Today marks twenty-one years since my mother died.
She was a woman of firm lines and fixed convictions.
Proper was proper. Wrong was wrong.
Little room for gray, and none for negotiation.
At times she was formidable—
unyielding, exacting, certain.
Always protective of her family
and the values she believed kept it safe.
Stoicism reminds me that people act
according to the world as they understand it.
She did not choose rigidity to wound;
she chose it to guard what she loved.
The depth of that love was never in doubt,
even when the relationship was not easy.
She wanted the best for me—
though her vision of “best” had a narrow gate.
I did not always pass through it as she hoped.
I wish she had been more worldly,
with a broader background,
less bound by structure, more adaptable, more informed—
better able to offer guidance shaped by understanding
rather than certainty.
Perhaps that wish applies to most of us.
Parents do what they can with what they know.
Wisdom is often something we recognize only in hindsight,
when there is no longer time to give it.
Today I accept what was offered.
I let go of what was never mine to decide.
What mattered was given:
care, expectation, effort, love.
What did not align was simply beyond control—
hers and mine.
I meet this day without resentment, without appeal.
I accept her as she was,
and myself as I am.
In #rememberance of #mother
Today marks twenty-one years since she died.
#FreeVerse #Poetry