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The Phoenix of Grunvale

@phoenixofgrunvale.bsky.social

1 year ago

Chapter 4: That's Not Fruit Punch

Margo gets herself, Wendy, and April, into trouble with a crazed alt-right group. #ProjectFonz

bsky.app/profile/phoe...

The Phoenix of Grunvale

@phoenixofgrunvale.bsky.social

1 year ago

[ursine Kevin]: "She spat out the blood of Christ!" [vulpine Karen]: "That's a sign of possession by Satan!" [cricetid Kevin]: "That girl is a demon spawn!" Wendy: *facepalms* April: *rolls eyes* [crowd]: "She's the antichrist! Demon from Hell! Soldier of Satan! Possessed by Satan! She's a witch! Devil child! Demon! Antichrist! Witch! Possessed! Rosemary's baby! Stone her! Burn her!" Margo: "What in El-Ahrairah's name are you guys -- uh... I-I-I mean... Yes! Yes, I am! A witch! Margo Hynde, practitioner of the Satanic arts! Throw up the horns, six-six-six! Haaaaail Satan! Now make way, mortals, I need the floor for a pentagram."

Wendy: *covers Margo's mouth* "Uh, never mind my friend here, she's just messing with you! She's not a Satanist, she's not a witch. She's just a... uh..." April: "A bampot! Aye, a tootal bampot!" Wendy: "April, don't talk for now. They'll think you're..." Dirk Shameron: "Speaking in tongues!" Wendy: "Son of a bitch, I tempted them!" April: *puts hand over mouth; an anime-style anger symbol resembling the Scottish flag appears on her head* Zephyr: "Spitting out the most precious blood, dressing as a hoodlum, speaking in *tongues?!* My goodness! I knew New Porkers, Grunvalians to be sinners and heathers, but *never* would I have imagined actual witches! *Satanist* witches! Mingling with mortals! It's disgraceful! It's despicable! It's demonic!"

Zephyr: "You... all three of you! You are ABOMINATIONS! YOU ALL SHALL BURN!!!" [crowd]: *all get angry at the three... except for a phascolarctine who has realized how stupid the X-Angels are, and holds up a sign reading 'THIS IS TOO WEIRD, I'M OUT!'* Wendy: "Uh oh."

Margo, Wendy, and April run from the X-Angels as they try to chase them down. Margo has very much enjoyed trolling them.

#OTOGCOMIC: "That's Not Fruit Punch" (Chapter 4, p9-12)

#OTOG #OTOGWebcomic #ProjectFonz

The Phoenix of Grunvale

@phoenixofgrunvale.bsky.social

1 year ago

April: "Rev'rend Zepha? Who's 'at?" Wendy: "Reverend Luke Ulysses Zephyr. Baptist pastor from Mihama, Flamingorida." Margo: "Dang it, this talk of 'daily bread' got me hungry." Wendy: "He's the leader of the X-Angels, far right group. A bunch of Junie Harper-types that spew hatred and fear-monger about Satan, instead of preaching and practicing charity like the Jesus they claim to follow. They're not Christians, they're Jesus-brand bigots. And they've been going about the Bible Belt and a few of its neighbors all summer, gaslighting millions into believing their regressive bile. I thought somewhere like Iowool or Wyomink would be their next visit. But apparently Zephyr's got the nerve to show his ugly mug in New f***ing Pork. Let's get out of here." April: "Guid t'inkin', Wendy. 'ey, ye maybeh wanna gae t' Core 'r so'in?" Wendy: "The clothes place? Sure, I've wanted to try --" *sees Margo has run off* "Where's Margo?"

Zephyr: "And even knowing one of them would betray him, he still proceeded to break the bread, and bless it. And he said, 'eat this, for it is my --'" *notices the bowl of communion wafers is empty* "Empty?! The devil?!" *sees some of the wafers floating in the fountain... coming from Margo, who has treated herself to them* "You!" Margo: "Ehhh... what's up, doc?"

