#ProjectSeawolf

The Phoenix of Grunvale

@phoenixofgrunvale.bsky.social

1 year ago

Chapter 2: Between Foolish and Fungus

Gilda rejects the idea of friendship. #ProjectSeawolf

bsky.app/profile/phoe...

The Phoenix of Grunvale

@phoenixofgrunvale.bsky.social

1 year ago

Gilda: "Uh, yeah, sorry about that, my bad." Chandler: "But, I do suppose I should stary your education under me, with a less stressful subject. Perhaps foreign language?" [ciconiiform deliverycock]: "Ciconiiform Delivery Service! Package for Chandler Spectrous." Chandler: "Huh. Speaking of which." Gilda: "How's a parcel gonna teach me foreign language? Wait, bubble wrap! Can I have the bubble wrap?"

[ciconiiform deliverycock]: "Thank you for choosing the Ciconiiform Delivery Service!" Chandler: "Sorry, Gil, but this one's got peanuts in it." Gilda: "Good grief." Chandler: "But never mind whether it's peanuts or bubble wrap protecting what's in the parcel, what's in the parcel's gonna help you learn Gerbilman. This town's founders' language. Same language family as Eaglish." Gilda: "Oh, hey, yeah! I've heard of this! [Hare Socks Vye]! Iconic RTS for the [Mech Catcher Hive]!" *notices censorship* "Wh-- wait, what? 'Hare Socks'? 'Mech Catcher'? What--" *losers don't troll copyright laws* "Oh, right. This is gonna be published. So we can't name-drop real things we show."

Chandler: "You familiar with the names of the levels in this game, Gilda?" Gilda: "Yeah! 'Abgrund', 'Vulkan', I believe 'Stadt' --" Chandler: "Okay, good." *manipulates scales to read the details of Gilda's assignment* Gilda: "Uh, what're you doing?" Chandler: "Giving your assignment. By the end of the day, I want you to have learned all the Gerbilman words in the first three categories, and the Eaglish translations of the words in the last. I figure an equal balance of elementary and niche topics will make things more interesting than how public school does it. Oh, and I've got a [Mech Catcher Hive] hooked up in the back room for you to test the cart. Test, not play." Gilda: "Well, I know the word for 'green'. 'Grün'. Obviously. So I think this'll come easy."

Chandler: "Well, then, you should pick up this language pretty easy. Of course, you'll have to if you want to fit in with the upper-class folk from Rotergarten and the other north side towns. Oh, and I want a paper on what you've learned." Gilda: "Paper, can it come with illustrations?" Chandler: "Sure, I don't see why not. As long as it shows what you've learned. And after that, I want to put you on the cash register. For math practice." Gilda: "Sounds like a plan, Mr. Spectrous!" *closes door behind her and takes a breath, before grabbing her hair* "'Too old for pigtails'. F*** off, Maddie, f*** off! Now, where does Mr. Spectrous keep the ribbons?"

#OTOGCOMIC: "Between Foolish and Fungus" (Chapter 2, p9-12)

#OTOG #OTOGWebcomic #ProjectSeawolf

The Phoenix of Grunvale

@phoenixofgrunvale.bsky.social

1 year ago

Chandler: *appears from camoflauge* "Gilda, that was very undignified." Gilda: "Understatement! Roz and Maddie are the w--" Chandler: "I wasn't talking about Roz and Maddie, Gilda. Although yes, they are, too. But I was specifically talking about *your* behavior." Gilda: "M-- my behavior?" Chandler: "'Between foolish and fungus', huh? Well, I can think of a word that comes between 'leech' and 'ludicrous'!"

Gilda: "Is it 'load'? Like what you're about to tell me?" Chandler: "No! It's this word!" Gilda: *reads word written across Chandler's scales* "'Loneliness'. Yeah, nice try. I'd rather be lonely than fall for the propaganda of the friendship industrial complex!" *ends up walking into Chandler's nose-horn. The action makes a 'NOSE' sound effect* "'Nose'? What kind of sound effect is that?"

