*Vikings-Chargers (✅): Well, as if the story of Wentz couldn't get more depressing.
*Dolphins-Falcons (❌): LMAO I guess i kinda called it when I said the '09 Rams could beat these guys by 31 the week after they'd beat the '85 Bears by 31.
*Jets-Bengals (❌): Because this pathetic franchise doesn't deserve another original thought this week (other than how deserving it would be if this was the only team to lose to the Jets all year), I'll just copy-paste my rant to my fellow young, but battered Bengals fan friend after this disaster: "Pardon the language turnaround, but this franchise is a fucking joke. I finally have enough trust in them to pick them to win a football game this year against one of the worst quarterbacks of the decade and the coach who ran out the clock right after a fake punt, and this is what happens. A defense that would make the worst offenses from 100 years ago running on pure bathtub booze look like the 2007 Patriots on steroids too powerful for Barry Bonds. Joe Burrow needs to wake up, smell the monster, and flee to a franchise that even remotely deserves him. He deserves to do what Stafford did against us and win a Super Bowl on a franchise that isn't a goddamn meme. And if we happen to somehow be good enough to play in that Super Bowl years later, we deserve to lose. We deserve to get fucking diced to pieces at a 1989 Broncos level by the QB we almost destroyed and Mike Brown deserves to get his incompetence rubbed in his face if it's the last game he ever watches from the owner's box too fancy to deserve his crusty, cheap ass. I hate loving this team so much." [breathes for a little bit] ... Okay, back to the show! :D
*Bears-Ravens (❌): Typical Chicago consistency in being inconsistent!
*Browns-Patriots (✅): I may hate the Browns, but Myles Garret deserves so much better than this.
*Giants-Eagles (✅): The Giants look like they're kinda sorta maybe back on track for like 1.75 games, and apparently that's enough for the football gods (and also frankly themselves in last week's case) to bury them with everything including the kitchen sink, complete with the injuries that would come from that. Now it's not even funny anymore, but just sad.
*49ers-Texans (❌): We're nearly halfway through and I still have no idea what the hell to make of either of these teams.
*Bills-Panthers (✅): Well, at least the MeowMix Memorial Streak was fun while it lasted.
*Buccaneers-Saints (✅): Geez, can the Saints even be a good jobber anymore?
*Titans-Colts (✅): Yeah, not much of a shock that the Colts are doing a good job at continuing their attempt at a '99 Rams arc against this out-of-tune Nashville pile-up.
*Cowboys-Broncos (✅): That defense sure is living up to the second half of the name Dallas(s)!
*Packers-Steelers (✅): My defense may be an unslavageable disaster, but at least it's not an absurdly expensive unsalvageable disaster!
*Commanders-Chiefs (✅): I don't know whether to feel more annoyance at the Chiefs getting hot again or more complete indifference at the Commanders since losing Jayden.
2025 Week 8 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2%
2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or still a very nice 69.9%
SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 8 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #picks #week8 #nflweek8 #sortapicks #sortasports