Wendy: "MARGO, WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING?!?! THEY'RE GONNA MAKE HASENPFEFFER OUT OF YOU, YOU STUPID F***ING BITCH!!!" Zephyr: "Miserable little fool! The devil are you doing?!" Margo: "Whaddya mean what am I doing? I'm eating the crackers you left out." Zephyr: "C-- Crackers? Those are not crackers, you dumb girl! They're wafers! The body of our --" Margo: *jumps toward a carton of grape juice that she thinks is...* "Ooh, fruit punch! NYAAAAAHHHHH" Wendy: "NOOOOO!!!" April: "AAUUGGHH!!"

Margo: "Bottoms up!" *chugs the grape juice down, only to gag and spit it out onto Zephyr* "Blegh! That's not fruit punch!" Zephyr: "GRRRRRHHH!" Wendy: "F***ing hell, Margo, what have you done?!"

#OTOGCOMIC: "That's Not Fruit Punch" (Chapter 4, p5-8)

#OTOG #OTOGWebcomic #ProjectFonz

The Phoenix of Grunvale

@phoenixofgrunvale.bsky.social

1 year ago

Margo: *hums to herself* "Huhwuhzisnow?" *sees that the sign reads 'COME SMELL OUR SWEET CORNCOCKLES FRESH FROM THE PIKANSAS FIELDS'. She laughs as she pulls down letters from the sign, making it read 'COME SMELL OUR SWEET CORN FRESH FROM THE ASS'* "HAHAHAHAHA!" Wendy: "Again with the sign prank, Margo? Get moving before somebody sees you!"

April: "Ye're th' oonleh un who finds 'at funneh, y'knoo!" Margo: "Oh, I don't know. I think what I thought up for 'Congratulations Marc Davis Junior Jaspers on winning regionals three years in a row' banged." *cutaway to the vandalized sign, which reads 'THE JUNIOR JASPERS ARE NASTY AND REGINA WOOLING IS A VILE GROSS --'...* Wendy: *dialogue box censors a certain vulgar word* "You got suspended for that, remember?" Margo: "Yeah, but it was worth it! Once I meddled with that sign, I never again felt Regina Wooling's wet, hoofed finger in my ear! We leporines, we kick back when we need to. And we kick back hard. We're not just a bunch of vegetarian pacifists that take the idea of being lunch lying down." Wendy: "...whatever." April: *noticing the crowd of patrons* "Ehhh... lasses? Whar d'ye s'poose those o'ter patrons're headed? Thar all goin' in the same d'rection, 's naw us'al!" Wendy: "I don't think it's any of our business, April."

April: "Yeah, bu's'it nae a bi' streenge 'at ah'lem're heeded 'at weh? What could be o'er 'ere 'at's sae in'res'in?" Wendy: "Wait, hold up, I hear shouting! Margo, see if you can here whoever that is from here." Margo: "I think I can, I'm on it!" *holds up ear. A voice is shouting, 'GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD'* "Oh, it's just some hungry weirdo. Yelling about his 'daily bread'. Whatever that is. Sounds delicious. Wonder if it's sourdough." Wendy: "'Daily bread'? Uh, no, Margo, that's from the Lord's prayer. Christian mythos. I think that's a pastor we're hearing." Margo: "Pastor, huh? Think he's calling everyone in the mall 'sinners'?" Wendy: "Most likely."

Wendy: "Let's watch from behind here." *hides behind wall, along with Margo and April. She gasps when she sees...* Zephyr: "Attention, sinners of Grunvale! Gluttons, heathens, slothful lot! Salvation is not a product you can just walk in to a store and buy off a shelf! Salvation comes from accepting as your Lord and savior, the one who in Luke twenty-two-seventy said himself was the son!" Wendy: "Dear God no... it's Reverend Zephyr!"

#OTOGCOMIC: "That's Not Fruit Punch" (Chapter 4, p1-4)

Margo gets herself, Wendy, and April, into trouble with a crazed alt-right group.

#OTOG #OTOGWebcomic #ProjectFonz