Gilda: "Somehow I knew you'd do that. You know you get my blood and snot on my horn every time you do this, right?" Chandler: "I've handled unborn bird embryos and eaten balut. This? This is nothing. Friendship built the commune you live on, Gilda! And *my* friendship with *your* grandfather, has kept this store alive since his passing! So if I were you, I'd knock off this shitting on friendship you always do! It's sociopathic!" Gilda: "Don't shit on the thing that's gotten me burned, soaked, pushed off tree branches, and thrown into toilet-smelling bins? Si, I know enough about friendship. Like I said! Between 'foolish' and 'fungus' in the dictionary! It's an idea for fools, ugly and rotten like fungus, and I want no part in it!"

Chandler: "Friendship did not cause any of that, Gilda." Gilda: "Yes it did, Mr. Spectrous! You watched it happen just now! My idiot brother's friendship with Roz and Maddie! If that wasn't a thing, I'd not have them as bullies!" *has fantasy sequence of tumbling down a hill into a pond* Chandler: "Okay, Gilda, that is a slippery slope fallacy and you know it!" Gilda: "Look, Mr. Spectrous. I don't want to hear another word about friendship, okay? Especially not after getting assaulted by the f***ing Wylers! So JUST... F***ING... STOOOOOP!" Chandler: "Hmph! Well, this is not how to speak to your elders!"

#OTOGCOMIC: "Between Foolish and Fungus" (Chapter 2, p5-8)

#OTOG #OTOGWebcomic #ProjectSeawolf

The Phoenix of Grunvale

@phoenixofgrunvale.bsky.social

1 year ago

Chandler: "I thought I told you punks you were banned from this store!" Roz: "Only at the Apple Plaza location, you loser!" Maddie: "Yeah, you didn't say anything about here!" Chandler: "Oh, I haven't made it clear, have I? Well, then let me spell it out for the both of you! You are banned, from this store! The entire chain! Apple Plaza *and* here! And any future Griswold's, too! And if I catch you here again, I'll -- what the hell? Terence, put that scanner back! That is company property!" Terence: "Yeah, well, the CRTs are now *our* property! Here's the cash, now f*** off, loser!"

Chandler: "Yeah, you better run! You're all banned, you hear? And you stay away from me on the commune too, Grime!" Gilda: "Ma-gic-ow-wah-sweer-and-sow--" Roz: "Out of the way, toucan girl!" Gilda: "AIII-EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" *falls, cup lands on nose* "Roz, I've told you before! Stop calling me 'toucan girl'!"

Roz: "When you're looking like that? Come on!" Maddie: "Hey, Roz, while she's on the ground, how's about me doing the thing?" Roz: "Oh, yeah!" Maddie: "Alright! Terence, hold this for me." *hands CRT over to Terence: "Here we go!" Gilda: "Oh, no!" Maddie: *grabs Gilda's braids* "Squirts... on... COMMAAAAAND!!!!!" Gilda: "AAAUUUGGGH!!!!!" Maddie: "Haha, she's like a f***ing squirt gun!" Roz: "Forget 'toucan girl', I know an ever better name. Procyon GUSHAH!!!!! NYAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Maddie: "Huhuhuhuhuh." Terence: "Hehhh-heh."

Maddie: "And you know, it just occurred to me. Girls your age are too old for pigtails!" *yanks out Gilda's ribbons* Gilda: "F*** you!" Roz: "Good thinking there, Maddie! And to think society claims that all bullying is a bad thing." Maddie: "I know, right? Gusher was looking like a fool! Well, she still does. But hopefully she'll have the sense to also ditch those stupid-ass gloves on her own!" Terence: "And the shoes." Maddie: "Right, those too. She looks like something out of the 1950s!" Roz: "She needs to learn shame." Gilda: "You're the ones who need to learn shame! Ines in the 50s knew good style! You freaks have *no* style, or class for that matter! I've laid *compost* that had more class than you! Compost that had *shit* in it! F***ing friendship! Comes between 'foolish' and 'fungus' in the dictionary! To the inferno with the whole concept!"

#OTOGCOMIC: "Between Foolish and Fungus" (Chapter 2, p1-4)

Gilda bothers a kiosk worker on her way into the mall.

#OTOG #OTOGWebcomic #ProjectSeawolf