Infernal Transmutation
That the birds of the sky
Do not sow,
And do not reap.
A lie, misdirect.
Beady eyes not raised,
But earthbound true.
Peck, caw and claw,
Toil the soil,
Swallow the seeds,
Trap the prey,
Tear the flesh,
Kill to live.
In due time
The fields filled
With the dead of your kin
But not you,
Not yet,
Carry on a while longer.
One more burnt bridge,
Another blocked number,
Places you can never go back.
Say you had to,
Claim the cause of survival.
Blood cost just gets higher.
Didn't know a heart,
Could break this much,
And still beat fine enough,
Arrhythmia aside.
Bump-bump, bump-bump
Bump-bump-BUMP
...
Feel yourself grow cold,
Chill with the winter.
Not cruel, but absent.
No mercy to be found.
That girl disappeared into the sea.
And what you're left with is me.
Time and entropy
Test the spirit,
And harden the weak.
Cold, cool, collected.
The woman you needed to be.
Be so many things.
Forget your face,
Known only to observers.
Burst in from bitter winds,
Starved, wounded, deranged.
Find a standalone mirror,
And know you've changed.
Read The Mirror Devours: a trans poet's reckoning with three collapsing relationships, turning 30, and personality strife.
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