Latest posts tagged with #btnrejects on Bluesky
A man from Perthshire has made more than £1m selling fake Scottish tea.
Suspicions were raised when Thomas Robinson was asked how he liked his tea, and he replied - ‘minted!’.
#jokes #btnrejects #newsjokes #comedy #newsgags
Timothée Chalamet is up for a Best Actor Oscar for his latest film, Marty Supreme – the story of a man who rises from his job as a humble New York shoe salesman to become the new leader of Iran.
#BTNNB #BTNRejects #BTN
A coffee shop near York has been holding 7am raves. Early morning raves have a history that goes all the way back to 2009, when US President Donald Trump first joined Twitter.
#BTNRejects #BTNNB #BTN
The current Middle East conflict has sparked fears of global stagflation - a rare economic condition characterized by slowing economic growth, high unemployment, and price hikes on t-shirts saying “Dave’s last night of freedom”.
#BTNRejects #BTN #BTNNB
It has been discovered that Hedgehogs are capable of picking up sounds at much higher frequencies than humans and many other larger animals. So, if more cars had squeaky brakes, perhaps some of them would stand a chance. #BTNNB #BTNRejects
Dame Wendy Hall says that AI is too important to be left to men. This is proved by the fact it has the potential to create new medication, or solve great problems in science and mathematics, and men use it to see what women would look like in a bikini.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny
After he criticised Opera, fans say they'd like to see Timothee Chalamet suffer a cruel downfall after being seduced by a fiery, free spirited woman. When asked why, they said that would be Carmen baby.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny #satire
One participant at the coffee shop rave was left disappointed after they asked for Disco Biscuits, and got given a piece of shortbread in the shape of John Travolta.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny #satire
Rachel Reeves has warned of the risks of inflationary shock, which is the moment when you open your electric bill and go "Jesus!"
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny #satire
Criminals could escape justice because Police Scotland is failing to take fingerprints from over 12,000 suspects a year. A Government Watchdog says this leaves a huge black mark, but the head of the Police says that'll come off with a scrubbing brush and some Swarfega
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
The Scottish National Blood Transfusion Service is asking people to support Scotland twice by donating blood before watching games in this summer's men's World Cup. Ninety minutes that can leave you pale and feeling faint, Scotland's first match is against Haiti.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes
Students at two schools in Newton Stewart had to be kept inside as a precaution due to reports of a bull being on the loose in the town. The animal was later recaptured to the relief of staff, pupils, and the owner of the local China shop.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny
A Dunblane man's five-year quest for a rare paperback came to an end when he unexpectedly discovered a copy in his local charity shop. "I'm in complete disbelief, but so happy I finally own a version of Fly Fishing." said Mr J. R. Hartley.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects #jokes #humour #funny
A church yard bench in Essex, celebrating the life of Keith Flint from The Prodigy has caused controversy.
Residents questioned the devil-horns used in the design, but a local vicar said there is no need for concern... until the speakers are connected.
#theprodigy #btnrejects #breakingthenews
The ship building contracts were set to be awarded elsewhere until a change at the last minute, in what some are calling yet another blatant example of Fergie time. #BTNNB #BTNRejects
Warner Bros has announced it is to open a 21,000 sq ft Harry Potter store on Oxford Street in London. The Company wants it to be an easy-to-navigate, maze-style layout – similar to Flying Tiger Copenhagen’s stores, although as it’s Harry Potter themed, you’ll go through diagonally #BTNNB #BTNRejects
Richard Osman, the presenter of ‘Richard Osman’s House of Games’ announced he is leaving the show after nine years.
Fans of the show have asked the BBC if they plan to make the show shorter? A spokesperson said ‘No - just the presenter.'
#jokes #humour #btnrejects #houseofgames #dadjokes #osman
A Scottish Harp making school will benefit from a £24,000 grant to
purchase new materials and tools.
A spokesperson said the application was down to the Head of the school, apparently he’s one clever plucker.
#BTNrejects #breakingthenews #humour #jokes #comedy #dadjokes
#stobo #harps
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects
Women's brains change during pregnancy. The study lead said the changes are like caring for a tree, pruning branches to make others more efficient. It's also like it because you don't expect so much poo to be involved.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects
Women's brains change in pregnancy. The grey matter, the part of the brain involved in processing information and emotions, decreases by an average of nearly 5% during pregnancy. Of course, the grey has to go somewhere, explaining mothers with toddlers end up dying their hair
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects
The Pentagon has said the US Military will shoot anything that shoots at them. After accidently bringing down three jets in a friendly fire incident, the military in Kuwait are feeling nervous.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects
Burger King's new AI listens to conversations and takes action based on key words. Trials in Scotland were abandoned after the police got called when staff said their branch was full of absolute weapons.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects
A Scottish team is getting ready to take on the world's top shearers at this year's world cup in New Zealand. The team are nervous about taking on the kiwis, as they're a bit smaller than sheep, and might give a good pecking with their long beaks.
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects
A woman has been hailed a money-saving genius after avoiding an airline's £30 luggage charge by putting her clothes in the post. Laura Poole said she was nervous about them being lost or sent to the wrong place, but that was less likely with Royal Mail than easyJet
#BTN #BTNNB #BTNRejects
Rachel Reeves gave her spring statement to parliament, telling them growth figures had been revised downwards and unemployment numbers up. Shadow chancellor Mel Stride said the economy was bleeding out, ignoring the fact it was originally shot in the foot by the Tories.
The NHS has announced a new deal with a medical
cement supplier, allowing surgical repairs on broken joints to continue. The new tagline of ‘we can
glue it when we B&Q it’ has raised some concerns.
#BTNrejects #newsjokes #comedy #dadjokes #humor #jokes
A SpaceX rocket has left a trail of aluminium and lithium debris in the skies. Polish scientists said that space travel with Elon Musk comes at a price and that humanity is caught between a Grok and a hard place.
#btnrejects #jokes #comedy #dadjokes
The first of four new CalMac ferries finally arrived in Scotland after a four-week slow delivery due to bad weather. A spokesperson said there would be no reduction in price, but discounts on future orders would be added to the Deliveroo App.
#btnrejects #newsjokes #dadjokes
#BTNNB #BTN #BTNRejects
People in their 60’s are nicknamed Baby Boomers, mainly because their handling of the economy and removal of all the advantages they had when they were young have blown any chances of this generation being able to afford kids.
#BTNNB #BTN #BTNRejects
The Winter Olympics have always featured sports like luge and bobsled that feel out of reach to average people. When I was a kid, I thought the Cresta Run was going down the corner shop for a bottle of pop.
