7 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 75.5/108, or a very nice 69.9% (0.5% higher than last week)

SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL Weeks 6 + 7 Recaps (Yes, I procrastinated so much on these last 2 reviews that I'm doing a double feature here lol; 1st pic is Week 6 and the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th pics are Week 7) #nfl #sortasports #sortapicks #nflpicks #nflrecap #picks #week6 #nflweek6 #week7 #nflweek7

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El Cónclave
El Cónclave
@elconclave.bsky.social
5 months ago

📊 Marcador final:
Titans 22 - 21 Cardinals
Arizona ganaba 21-6 al inicio del último cuarto. Dos errores ofensivos y una gestión conservadora permitieron la remontada de Tennessee.
#NFLRecap #CardinalsCollapse

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Dynasty Daddy
Dynasty Daddy
@dynastydaddyff.bsky.social
11 months ago
Who Gained & Who Lost? 2025 Free Agency & Trade Fantasy Breakdown!
Who Gained & Who Lost? 2025 Free Agency & Trade Fantasy Breakdown! YouTube video by Dynasty Daddy

🔥The NFL offseason is heating up!

Check out our latest YouTube video breaking down all the biggest moves in free agency.

Who won, who lost, and what it means for the season ahead! 📺🏈

🎥 Watch now
youtu.be/Y1_cEAyLTY8

#NFL #FreeAgency #NFLRecap"

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