My guts churn as my parents’ voices echo in my head. I’m in a circle surrounded by other troubled kids and we’re spilling our confessions out for a man in a perfect grey suit who never stops smiling except to tell you he’s disappointed. He’d clap his hands. I’ll never forget the clap. It was a clap and then a rub, and he’d say “let’s get started.” He made it sound like a buffet.
He’d give us homework. Most of the time that meant writing something and sharing it with the group, but there was another trick he taught us, one I kept doing even after the sessions ended. Ritual was important, he told us. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so what does that tell us about starting our day right by God? So each morning I’d walk to the bathroom before I did anything else and stare at myself in the mirror. I’d look myself in the eyes and I’d tell the Josh on the other side of the glass that he wasn’t gay. It was then I’d know everything was going to be okay.
- The Erstwhile Tyler Kyle
The conifers past the small airport look the same as the ones on Echo Island. Fog seeps over and between them, their branches sloped beneath the weight of a hundred remembered winters. She watches them like they’re special, and as I stand beside her the specialness of these mindnumbingly ordinary trees in this mindnumbingly ordinary place infects me too.
Quote from the book: “The lights in the bar cast their mirror images into the eyes of the audience: a dozen moons reflected in bowls of water. Everyone and everything is stillness and silence—a bated breath given physical form”
- The Erstwhile Tyler Kyle,
Steve Hugh Westenra
Reviews:
“If there were Oscars for books, this one would win ‘Best Ensemble Cast’ as well as a host of others.” - Paul, Queen’s Book Asylum
“It's a crime this book doesn't have more exposure.” - Al Hess, author of Key Lime Sky
“Hypnotising and lyrical prose . . . a sort of fever dream-like reading experience.” - Esmay Rosalyne, Before We Go Blog
About:
A Queer Horror Comedy
A cryptid-hunting YouTube darling
follows a video of his presumed-dead mom to an isolated island that was once a gay conversion camp and may house the monsters he swears aren’t real
“If you don’t open up, I’ll give you a Chelsea smile. You won’t like that much.”
I plead with my eyes, with everything I have. All the pathos I can summon. And it’s not an act. It’s real. It’s real.
[Redacted] slices half an inch into the right corner of my lip. It hurts it hurtsithurts. My skin feels loose in a way that’s not good. It’s no good.
“Please.” Speaking hurts, but the word spills from me, liquid to blend with my tears. I clamp my eyes closed. I can’t look. “Please. Please don’t. Don’t.” Every word is a stutter, my teeth clacking together, my chest heaving.
“Hold still, baby.”
The #transrightsreadathon is coming up! If you like unusual books, literary horror that combines a pop, camp sensibility with darker themes, & Twin Peaks, may I humbly suggest:
books2read.com/u/boB9YL
steve-westenra.itch.io/the-erstwhil...
#transauthor Art by @littleevil0ne.bsky.social